Love it or Hate it...

Some time ago. I watched an old man drop his shopping bags and a young child run over to help him. I walked over but this little kid insisted on taking all the bags without help so I let him.
The young boy grabbed all of the old mans shopping bags, clearly far too many shopping bags for him, and struggled, yet still walked the old man to a car with a polite but strained smile.
A few weeks later I came across this same old man at a bus stop, moaning about the youth of today.

This made me think a lot and raised more questions at the time.

Why do and why would so many older folks run out in front of a moving vehicle to save a young child, yet complain about the same person until something happened, popped into my head first. Yet this young child right in front of me back at the time, helped the same old man, that would save him, out of a store with his shopping bags?

Then I thought, why are people so quick to destroy each other if these two people at such polar opposite ends of life can meet for just a little moment and appreciate each other?

Back then a small token of wisdom hit me that is easy to forget and sadly I did... We are all on the same journey to a grave or furnace, why treat someone at the end of life any different from the start? If we could see beyond time, we could have care, courtesy and acceptance of each other really quite easily.

I also saw that we are all born, pretty much waiting to die, it is about the only thing we ever really will know with absolute certainty. In turn, why waste any time on this journey spending your finite moments in hate for another? Also, it shows that anyone that hates you, only spends their own life moments on you, love really.

This was quite a profound moment for me, it changed my life. Yet one of the curses I have found is that being human, we are adaptable and change to circumstances. Some good, and some bad.

I had forgotten all of this until remembering recently. I could not help but feel we live in this world now that proclaims being good, yet does nothing but feed us with darkness...

Given all of the above, if the only truth we will ever really know with certainty is that we will die, why do we fear death and if so what does that fear do to us?

I have spent the last 2 years of my life fearing death with something that happened and for me it resulted in, sadness, second guessing, fearing bad choices, procrastination, anger, fear of loss, blame and confusion. The greatest thing I have noticed is that all around seems to be this whole lets be so positive movement going on. It doesnt work, it is ignorance at best and will lead to a crash on a personal level if you believe it. Embrace both sides of the coin, it is alright to be horrible or great, its alright to be sad or happy etc, fear if you need to but dont fight it... bottom line for me has been accepting all of the above with one final realisation... accept it all. LOVE IT, HATE IT, imagine you will die tomorrow, how easy would everything become?

So why are we all doing this thing where everything is going to be alright, its not, this is... actually it and you will die like we all will!

No second tries as who we are right now!

Do not listen to that feeling that says wait for something... that is death speaking to you... say hi and let it chase your sorry butt



(Irony - if only it did my ironing)

I don't fear death. I do not criticize the young, I do get frustrated when they just do not pay attention to what you are saying to them though. I have been studying pharmacology and properties of food for like ten years now and I can blow most people I meet away with pertinent information about their problems, yet my kids took years to start listening to me about this kind of stuff, finally they are starting to see I was giving them the right advice. Although both of my kids are girls, the only reason they listen now is they start checking the validity of my info to actually counteract it but found I was right.

It's frustrating, the thing is I blew off my parents when I was younger too, thinking the teachers were more worth following. But I learned by the time I was twenty five that my parents advice was worth checking out to see if it was real, often it was, sometimes they just were agreeing with me because they did not want to hurt my feelings. I wish they would have just told me straight instead of that stupid bedside mannor crap and being nice BS that forced me to make more mistakes than I should have. My daughters are finally starting to realize my criticism is constructive criticism, I had to tell them to look it up. Sure, I sugar coat some things if they are not going on the wrong path, but if I see them straying off, I try to give them advice.

Why are the young doing the same stupid things I did, how come my wife says I have to just let them make their own mistakes. What is going on in society when the old do not warn the young if they are on the wrong path, and why do the young ignore experienced people's warnings and follow wasteful practices pushed by the schools. I am sick of buying overpriced cookies from school kids. I do not mind supporting the grandkids, but the cookies and candies they sell should taste good, put some sugar in those chocolate bars and sell homemade cookies at the sales.

Oh crap, I am now frustrated and complaining, ranting in the wrong forum. Damn, I am not going to be able to fall asleep now.

originally posted by: rickymouse

Oh crap, I am now frustrated and complaining, ranting in the wrong forum.

Damn, I am not going to be able to fall asleep now.

Not really. If anything take a bit of comfort in knowing that when the going gets tough, we all can relate to each other and will

In relation to your post that is

a reply to: XXXN3O

I never feared death... used to run directly toward it and challenge it to take me... then I met my wife and suddenly didn’t want to take the same chances anymore...

About a year and a half ago I was in a horrific car accident... I hit a tree dead center and was lucky to walk away... it was the absolute hardest hit I’ve ever taken and it changed everything... I began to fear and dread the concept of death... I feared losing my wife... feared losing my income... feared losing everything... slowly but surely I’ve seemingly manifested it all... haven’t worked for over ten months... my wife left Sunday morning... and the only thing left is the reaper...

