I love my wife but...

I swear if she says 1 more time, now you know what I was going through I'm going to come unglued...

Yes being primary person to respond to a crying baby is a pain, but I was there to help when she needed it.

Now she is in Texas for tech school, so I'm working 40 + hours a week, getting up twice a night for the kid, taking him to daycare and licking him up dealing with both dogs having separation anxiety cause momma is gone, managing to not strangle the man baby that is our room mate, prepping for my masters degree, and trying to clean the house... Oh and the boys first tooth is starting to push through. Also I'm negotiating a new job in civil service that could have us moving for the third time in 12 months.

I told her this coming weekend she is driving up Friday so I can sleep and manage to do chores on Saturday because I won't have another day off for 3 weeks... And she answered I'll do my best.

Now I know this will pass and all, I still love her but ffs I have my limits.

a reply to: Irishhaf

Hehehe....

Now you know how she feels, just in time for Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day Dad!

a reply to: Irishhaf

As the father of a now one year and 3 month old I can certainly relate to your frustrations although my circumstances are slightly different.

My daughter is strictly breast fed (along with solids though specifically regarding milk) and my wife is a stay at home Mum whilst I work full time. My wife is the one who gets up at night with our daughter as, I do not produce breast milk and she only calms and goes back to sleep for my wife.

During the first 6-12 months was obviously a huge cange for us- reduced socialising, sleep deprivation, financial strain etc. and I felt I had some post-natal depression. Whenever I would speak about things that were upsetting me my wifes default response was "atleast you get to sleep".

Men get told we need to be more open and speak more about our feelings though generally get the sort of responses we have outlined here when we do.

If you ever wish to speak to someone in a similar circumstance ro you're struggling feel free to DM me man

That, that don’t kill you makes you strong.

Rough times, when baby is little. I know each day and night seems like it lasts a week, but the time in general when your baby is little goes by SO FAST. They change so quickly at that age and it's so easy to not enjoy it, because of the sleep deprivation and the isolation and the stress.

That first year after my son was born, I felt like I was living in this weird bizarro world by myself while the rest of the world went on happily and normally. It felt surreal and isolated.

You and your wife have got to get BACK ON THE SAME TEAM. If you two can remember you are on the same side, and go to one another for support instead of competing with each other for who is more tired and who does more, you just might manage to make things easier and even enjoy your little miracle.

How great would it be if you could say to your wife "Baby, I am so tired and so stressed out. I feel like I'm going to go crazy" and she responded "Sweetheart, I know, I know you are so tired, just hang in there and I'll be there in a few days." Or if she said to you "I feel like I'm not holding it all together very well" and you respond "You're doing great, I know exactly how you feel but we'll get through it together."

That may seem like some Leave it to Beaver snip but man, if one of you could make the first move of NOT trying to get the other one to see how much you do, that may be all it takes for you two to get on the same team.

Praying for you both!

Welcome to life
Continues on until one reaches retirement and is a grandparent
"Nuff Said"
(I spent my time)

You really shouldn’t be “licking him up”

Stuck in the rat race. It is nice to chill out and just get a job where you make decent pay and have little stress from trying to climb the ladder. Live within your means. the more you spend, the more you need to make to be at the exact same place financially.

What an exciting time in your life!

These are the good moments in life. You will look back and realize all the great things you had going for you.

Yep. Change is stress. Educational achievements, growing family, job moves-all hard but what great times. Try to slow down and enjoy every moment. And tell yourself to remember all the excitement for when you grow older. Take lots of pics and luxuriate, along with the messes and lack of sleep, in all the love of those babies and a really smart wife.

I miss those days. One day, you might, too.

a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM

old man here and father of 2 in my day before internet and snag wife fed the kids dad went to work simple

"Tech school" as in military?

If so, 90% chance she's cheating on you.

a reply to: abe froman

Try getting a maid. Get the man baby to pay her.

It's like "Do the chores or pay the help."

hang in there Irish! You got this!!
Can you put off getting your Masters just now? That is too much stress by itself, I can't imagine attempting it while you've got all that other stuff going on too.
I hope you get a break soon and hopefully you guys can be there for each other.
Hang on man, get some good vitamins too- can't hurt!

a reply to: Irishhaf



And this one:



"Guy's who play video games do not love their wives."

"I just want eat my ham sandwich"

Get ready for the divorce after she gets her tech. degree.

a reply to: Irishhaf

I think I've been married long enough, and have had enough kids to give you some advice.

The only way a relationship works (successfully) is if you have respect and empathy for your spouse.
Not just you, but your wife also.

I know you are very tired, but these years go by very quickly. Enjoy ever single second at the baby stage. You'll be thinking about it for many years. You'll open your eyes one day and there will be adults standing before you and you'll wonder where did the years go.

When your babies are 16-17-18 you'll wonder what the heck you were thinking and would trade that crying, poopy diaper stage for the teen years in a heartbeat.

My daughter had extreme colic when she was a baby. We are talking about crying for almost all waking hours. My husband worked at the time and I was on leave. He never once complained. He worked and put in just as much time helping with the baby. He would let me rest and heal. He adored all our children and never saw taking care of them as a chore or something undesirable. The other thing I wish all young parents would get, what are you doing it all for? Work comes second, family comes first. Trust me on this...

a reply to: Irishhaf

Norm Peterson from Cheers famously said "women. Can't live with them...pass the beer nuts.'

I don't have younglings, but I know some friends who do, good luck for the next forty years.

Teething problems.......frozen mini waffles.

It gives him something semi hard to chew on to help the teeth come through and the cold helps with the pain.

I got 3 kids. It works.

a reply to: Irishhaf

My current girlfriend says that all the time about her mom. She doesn't feel like her mother is emotionally available to her because she gets that response so often that she doesn't go to her anymore when she's having a hard time with something. She can never just listen or be there for her, she always has to come back with something like "Well how do you think I felt when ____?"

Maybe try to think back... when She was dealing with it, how did you react? Is she justified in wanting a little payback? Or were you really there for her?

If you were there for her at least a little, and not coldly indifferent, like she seems to be at least a little... Then you could remind her. Say "I know you've had to deal with this more than I have, but at least I showed some kind of sympathy. When you tell me 'now you know how i felt', it doesn't feel true to me because when you were going through it, you had at least some support and sympathy."

Or something like that.