Everyone is out for themselves

I'm really trapped in a messed up situation. I've come to the conclusion everyone I know is out for themselves. I'm on disability and I live with my grandmother. I can't afford anywhere to live on my own other then roach motels and bed bug infested apartments.

My grandmother has Alzheimers and she don't have much time left. I know because I watched my other grandmother deteriorate from the same thing.

My mom would help me but she has lung cancer. She had to quit her job to get treatment. At the same time my step dad lost his job of 25 years. They lost their house and everything they had. They had to move in with my aunt into a tiny little one bedroom apartment.

I have no where to go. I really get this feeling everyone is out for themselves. We're all in a desperate situation. I don't want to be around anymore. I'm thinking about getting a bus ticket and leaving and not looking back.

If I don't do something now things are going to be even worse if something happens to my grandmother. My aunt and my mom get the house. I don't want to be around for it.

I'm thinking about going somewhere warm so I don't freeze to death if I'm homeless.

Sleeping on a bench and dealing with bums might be better then what happens here.

I'm not going to tell anyone here what I do. I'm just going to disappear. I'll let my mom know from time to time I'm alright.

It is 3:53 Am here and I haven't slept yet. I just had to come in here and tell you that my heart breaks for you. Don't you have any places where people on disability can get cheap housing? There has to be a solution somewhere.

I hope your ATS family has some good suggestions for you and give you hope. Hugs!

I just hope you find the help you need. It is true most people are just out gor themselves but hopefully you will find someone who can help you.
Well wishes to you.

a reply to: wantsome

If you have transportation to go from place to place, you can stay in national / state forest campgrounds for very cheap. Almost all of them have well water and decent firepits. I used to spend a month each summer doing just that.

a reply to: wantsome

Can you please tell me what's the reason why your on disability before i comment.
Cheers, chin up, thinking of you.

originally posted by: wantsome
I'm really trapped in a messed up situation. I've come to the conclusion everyone I know is out for themselves. I'm on disability and I live with my grandmother. I can't afford anywhere to live on my own other then roach motels and bed bug infested apartments.

My grandmother has Alzheimers and she don't have much time left. I know because I watched my other grandmother deteriorate from the same thing.

My mom would help me but she has lung cancer. She had to quit her job to get treatment. At the same time my step dad lost his job of 25 years. They lost their house and everything they had. They had to move in with my aunt into a tiny little one bedroom apartment.

I have no where to go. I really get this feeling everyone is out for themselves. We're all in a desperate situation. I don't want to be around anymore. I'm thinking about getting a bus ticket and leaving and not looking back.

If I don't do something now things are going to be even worse if something happens to my grandmother. My aunt and my mom get the house. I don't want to be around for it.

I'm thinking about going somewhere warm so I don't freeze to death if I'm homeless.

Sleeping on a bench and dealing with bums might be better then what happens here.

I'm not going to tell anyone here what I do. I'm just going to disappear. I'll let my mom know from time to time I'm alright.

Dude, my little cousin ran away from home when she was 14, she's 16 now and dealing with more crap than most people do in their entire life and yet she never complained

She was out there eating a can of tuna a day and selling flowers on the streets, she used to sleep on a rented room with like 10 other kids all on the floor, she had nothing but whatever money she could get a day and whatever people would gift her out of pity and yet she came around and managed to get an actual job at a family convenience store, then she completed school and managed to get into college at 16

Stop thinking you want to die, it's ridiculous, do what you need to do but do the right choice, as my little sis did

Just to explain a bit, she was living under a bench park for days and weeks, until she got some friends who told her how to work on the streets, then she went to live on that house where lots of kids lived on their own, all homeless basically and just sleeping on the floor at night

Then she had to deal with cops and drugs and stuff and she never gave up, then she had to deal with cps and stuff and she kept strong until we got her back.

You think It's the end the of the world but it's not. It's not as hard as it seems dude, why are you twisting yourself up so much?

a reply to: Malisa

Ahh yes.. struggle struggle and struggle more. You'll make it.. then die.

originally posted by: gallop
a reply to: Malisa

Ahh yes.. struggle struggle and struggle more. You'll make it.. then die.

Lol, what?

Why are you acting butt hurt? We're not even talking about anything related to that.