I used to be able to snap out of things... used to be able to make everything not just better but awesome for myself and everyone around... right now I’m broken... physically... mentally... emotionally... spiritually... financially...

Two hours after my wife left there was a news report that a young woman that had been drinking and driving the exact same make/model/color/old year in the area was killed in a head on collision and I lost my mind... I later found out it wasn’t my wife... but the coincidence is still hard to take... I thank God it wasn’t my wife... but the fact another person lost their life unnecessarily is terrible...

I’ve been told I’ve been dead several times... the thing that scares me the most especially having someone I love so dearly is that I never had that “near death experience”... just darkness... that sunk into me the other week when I had yet another surgery... and quickly slipped under... and nothing there...

I still believe in God... I still pray to Jesus... but I hope there’s more to all this... more than anything else I want etenity with the love of my life... my best friend... my wife... the fact I don’t have her here now feels like I’m being stabbed in the gut over and over and over again...

Anyway... thanks for letting me ramble some of this out of my head... best wishes...

a reply to: SwissMarked

I lost my home, my family, my friends, even ended up in prison for following a dream, I lost my everything and worse but I fear no more of it no matter what...

I say this as someone that has been through some serious &&%%&%&

Let it all go, truly, let it all go and see the truth, you will die and so will everyone else you meet, spend your time as you see fit as long as you are not cutting anyone elses short or your own with hate...

Then you can actually really be alive, might sound cheesy but when you are in the gutter its a lesson, say this knowing the full story, well as much as I know for now!

Sorry to be cheesy but, you need it by the sounds of it and I hope God makes you listen as little sense as makes right now...



PS: Nothing wrong with accepting Jesus into your life or prayer, keep going!

a reply to: XXXN3O

Since the accident booze has been a big problem for me... and her... I used to be able to have a couple beers and call it a night... now if I don’t drink I’m cool... but once I crack the first can... I’m heading for a blackout...

I’ve tried getting her on board with sobriety... and we did really good last August and September... October a friend of hers wanted to go out to a bar... didn’t want her driving drunk so I sat for two hours listening to this condescending prick and was like “screw it... give me a beer”... been on a bender pretty much since... poured out everything we had left a little earlier... I hope she comes around... was literally the first fight we’ve ever had... which four years in isn’t bad... but this just doesn’t feel right... at all... and I got no choice but to let her/it go... she took our only vehicle... so it’s not like I could chase after her even if I wanted... and I’m not gonn badger her to talk to me because I know that’ll just push her farther away...

Sometimes life just sucks... but I certainly am not looking forward to the inevitable... so this buttercup will just suck it up...

originally posted by: SwissMarked
a reply to: XXXN3O

Since the accident booze has been a big problem for me... and her... I used to be able to have a couple beers and call it a night... now if I don’t drink I’m cool... but once I crack the first can... I’m heading for a blackout...

I’ve tried getting her on board with sobriety... and we did really good last August and September... October a friend of hers wanted to go out to a bar... didn’t want her driving drunk so I sat for two hours listening to this condescending prick and was like “screw it... give me a beer”... been on a bender pretty much since... poured out everything we had left a little earlier... I hope she comes around... was literally the first fight we’ve ever had... which four years in isn’t bad... but this just doesn’t feel right... at all... and I got no choice but to let her/it go... she took our only vehicle... so it’s not like I could chase after her even if I wanted... and I’m not gonn badger her to talk to me because I know that’ll just push her farther away...

Sometimes life just sucks... but I certainly am not looking forward to the inevitable... so this buttercup will just suck it up...

What is your biggest fear?

I am not talking abandonment, ridicule, discovery, slander, judgement or anything like that...

boil it all down... Death...

Use that, instead of giving into it, get me?

Live in the face of death, let it chase you! Be ALIVE AND LIVE!!!



I cannot answer your pain my friend but I absolutely guarantee you, that if you do what I have said, you will stand back one day and thank yourself for paying a small bit of attention lifes moments. Honestly, no bull

We are all on our own journeys but we are never alone

A great thread, though too late at night for me to comment and by the time I get up tomorrow, I'm sure someone will have said what I might have said. So I will at least give you kudos and catch up in here tomorrow.

Choose Life, don't despair. You have loved and been loved. www.youtube.com... not sure how many more turns I will make in this walk called Life.


but... the Corrs floored meTHANKS

originally posted by: Plotus

but... the Corrs floored meTHANKS

Corrs? So they should sonny boy hehe

Thanks for your wisdom and insight

a reply to: XXXN3O


I read your thread and thought it was perfect; nothing to add; nothing to subtract.

