What is Schizophrenia Spectrum Disease

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

In my life never have I met such a high functioning schizophrenic in sweetness and love my old friend.

I have watched you struggle for over a decade and please take this to heart when I say you are literally a doll, you have never lost your kind nature, quick mind and your humour, You literally have some of the best liners!

So for all your struggle, know I think you are really special that your truest nature is seen by me, your husband and family and friends. The misfiring bits don't define you, just pester you. Your essential self is truly one of the best people I know.

To other members, please don't tell her what to take medically , you are not her physician and it is dangerous. What you mention briefly on a board and forget about can have far reaching affects on her or another patient that reads that you know nothing about. You don't know them or their history. Thank you.

a reply to: zazzafrazz

Exactly it's dangerous her heart is not functioning right. Who is not acting responsibly are her doctors.

a reply to: Peeple

You know nothing about her struggles and medical history over many many years. Her physicians are not evil you are creating paranoia here that should not exist.
Her life is not yours to toy with on a keyboard.
You'll have to go trough me first to mess with GE.

a reply to: zazzafrazz

I am messing with her? She is very sound and rational person, she can express herself very well and I am sure with help and support she could make it through some weird ideas.
But she can't survive without a healthy heart.
Let her try CBD, healthy food with fish and sports. Slowly reduce her dosis of haldol and I promise two weeks and she'll be a lot better.
Nobody wants to harm her. But the haldol is.

It does become such a slippery slope to discuss these these kinds of things, especially through avenues like the internet.

I did not intend any harm, and hope no one felt any!
I think most people, that come to sites like this- are just trying to figure out the mysteries of life and the universe. The different ways in which our consciousness operates is one of those mysteries on my list.

I like to think that there is always a way to twist what was intended for evil into something amazingly good.... and because of the overlaps in gifted thinking and mental illness, I find discussing that aspect of the disease to be helpful... because let’s face it- the one thing I believe is undoubtedly true is that “society” still places stigma on these things when there should be zero...

General eyes has graciously shared her wisdom and insight on the boards here over the years and that is the kind of thing I admire and appreciate in those who suffer. I have lurked here for over a decade but only recently decided to become a participant. Look, I’ll be honest, lurking feels a bit like spying to me, and I’d rather not... I’d rather just let my presence be known. It feels more authentic. That’s what I desire from the world, so that’s what I must be.

I once heard a great take on suffering.... sometimes your struggle is not just for your own learning experience and growth but to be shared with others for theirs as well. Thanks to everyone who has the courage to do that!

a reply to: Peeple

I know the topics I mentioned as delusions are real, it was just trying to live with a constant bombardment of all the topics interlacing with one another and being constantly harassed that made me seek out therapeutic and medical treatment.

No one should be expected to live that way, EVER.

As to your other points, I was not a danger to others....I have a very strong will and nothing pertaining to anything I was going through would ever cause me to harm another person. I did get the cops called on me a few times for being too intense in the public sphere, or else out of it completely.

It's perfectly fine to have imaginary friends as a child but not as an adult.

Also, I'm married and my husband has been with me on more than one trip to the ER when the sensory influx was too overwhelming and I just shut down into a form of catatonia, so I'm not alone on that front.

I also wouldn't blame my Doctor too much. I'm the one who asked for Haldol in the first place.

It's just with the heart complications I need to look for a less damaging alternative.

a reply to: SouthernGift

As far as Big Brother being real, in that I have no doubt.

I long speculated that the reason I was being "targeted" was because the natural filter in my brain had broken down.

There is nothing normal about being assailed with voices (for the most part I was convinced it was telepathy) insulting you at every turn, (running into the long hours of the night and some of the delusions of persecution)....I found ATS because I was looking into MKULTRA which I thought I may have been part of from an early age.

Long story there, won't get into it right now.

But the main point was being that these tormentors always kept their distance in a form of "I'm not touching you".

After all, I had a diagnosis...who would believe anything I had to say? It's all part of the "condition".

a reply to: zazzafrazz

Thanks Mz. Zazz. You're a pretty special lady as well.

*hugs*

Don't be too hard on Peeple, he's not stressing me out in the slightest.

And he's right, the medication I'm on is damaging.

I'll take the proper course of action.

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

Safe travels

a reply to: Peeple

Thanks man, you too.

All the problems of the Rainbow an then some?

Far from any expert but I've generally thought of it being disorganized brain/thought processes along with sensory overloads, where it almost like a pinched nerve , something seized or shorted up there.

Monkey Mind maybe?

