Psychology Today: People Refusing To Date Transgenders Is ‘Dehumanizing’

a reply to: ghaleon12

You seem to be confused.

"Ultimately, each individual has the freedom to decide whom they date or are interested in dating, and thus this research does not attempt to make any statements concerning whom an individual should date or consider dating".

It's understandable to be confused when the researchers write a line like this while their work says otherwise. Remember it's dehumanizing to not want to date transgenders. But also, that's ok because you have the freedom to dehumanize others. But also remember the researchers also shamed people who said they wouldn't date transgenders.

So, with all of that said, all the line you've bolded really is, is an acknowledgement that there's no law forcing anyone to date anyone else. That's factually correct but then, why shame people for their choices when they refuse to date transgender people? Well, obviously because they want to force you to date transgenders. Lest you be a terrible, dehumanizing, bigot.

a reply to: fastzombie

Yeah, I wasn't saying it was all a disorder. I was saying T is.

Fourteen pages of this....we really need a 'shaking head in disbelief' emoji.

I personally would never date anyone who was transgender, transsexual or trans anything for some vary basic and simple reasons;

1. I don't want to, and I can't envisage that ever changing.
2. I'm not even remotely sexually attracted to anyone who is.
3. My wife would kill me.

I have never in the past and sincerely hope that I won't in the future be anything but polite and friendly when meeting trans people socially and I would certainly never, ever deliberately seek to cause them offence simply because they are what they are.
I try to treat everyone exactly as I would like to be treat myself....that doesn't mean I want to date and have sex with them though.

It really is that simple.

a reply to: Freeborn

Well why are you dehumanizing them by not dating them??? Doesn't sound like you're treating them with respect and dignity to me. You've taken a whole class of people and discarded them like trash. /s

a reply to: InTheLight

quite a few people of all sexual orientations date for the sole purpose of sexual intercourse and those types will indeed date trans people but, again, for fetish reasons or worse.

Huh? That makes no sense. If you agree that people date for reasons of sexual intimacy, it naturally follows they are only interested in those with the expected genital arrangement.

It is almost as if trans people are between a rock and a hard place within the dating scene.

Yes, they are. But that is not something that can be changed. One cannot decree who must date who.

TheRedneck

a reply to: Dfairlite

Lol.

Not being sexually attracted to someone but still treating them with respect and civility is not 'dehumanizing' it simply is what it is.

If it offends them well I'm afraid it says more about them as human beings than it does about me.

originally posted by: TheRedneck
a reply to: InTheLight

quite a few people of all sexual orientations date for the sole purpose of sexual intercourse and those types will indeed date trans people but, again, for fetish reasons or worse.

Huh? That makes no sense. If you agree that people date for reasons of sexual intimacy, it naturally follows they are only interested in those with the expected genital arrangement.

It is almost as if trans people are between a rock and a hard place within the dating scene.

Yes, they are. But that is not something that can be changed. One cannot decree who must date who.

TheRedneck

Not necessarily, some people are looking for the fetish sexual encounter and so it naturally follows 'anything goes'.

Of course, one cannot decree who must date who, but nobody is saying or doing that here. The underlying point is rejection due to prejudice, fear, hate etc., which is the dehumanizing factor. Some people go further and use violence against trans people.

a reply to: InTheLight

I'll be it's not as true as you would like to think.

If all it takes is a pretty face and outward seeming, then why was I never attracted to men with light hair? Ever? There are plenty of good looking ones out there. Brad Pitt is pretty good looking, but he's not sexy good looking to me. His hair is wrong, and even then ... I don't know.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: InTheLight

I'll be it's not as true as you would like to think.

If all it takes is a pretty face and outward seeming, then why was I never attracted to men with light hair? Ever? There are plenty of good looking ones out there. Brad Pitt is pretty good looking, but he's not sexy good looking to me. His hair is wrong, and even then ... I don't know.

It all depends on what else you are looking for besides looks. Don't forget it really is all chemistry (until one learns one's romantic interest is a trans person - it seems from that study), so it's a toss up.

a reply to: InTheLight

Not necessarily, some people are looking for the fetish sexual encounter and so it naturally follows 'anything goes'.

And that's fine, as long as they go into the relationship with eyes open and cards on the table. Just because something is a "fetish," it doesn't follow that "anything goes," however. A fetish simply means a person likes something out of the ordinary, not that they are up for anything out of the ordinary.

Of course, one cannot decree who must date who, but nobody is saying or doing that here.

Actually, the article linked in the OP is doing exactly that, by saying that refusal to date a trans is "dehumanizing." That's progressive speak for "people should be required to date transsexuals."

The underlying point is rejection due to prejudice, fear, hate etc., which is the dehumanizing factor.

Exactly how does the underlying reason for turning someone down for a date make the turn down any more or less painful? A turn down is a turn down. Some people are better at diplomacy than others, but that has nothing to do with your perceived reasons.