Are you talking about how Americans spend their entire life working like crazy trying to reach the American dream then die in debt which their children inherit while also trying to pay their student debts and their cars/mortages and credit cards?

Then yes! Struggle struggle and struggle more. You'll make it.. then die.



I'm sorry i don't get you

But kids on the streets do struggle badly, they die as most people, but some survive, but it doesn't look like you get how it works at all

quitters never win and winners never quit , seems to me your family is really suffering and your just looking after yourself.

a reply to: wantsome

Wow, that's as tragic as it gets. I can't help you from here but if you were in Australia I'd certainly put you up until you got on your feet up under those circumstances.

Best of luck mate and my sincere best wishes for your future,

bally

originally posted by: CthruU
a reply to: wantsome

Can you please tell me what's the reason why your on disability before i comment.
Cheers, chin up, thinking of you.

Afraid I agree- obviously everyone looks out for themselves.
When your say you're on disability, what I hear is you take the first two bites out of every meal I eat.

I know far too many people receiving government cheese because they just aren't willing to carry their own weight.

You're injured? So am I... The system wasn't built for us-it was made for the rich. You can't rate yourself on self worth when you depend on others to carry your weight.
Sad but true... Humanity would be better off without government assistance programs.

If you can, go to Oahu. Buy a bike and a tent. Free food at the mission there and other places. You can live by these means for less the 400 dollars a month. It does get boring though. It is best to try to work for one of them little convenient stores though

originally posted by: KungfuStu
quitters never win and winners never quit , seems to me your family is really suffering and your just looking after yourself.

Unless your "quitting" the system - ie of the grid.

Then quitters do indeed win.

a reply to: wantsome

So, your mother has lung cancer and your grandmother has Alzheimer's, both of which are terminal illnesses.

It never occurred to you that one of them, or likely both of them, will need YOUR help at some point? Likely NOW?
Yet all you think of his turning tail and running away, rather than being there for their well being?

And you say "everybody is out for themselves"? Apparently no one is moreso than you.

Sorry you're having a rough time, but they have it rougher than you. I don't know, since you won't disclose the nature of your disability, so I don't know what you've lost, but they are losing their lives. They NEED to focus on themselves right now, not you.

Put your big boy pants on and help out your family in what ever way you can, even if it's to help clean the house, drive them to appointments, or lend a shoulder and an ear.

Good luck.

This explains more www.abovetopsecret.com...

People live and work every day with schizophrenia. I understand that you are concerned about what will happen to you when they can no longer give you support.

If you are in the U.S. you should apply for government housing, food stamps, and I'm sure you already have Medicaid and disability.
You will be able to make it on your own if you have all those supports. People do it every day.

There are support groups you can attend through your mental health services.

Get those services ready, then focus on helping your sick mother and grandmother.

originally posted by: ladyinwaiting
a reply to: wantsome

So, your mother has lung cancer and your grandmother has Alzheimer's, both of which are terminal illnesses.

It never occurred to you that one of them, or likely both of them, will need YOUR help at some point? Likely NOW?
Yet all you think of his turning tail and running away, rather than being there for their well being?

Too bad for them that they chose to have kids instead of saving money for their inevitable old age and all the opportunistic "health(parasiteindustry)care" vultures who come out of the woodwork just when you don't need them.

Yeah. Anyone who knows someone who is retired and didn't prepare for it financially knows exactly what I'm talking about. And even if they did prepare for it well, the most prepared you can be for it really only enriches the aforementioned vultures. The only reason they're there is to take your money while they prolong your suffering and provide you with false hope.

So "preparation" is kinda a misnomer, as what you're really preparing for is to be exploited and robbed blind and guided slowly into a pit of despair, misery and suffering before you finally lose consciousness and die.

But look on the bright side. If you did fall for it and made some babies, you're leaving society with some brand new tax cows for it to eternally milk and do the same thing to them.

originally posted by: ladyinwaiting
This explains more www.abovetopsecret.com...

People live and work every day with schizophrenia.

That sure sounds like fun, don't it?

Why don't we amp up the examples a little bit and find some people who can't move anything but their head and drag themselves around with their chins for decades for fear of being called lazy pieces of # if they give up?

originally posted by: a325nt

originally posted by: CthruU
a reply to: wantsome

Can you please tell me what's the reason why your on disability before i comment.
Cheers, chin up, thinking of you.

