Victimology - ignoring victims of bullying taking measures into their own hands - Nicholas Cruz

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Former teacher here, and I think about this element all the time following school shootings like this one. I find it galling how the three particular Parkland students were paraded by the media promoting gun control, and not one of them talked about bullying.

The latina girl (can't remember her name - Emma, maybe?) who became the media darling even said in one of her rants something about how weird Cruz was, and 'you didn't know him!', or words to that effect, which came across as justifying why being mean to him was OK.

It's always easier to enforce changes on others, by taking their guns for example, than change their own behaviour, by treating others with respect.

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: JFA13
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Great post! I was bullied when I was younger, then by the time I got into high school that all changed and the bullies feared me. I hit a grow spurt and got tall and wide and was a nonsense punk rocker. I would embarrass the bullies in school in front of everyone!

Once during class there were a group of guys picking on this poor guy that prolly didn't have very many friends and had just broken his arm so he had a full arm cast on. I had yelled at the guys to leave him alone. Of course one of them asks me what I was going to do if they didn't? I told him to keep it up and he would find out. Well of course they continued to pick on the poor guy so I got up from my desk, walked up behind the kid who asked what I was going to do, grabbed the back of his head and smashed his face into his desk about 5 times. Needless to say I got sent to the office. Best part was that I didn't get in any trouble for it. The teacher and principal actually thanked me but told me not do it again. (or just don't get caught)

Hey, I meant to ask (if you don't mind dating yourself by revealing your HS dates) when did this event happen (the arm cast guy)? The reason I am wondering is b/c it seems there is a very wide range in how bullying was handled in the past. Some were allowed to fight back, others were punished the same as the aggressor. I'm wondering if this was a nationwide trend that went into effect around the same time, or if it was more or less adopted at different times school by school or possibly by state rules/legislation? I think this is a really important topic to figure out what is going on with bullying. When and where these rules started might shed some light on the overall issue. I know there was no difference between bully and bullied (if they fought back) by 1987 where I was, so my entire school tenure - which really sucked.

This was in the late 80's into the early 90's that I was in middle to high school. Back then both all parties involved got in trouble. I normally would not get into trouble cause I owned up to what I was doing or did. I didn't care about getting in "trouble" for standing up in what I believed in.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof


Very good thread IMO.

My son started being bullied in 1st grade. I had to switch him to another class, which actually became worse.

There was a child in the 2nd class that would strike out at anyone at any given moment without provocation. I complained to the principal many times and I got the “we are addressing it speech”.

Then one day, I pick up my son and his teacher blasted me, she asked if I told my son that if anyone hits you hit them back. I said “Yes” I did tell him that because your administration has done nothing to address him being attacked daily.
To which she had nothing to say.

One morning a big man was running towards me in the parking lot trying to talk with me, at first I was scared; but he explained he was this child’s adoptive parent. He apologized for what was happening and told me he and his wife had been begging the school to get this kid into a program for troubled children to which he always got “we don’t have the funding”. He then told me they were thinking of taking him back to foster program because he was so dangerous, the family had to put locks on all the other kids doors because he was hurting them at night .

Apparently, both his real parents were in jail and abused him badly. The poor kid was burned with cigarettes.

I ended up having to quit my job at another school to stand on the playground at my sons school to monitor the kids involved. Which I did. I chaperoned every field trip. The child that was hitting my son ran up to me on the playground with his arms outstretched and hugged me. I realized this child needed love. He would sit with me on the bus going on field trips and I would be extra caring with him.

I hope that dad didn’t give up on him.


I realize that situation is different from most bullying situations, but what I’d like to convey is that we are all humans, and if we tried to have some compassion and empathy for others struggling and who need acceptance more than anything without judging, Maybe things like shootings wouldn’t happen so much.

New Haven CT dude was crazy, and should not have had access to guns!