If a man approaches me, I'm likely not going to turn him down as gently as I would a woman. Why? because the thought of sexual relations with a man is disgusting to me, while the thought of the same with a woman is definitely not. That's just how I'm wired up. That disgust will likely come through in my tone of voice, whether I want it to or not. The same with a "pretend woman" (which is what a "trans-woman" really is unless she's had the operation).

Some people go further and use violence against trans people.

And some trans people invite that violence. Letting your partner find out you've got the wrong equipment after letting him think otherwise until an inopportune moment, after purposely making yourself to look like what you are not, is inciting and inviting violence. Some people do that, and while I think some restraint is appropriate, I would not blame someone for throwing punches in such a situation. That's not because the person is trans... it's because they intentionally disrespected and provoked their attacker.

If things get interesting, and one has something unique that could affect the relationship, it is the duty of that one to say something. Especially if that something is having the wrong genitalia!

TheRedneck

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: InTheLight

I'll be it's not as true as you would like to think.

If all it takes is a pretty face and outward seeming, then why was I never attracted to men with light hair? Ever? There are plenty of good looking ones out there. Brad Pitt is pretty good looking, but he's not sexy good looking to me. His hair is wrong, and even then ... I don't know.

It all depends on what else you are looking for besides looks. Don't forget it really is all chemistry (until one learns one's romantic interest is a trans person - it seems from that study), so it's a toss up.

Looking for something besides looks implies I'm getting to know someone which counters attractiveness to some degree. I'm talking about the animal side of things which is, indeed, chemistry. And the chemicals of a transperson are going to be the chemicals of their biology, not the chemicals of their mental gender for starters even if it is messed with by the hormones to some degree.

I'll bet they don't "read" right to most people as a result.

a reply to: TheRedneck

It is not progressive talk, that is your talk.

originally posted by: ketsuko

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: InTheLight

I'll be it's not as true as you would like to think.

If all it takes is a pretty face and outward seeming, then why was I never attracted to men with light hair? Ever? There are plenty of good looking ones out there. Brad Pitt is pretty good looking, but he's not sexy good looking to me. His hair is wrong, and even then ... I don't know.

It all depends on what else you are looking for besides looks. Don't forget it really is all chemistry (until one learns one's romantic interest is a trans person - it seems from that study), so it's a toss up.

Looking for something besides looks implies I'm getting to know someone which counters attractiveness to some degree. I'm talking about the animal side of things which is, indeed, chemistry. And the chemicals of a transperson are going to be the chemicals of their biology, not the chemicals of their mental gender for starters even if it is messed with by the hormones to some degree.

I'll bet they don't "read" right to most people as a result.

I was just reading transwomen dating experiences and I can tell you that some hetero men don't bother reading the profile and end up finding out their date is a transwoman, then having a hissy fit or worse. Meanwhile, they were interested and attracted to the transwoman up to that point.

a reply to: InTheLight

Nah, you can quit peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining. I've been around and seen the way things happen in the progressive agenda. Hillary said Trump supporters were 'deplorable' and her supporters said it was just words and didn't mean anything. Now they're being targeted... removed from YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter, identified as racists and white supremacists, and openly attacked for wearing hats. Smoking was called 'disgusting' a while back... just words. Now some cities have decided to make it illegal to have a puff in your own home.

It's just another turn of the progressive agenda: dehumanize, demonize, de-legitimize, and finally legislate against.

I'll assume that you didn't have a reply for anything else in that post.

TheRedneck

a reply to: InTheLight

I was just reading transwomen dating experiences and I can tell you that some hetero men don't bother reading the profile and end up finding out their date is a transwoman, then having a hissy fit or worse. Meanwhile, they were interested and attracted to the transwoman up to that point.

Then that's on them. They should have read the profile.

Not everyone advertises their "uniqueness," though.

TheRedneck

originally posted by: TheRedneck
a reply to: InTheLight

I was just reading transwomen dating experiences and I can tell you that some hetero men don't bother reading the profile and end up finding out their date is a transwoman, then having a hissy fit or worse. Meanwhile, they were interested and attracted to the transwoman up to that point.

Then that's on them. They should have read the profile.

Not everyone advertises their "uniqueness," though.

TheRedneck

You missed my point.

a reply to: InTheLight

Then what was your point?

TheRedneck

originally posted by: TheRedneck
a reply to: InTheLight

Then what was your point?

TheRedneck

The new stigma of a new minority.

I want to date women.
Not men who became women.
Not women who want to become men.

Its not just about their physical attributes or being shunned from society. There's clear mental challenges happening in the persons mind if they want to chop off their god given sexual organs and pretend to be the opposite sex.

no politically correct crap is going to change nature
men are born with penises and testicles
women are born with vaginas and ovaries

originally posted by: Agit8dChop
I want to date women.
Not men who became women.
Not women who want to become men.

Its not just their physical attributes or being shunned from society. There's clear mental challenges happening in the persons mind if they want to chop off their god given sexual organs and pretend to be the opposite sex.

I'm sorry,

men are born with penises and testicles
women are born with vaginas and ovaries

no politically correct is going to change nature

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, but leave others to find their own way in life.