Afraid I agree- obviously everyone looks out for themselves.
When your say you're on disability, what I hear is you take the first two bites out of every meal I eat.

I know far too many people receiving government cheese because they just aren't willing to carry their own weight.

You're injured? So am I... The system wasn't built for us-it was made for the rich. You can't rate yourself on self worth when you depend on others to carry your weight.
Sad but true... Humanity would be better off without government assistance programs.

Sure I'll bite the troll bait. I have a severe brain disease. I take mind numbing medication. It doesn't reach peak effect until six hours after I take it. Then is slowly wares off for the next 12 hours. I sleep 12 hours a day. The first 3 hours I wake up I can barely function. I drink a pot of coffee a day to fight the effects. My medication costs $1000 a month.

I spent 10 years in the workforce trying to be a participating member of society. I had good paying jobs except I kept getting fired or laid off. I kept loosing jobs because of my illness. I had a problem with being late to work because of my medication. I was under a lot of stress and my behavior was becoming erratic. One morning I was running late for work. Because of my mental state and medication I almost ran over 3 school kids crossing the street. I had several close encounter with auto accidents. It was only a matter of time before someone got hurt.

In between jobs I had no health insurance. I would spend between 6 to 8 months at a time unemployed. My family was paying cash for my medication. It wasn't an option to go without it. Without my medication I get severely sick. Schizophrenia isn't a state of mind. It's a neurobiological illness. It causes brain damage and every time I have a psychosis it's more difficult to recover from. I was so far gone from my last psychosis the doctors told my mom I probably wouldn't recover and I'd have to be institutionalized.

I get $900 on disability I had jobs making that in a week. This illness destroyed any chance I had at a normal life. I tried my ass off and I'm not happy about taking a hand out.

To get disability I had to go in front of two federal judges. I had medical documentation going all the way back to 3rd grade. I had all of my work records. The judges called my former employers. My current psychiatrist is a MD at a local hospital. I see him on an outpatient basis. I've been a patient of his for 20 years.

When I was a kid the school system thought there was something wrong with me. I have the records they started testing me. My memory skills were off the charts. I had extreme violent behavior. As I got older my behavior got worse. Late in my high school years I started having delusions and hallucinations. I was hospitalized against my will at age 20. I was so far gone the doctors told my mom I wouldn't recover. They drugged me to the max with haldol and thorazine. I went through 5 years of hell to recover from this.

When I got out of the hospital I wanted to work. I went to state run rehabilitation services to get help with job placement. They wouldn't help me because they said I was to sick. They didn't want to waste their time finding me a job placement.

I found a job cleaning toilets for $8 an hour. I worked my way up and eventually someone gave me a chance. I was a sheet metal model maker. I gave up a $16 an hour job for disability. I was good at what I did. If it weren't for my illness I'd be a master journeyman by now making $25 an hour.

I'm surviving on a 3rd world income in the most expensive country to live in on the planet. If you don't have money in this country you're screwed.

Disability is insurance we all pay into. It's there in case people can't work. Better hope you don't get sick because you may need it some day. When you get into you're 40's that's when bad things can start happening. Unless you have one hell of a savings and everything paid off kiss everything you worked for goodbye.

a reply to: wantsome

You don't really have to explain yourself. Those who don't want to understand just won't.

originally posted by: ladyinwaiting
a reply to: wantsome

So, your mother has lung cancer and your grandmother has Alzheimer's, both of which are terminal illnesses.

It never occurred to you that one of them, or likely both of them, will need YOUR help at some point? Likely NOW?
Yet all you think of his turning tail and running away, rather than being there for their well being?

And you say "everybody is out for themselves"? Apparently no one is moreso than you.

Sorry you're having a rough time, but they have it rougher than you. I don't know, since you won't disclose the nature of your disability, so I don't know what you've lost, but they are losing their lives. They NEED to focus on themselves right now, not you.

Put your big boy pants on and help out your family in what ever way you can, even if it's to help clean the house, drive them to appointments, or lend a shoulder and an ear.

Good luck.

My mom has my step dad and my grandma has my aunt and my mom. My step dad once told my mom it's him or me. That's why I'm living with my grandmother. I love her but she made her choice already. No one needs me around here.