Then I thought, "Wow, that anecdote of the old man and child reminds me of one of my own anecdotes."

But then fear set in, "Would I be coming off as a narcissist?" But since this thread has taken on the aspect of a sort of confessional corner, I will face that fear!
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There is a street corner that I pass every time I go shopping at the closest grocery store. There are usually one or two homeless people posted there holding a sign, "Anything will help".

One day I thought to make a quick trip to get something specific at the store on foot. Usually, my son-in-law takes me every other week on Thursdays to do two weeks worth of shopping.

So I reached the above mentioned corner and sure enough there was a guy there holding the sign. I handed him a twenty and kept on walking, but he called me back, "Hey wait! You can't just give me twenty bucks like that. Lets talk a bit, I want to know why."

So we talked a while. He told me about how he scored the nice boots, pants and jacket he was wearing. It's all about going to the Good Will store at the right time on the right days, when certain items are on sale. His outfit actually did look better than my sandals, frayed sweatpants, and 15 year old Fedora/Western fusion hat.

Then he told me all about how the Earth is flat and the government knows it, and brainwashes people into thinking otherwise, and how the moon landing was fake, and a few other common conspiracy theories.

After about 45 minutes I got to feeling like I'd rather be home. "I really should hurry up and do my shopping. This was supposed to be a quick trip."

After I picked out the item I'd gone for and was standing in the check out line it struck me that I should have picked something up for him, but I didn't want to get out of line and go all the way across the store to the deli, so I just grabbed a beef stick and 20oz Mountain Dew.

When I got back to the corner I held the items out to him, "I got you something."

His reply was, "What the hell do think I would do with that? You might as well shove it up your ass! Do you eat that crap?"

"Not as a daily thing but yes, I do occasionally." So I went on home eating the beef stick and drinking the mountain Dew, still shaking the image of suppository nutrition out of my head.

I saw him again about two months later, on my way home riding shotgun. My son-in-law knows to pull over and lower the window(you can do that from the driver's side these days with electric windows) any time there's someone there on the corner. He didn't look as good as he had earlier. I gave him the 20 and he just looked at it. He really didn't look as good as he had.
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I've got no cleaver moral to the story. I'm just sad.

a reply to: pthena

I appreciate your post. Not your fault that your gestures were not appreciated.

I am aware of the narcassistic nature, but how else can we share? Can only tell you something similar to convey that I understand you...I met a guy that was suffering from an illness called CRPS (Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome). He was ex-military and could not walk, on a morphine drip for the pain. He suffered an injury to his feet but after physical healing his pain was still constant.

I got a suicide message asking if I could help as he was at the end of his rope with the pain and suffering both himself and the anger he was projecting towards his family that were trying to care for him.

I spent 30 mins with him and thought maybe there was a way to trick his sub-conscious into turning off his empathetic nervous system (my understanding of the pain being constant despite physical healing being completed)

He stood up after one session, walking, jumping around, crying with laughter etc... great moment...

Few months later I get a call asking why I "reported him" to the government and had his benefits cut... asked him if he had been walking around without a walking stick... yep... had he told doctors he was cured... yep... all of which was against my final advice as this was something I told him to keep quiet for his own benefit. Could he... nope... who did he blame for it all...

ME

My fault? Maybe? Do I regret? Nah...

The more I live, the more I see that the challenge is to let it all pass without letting your heart turn to darkness. Yes, it is harder than it seems but deep down is it really all that hard? Nope the bottom line is, ill die for believing that I can do my small bit to make life better for anyone no matter whether they love or hate me for it

Guys back in a wheelchair, filled to the brim with morphine again ive heard, his pride will not allow me to go and see him, outright refused, he hates me and ive done nothing to him at all yet im the bad guy and I guess that is ok. It sure hurts at times but I do not want to drown a horse with the water if you get me.

Bottom line... I now feel...



I will probably die trying to share that too, ive been lucky to see and meet the people I have. It is all alright, some mug has too try and do some good. I know just how much of a mug I really am so ill be happy

originally posted by: SwissMarked
a reply to: XXXN3O

I never feared death... used to run directly toward it and challenge it to take me

"I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." Woody Allen

This post made me think of Benjamin Button. That was a disturbing movie tbh. Born as an old dying man and aged backwards into birth which was death and the whole love story tied in makes you just cringe but you can’t stop watching the train wreck.

If we could do it backwards, would we do it any better?

As someone who contemplated deep subjects and death being at the forefront (with all the what if’s and possibilities of the hereafter)- I find most people, and my former self(younger) seem to just live in different worlds according to their stage of life. Sometimes those words flash together but for the most part I think when we’re younger we do not ever realize that we will ever be a part of “that world” be it a young couple starting a family (as we’re looking at that stage from say, early adolescents) and then suddenly one day it just comes flying at us through some major life event- lifting the veil of separation and we start to ponder where we’ve been and where we’re going....