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

I'm a lady

Anyhoo there's something I want to write that might be considered controversial, if you feel in any way I could influence you at the moment don't continue reading and if you do keep in mind it's just my opinion.

The single most important thing in your situation is the harmful voices need to be taimed. You're a worthy complete human being, they know that too, that's why they use it as insult.
What you need to do is gain selfconfidence. Lay down where you feel most comfortable. Outside under a nice tree, in your bed, the coach, make yourself really comfortable. Prepare yourself for it with a nice c:up of tea, relaxing music, a nice scent. Then focus on your breath, don't influence it absolutely relaxed, let it flow, observe.
Wander with your attention through your body. The head, shoulders, hands, belly, legs, hi feet down there. You are cute and adorable in your own way.
Relax smile. There is a warmth can you feel it?
Imagine it how you like, but can you imagine a warm blue light? A really intense blue glow. A dark blue, like ink. The universe wants to be your friend.
Relax, breathe.
Maybe take a nice bath take a walk, be good to yourself.

I luckily don't hear voices, I am not saying they will go away with this. All I'm trying to say is whenever you can remind yourself you are wonderful. Unique, but you charmed us all in this thread with your honesty, you are very brave.
If you get better in meditation you can experiment if you find ways to defend your self a little better. And the best way to do that is to detach yourself a bit when it happens. Observer is easier than subject.
But like I said all of that's just my opinion.

a reply to: Peeple

Thanks for the kind words.

I usually do sunshine meditations.

Sit in a comfortable place on a summer day and just close your eyes.

Feel the sun, the warmth...let it warm you inside.

I see a warm orange pink glow when I close my eyes.

At night, when all is silent, I listen to jazz.

It's raining tonight, and it's incredibly calming.

Sorry I misgendered you, I really appreciate the kind thoughts.

I'll try your meditation soon.

Scouts honor.

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

Always nice to have a stack exchange with a fellow traveller.
Good to know you are already meditating. You're fine why I am I worried? You got this.


Can we talk weird? Have you ever tried to engage the voices in a conversation?

originally posted by: Peeple

Can we talk weird? Have you ever tried to engage the voices in a conversation?

The majority of my interactions over the past decade have been in communication with the voices.

Most are groupthink, they insist upon themselves and their own perspective and aren't very open to discourse.

I've had several communes with some about aliens, and a whole wealth of theoreticals, most of which ended in my giving long lectures about everything under the sun, many topics would fit in well with the Aliens and UFO forum and philosophy and metaphysics.

Unfortunately, since the anti psychotic took hold, I've forgotten the majority of what we talked about so I apologize for being vague. I think my posting history from 2006 to 2014 will attest to what I was going through in regards to gangstalking and the alien phenomena.

To be honest, since things have gotten quiet I kind of miss the voices...they were a constant for so long that it's hard to let them leave without saying goodbye.

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

Well the good news is no more voices. That's crossing a line even if would be just with the intention of having a nice chat. It's double good they're gone since they were mean.

originally posted by: zazzafrazz
a reply to: Peeple

You know nothing about her struggles and medical history over many many years. Her physicians are not evil you are creating paranoia here that should not exist.
Her life is not yours to toy with on a keyboard.
You'll have to go trough me first to mess with GE.

This is why I worry so much about people on ATS discussing this , for the exact reasons youve stated.

And with all due respect to the poster, I have seen them do this many many times with people exhibiting clear signs of a "flare up", it could potentially be catastrophic.

In fact some of the members that were constant posters, that clearly were going through a tough time, havent been seen in almost a year, and they have always had threads weekly, it really really worries me.

Its easy to create that paranoia, or fall into the traps of confirming off each other things that arent necessarily true.

My son suffers with this malady, and its been a struggle, and my heart hurts for him every day.

originally posted by: SailorJerry

originally posted by: zazzafrazz
a reply to: Peeple

You know nothing about her struggles and medical history over many many years. Her physicians are not evil you are creating paranoia here that should not exist.
Her life is not yours to toy with on a keyboard.
You'll have to go trough me first to mess with GE.

This is why I worry so much about people on ATS discussing this , for the exact reasons youve stated.

And with all due respect to the poster, I have seen them do this many many times with people exhibiting clear signs of a "flare up", it could potentially be catastrophic.

In fact some of the members that were constant posters, that clearly were going through a tough time, havent been seen in almost a year, and they have always had threads weekly, it really really worries me.

Its easy to create that paranoia, or fall into the traps of confirming off each other things that arent necessarily true.

My son suffers with this malady, and its been a struggle, and my heart hurts for him every day.

so sorry to hear that, if your son has talent, which most people do, that will be his success for independence in life