May the Best Man Win...or not AI2019

An urgent newscast interupts the daily broadcast with an emergency report:

"We are just under an hour in to this election and things have already turned into what appears to be a full on assault on democracy. Both sides of the aisle in congress are rabid with denial and rife with accusation. One thing is clear – the rage is palpable. Both sides are threatening nuclear responses, whatever that means, if the other does not stop trying to steal yet another election."

"Reports of disruption are coming in from polling places. We take you now to Robbie Jensen live at a Des Moines polling place. Robbie, can you hear me?"

"Hello Susanne, yes I can hear you. And I can hear thousands of angry voters who have been denied their right to vote in this election. The anger is at the boiling point and seems to be getting worse by the minute. Not one single person I have spoken to has actually voted in this election. Sir. Sir? Can you say a few words about your experience to our viewers? Whats your name?"

"My name is Billy Bill Willliams."

"Did you vote today Mr. Williams?"

"Naw. I done tried to but the machine is busted or somethin'. Every time I tried to vote it said “Try again.” I couldn't vote for nobody."

"And Mr. Williams' story is just like everyone else's here Susanne. Not a single person here was able to register a vote. Democrats and Republicans have formed make-shift skirmish lines outside and insults and accusations are being hurled back and forth like a tennis match of sheer insanity."

"Robbie, I am sorry to cut you off, but we take you now to Washington DC where congress has called a special session to address this issue. "

Trey Gowdi: "This is an outrage. The American people can not be disenfranchised in this, the most basic and necessary of our rights, as citizens of the United States. I believe I speak for every freedom loving American when I say that no one is going to steal this election. Not on my watch."

Nancy Pelosi: "This is....ultimately...what we are seeing here...if Mr. Trump thinks this is okay then...we as a people can not abide by this. It is only when....and I say this from experience...once you...if you let...you can't just take away the rights...this is America Mr. President!"

AOC: "I can serve beer at the same time!"

Huillary: "You know...people say a lot of bad things about me, but at least I never tried to steal an election."

"Err, yes you did."

"So what the hell is your point?!?"

Andersen Cooper: "The election began less than 2 hours ago. CNN has already received no less than six in depth studies of election fraud committed by republicans in this election. The shortest of these reports is over 400 pages long. The evidence agaisnt republicans is overwhelming and cannot be denied."

Back to Susanne in the news room:

"Well, this is interesting. It seems that neither the democrats or republicans are trying to steal this election. The voting machines themselves, in a moment of pure lucidity, decided to deny any vote to be cast for a candidate that is not worthy of office. Unfortunately, no matter what name you enter from the ballot the response is, “Try again.” "

The End...

a reply to: Vroomfondel

I like paper ballots.

a reply to: Vroomfondel

I loved the cut to's and the comic relief provided by the Dems.


Makes me wonder just when safeguarding democracy might destroy it.