Most people can’t handle that, and they distract themselves in ways to shift the focus.

Those who do handle it probably end up places like ATS. Realizing that life is both a mystery to be solved and an adventure to be lived.

The remember the first time I cried over a death. It was over an execution, of all things. I used to fall asleep to the radio playing, and one newsbreak caught my attention , I was probably around 7-8- detailing the execution scheduled for midnight for such and such that had been on death row for so many years.... and for what it’s worth I had been pretty sheltered from death and pain, so realizing that that clock I was watching tick up to midnight- was another humans countdown to the end, had my young self weeping uncontrollably- yet knowing that it was irrational and that I could never tell anyone- this was a murderer on death row!

Some of us are just more in tune with “reality” I guess. I think it’s less learned and more innate. Great thread.

I do not fear death, only the physical pain and suffering that may lead to it and leaving people behind. We are far more than just a physical body and I believe that we go on to something else, something better after.

In between, we should live our lives with as much love, kindness and compassion as we can as our lives unfold.

Why do some people fear death?

“Death is the most terrible of all things; for it is the end.”​—Aristotle.

A woman was regarded by her peers as a pious woman, a true believer. Some even called her “a pillar of her church.” She was taught that death was not really the end but, rather, a passage to the afterlife. Yet, when her own death seemed imminent, she became overwhelmed by fear. Plagued by doubts, the woman asked her spiritual counselor, “There are so many [beliefs about what happens at death]; how do you know which is the right one?”

Virtually every religion and society has embraced the notion that humans continue to exist, or will exist again, after death. Among the many beliefs, which one is true? Many people doubt the existence of an afterlife altogether.

The fear of becoming nothing:

Researchers refer to the fear of death as “death anxiety.” In recent decades many books and scientific reports have been written on the topic. Still, most people prefer not to think about death. The reality of death, however, forces us to think about it sooner or later. Every human, without exception, is subject to death, and this reality is frightening to many.

Experts have classified death anxiety into various categories. These include the fear of pain, the fear of the unknown, the fear of losing loved ones in death, and the fear of the negative consequences that one’s death may have on survivors.

Prominent among those anxieties is the fear of ceasing to exist. Religious beliefs notwithstanding, the idea that death is the absolute end of life scares many people. And science adds fuel to this fear. After all, most functions of the human body can now be explained in scientific terms. Certainly no biologist, physicist, or chemist has ever found within us evidence of an invisible entity capable of surviving the death of the physical body. Hence, many scientists explain human death as merely a biological process.

It is no surprise, then, that many people who outwardly are devout believers in the afterlife may inwardly dread being reduced to nothingness at death. Interestingly, in his writings ancient King Solomon ascribed to human death a finality that some may consider frightening.

In the 3,000-year-old book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon wrote: “The living are conscious that death will come to them, but the dead are not conscious of anything, and they no longer have a reward, because there is no memory of them. Their love and their hate and their envy are now ended.” He added: “Whatever comes to your hand to do with all your power, do it because there is no work, or thought, or knowledge, or wisdom in the place of the dead to which you are going.”​—Ecclesiastes 9:5, 6, 10, The Bible in Basic English.

Solomon was inspired to say that “the fate of the sons of men and the fate of the beasts is the same. As is the death of one so is the death of the other . . . Man is not higher than the beasts . . . All go to one place, all are of the dust, and all will be turned to dust again.”​—Ecclesiastes 3:19, 20, The Bible in Basic English.

Although written by King Solomon, the above words were inspired by God and form part of his written Word, the Bible. These scriptures, along with many others in the Bible, do not support the popular belief that something inside us survives death to live on in another form. (Genesis 2:7; 3:19; Ezekiel 18:4) Is God then telling us that “dust,” or nothingness, is the ultimate end for all humans? Definitely not!

The Bible does not teach that any part of a human survives death. Yet, it does offer an unmistakably clear hope for those who die. The following article will show why you should not fear that death is the absolute end of human life:

Is Death Really the End? Awake!—2007

A FUTILE PURSUIT

On November 9, 1949, James Kidd, a 70-year-old copper miner, disappeared in the mountains of Arizona, U.S.A. Several years later, after he was declared legally dead, his pencil-written will was discovered, along with his investments worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. In his will Kidd stipulated that his money be used for research to find “some scientific proof of a soul of the human body which leaves at death.”

Soon afterward, over 100 purported researchers and scientists applied for the funds. There were months of court hearings and thousands of claims suggesting the existence of an invisible soul. Finally, the judge awarded the money to two reputable research organizations. Well over half a century later, those researchers have yet to produce “scientific proof of a soul of the human body which leaves at death.”

One Myth Leads to Another - Myth 1: The Soul Is Immortal