Squirrels are CIA agents

a reply to: Sabrechucker

Secret training footage.


This post will self destruct in 10 seconds .... 9... 8...7... 6 ... Fizzle .

Now listen here my tin foil hat brethren!

Say what you want about the furry rodents, the pretty birds, and the feline familiars, the truth of the matter is that not even the most technologically retrofitted critter doing the bidding of any modern intel agency even holds a candle to.... the owls.

That’s right, I said it:

The Owls Are Not What They Seem




The owl is the original secret agent, going back thousands of years. One might even suggest that the owl was created for the intent purpose of psychic spying. After all, they are the only nocturnal species of bird. The rest of your modern day intel critters may as well be glow in the dark alphabet wannabes, and mediocre ones at best.

I am about to post something extremely important on this very topic.

It all started whe.... SQUIRREL !!

Those furry little bastards are all over my back yard like a rash, and digging enough holes to make it look like an effing golf course. They're adorable. Does anyone have a recipe for squirrel pate?

originally posted by: HighRising
Those furry little bastards are all over my back yard like a rash, and digging enough holes to make it look like an effing golf course. They're adorable.

Does anyone have a recipe for squirrel pate?

Lawnmower and a sieve?

But noo.. they're aerating your land, it's good for growing things like Napenthes, which like aerated soil. And if you're lucky, they'll lure those pesky squirrels in with their sweet, slippery lips, where the timid yet hungry squirrel will be unable to resist her sultry peristome and fall into the dark soul of her digestive chamber, where her succulent juices and slippery walls will trap it, and slowly digest it, alive.. To keep the squirrel population down!

It's win/win !

Also a great youtube video, if you ever indulge.

a reply to: HighRising

Sounds like you need to call Bill Murray

originally posted by: Sabrechucker
a reply to: HighRising

Sounds like you need to call Bill Murray

YOU cannot call a gopher expert for a squirrel issue.. What are you thinking !!

Well, as cruel as it may sound.....
I am happy to report, that my 2 monstrous barn cats, have thrown off the shackles of their alien overlords, and have came over to team human, to protect my little patch of land, from the various CIA spies trying to infiltrate our neighborhood. They have worked tirelessly on the chipmunk population, and while I haven't seen any evidence of an actual takedown, I have witness them chasing the squirrels out of the yard.

I did interfere with a young bunny assault though, which seemed to anger them greatly. I hope they don't switch sides again.

a reply to: chiefsmom

It's not cruel..we must take back our land from these rodent saboteurs!

originally posted by: [post=24355685]
I would also keep a keen eye on the oh so cute BUNNY RABBIT! their up to no good! every time I spot one they freeze up... I see you, you stupid Rabbit. freezing in place doesn't make you invisible!!

www.youtube.com...

We gotta go to a new reality Morty, you f$cked with squirrels!

originally posted by: Sabrechucker
The CIA’s Most Highly-Trained Spies Weren’t Even Human
As a former trainer reveals, the U.S. government deployed nonhuman operatives—ravens, pigeons, even cats—to spy on cold war adversaries

www.smithsonianmag.com...

Beware..They seec EVERYTHING

Well the Russians apparently are using Beluga whales-
Enigmatic Beluga whale lets people pet it in Arctic Norway


It's getting so you can't trust any critters!

snap! double

a reply to: gortex

WTH! I want that thing tested for Rodent Enhancing Drugs!

a reply to: underpass61

I still love this one:

Iranians arrest 14 squirrels for spying

Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation's borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic. "In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran's borders," state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services." Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran's borders. "I heard of this but I have no specific knowledge on the subject," he said. He refused to give further details.

www.ynetnews.com...

Genius but, I think skunks may be more efficient

a reply to: Sabrechucker

That's Interesting .........

a reply to: Sabrechucker

Hell Yeah , they Uphold the Law Concerning Foreign Nationals Plotting to Destroy America Among other things ....)

originally posted by: Sabrechucker
a reply to: carewemust

The MQ-9 is severely under used. Accuracy issues or lack of intent?

I think we run into the same problem there as we do with the medical industry and personnel not wanting to cure cancer. There's money to be made by dragging out conflicts, just like diseases.

Hmmmm…
Just got to thinking about the fact that we have a few members here, that have squirrels for avatars...
Probably squirrels in real life, and keeping track of our posts here, for the CIA.

LOL

a reply to: Zanti Misfit

That is so wrong but...So right!

Guess what he doesn't have to go looking for.