So my little sister stayed over last night

I know she has been going through her own issues lately and I always want to help guide her through them. At times I tell her to learn to deal with hem herself and that I can't help her. Other times I give her advice based on how I dealt with the similar issues.

But last night when she came over after work she left her straightener on and few combustibles laying perfectly atop it along with two D batteries.
I don't know how to bring this up? I have never dealt with this type of thing and I don't want to make it worse.

Can someone please give some advice on how to address this?

a reply to: Allaroundyou

man up and tell her be careful.

the sensitive issue of leaving her straightener on?



what do you mean by combustibles

originally posted by: yuppa
a reply to: Allaroundyou

man up and tell her be careful.

I don't think that is the problem here.

To give some background she is only 20yo and has zero social life outside of hanging with me and her other sister.
All she does is read books and watch youboob. She is on a lot of meds though I tell her those aren't the solution to problems.
I think she may be suicidal atm.

originally posted by: TinySickTears
the sensitive issue of leaving her straightener on?



what do you mean by combustibles

Things that go BOOM.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

i guess say hey. you left your straightener on last night

that will probably work

originally posted by: TinySickTears
a reply to: Allaroundyou

i guess say hey. you left your straightener on last night

that will probably work

I guess i'll try that.
I really have no other option.
My mom and dad are divorced and just give her a "safe space" that solves nothing.
They just throw money and pretend that all will be ok.....
They are blind to how the world actually works.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

She's either high or not so bright.

Just be straight with her. When I take my SSRIs people tell me when it's effing with my mind, I take heed and cut the dosage down.

I dunno the situation but a stern few words may help.

I bet she did it because you call her "So". Why would you call her So? Is that her name? If it is, I apologize.


JK

Sit her down and explain to her how leaving electrical devices energized in the presence of combustibles can and will burn the house down. You may have to be forceful to get her to understand. Good luck.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

From my perspective I would have said "What are you trying to burn the place down?" (I'm not really sure though how hot a "straightener" gets.)

a reply to: Allaroundyou

Having read your previous posts I know how much you care for your sister and involve yourself in her life, that you offer a safe place. She knows how much you love her and so you have a good solid foundation already there.

When it comes to safety then it must be discussed. Just state facts, but do it in a factual way. I think you will do fine.
One cannot ignore these situations and sometimes it make take a few reminders. You might also say put a personal slant on it which may deflect her taking anything too personally, if she is super sensitive, something like, "I always double check any time I work with dangerous (insert whatever item/situation) tools.

And yes, as Thecakeisalie said, anytime I am not behaving quite like myself (need an antidepressant boost/adjustment/hormonal) then my family knows to mention it to me so that I am aware I'm not operating as cognitively as I like, should. But then I am 53 and have learned to hear such criticism which keeps my family balanced.

You have taken on that role out of necessity and love so I think you are going to do just fine. Words and tone - just keep those in mind.

I really hope you find a solution for your sister. The problem is, you can’t see the invisible wall you have to get around to get through to her. You listed a few problems, and they all have roots in something. Being suicidal isn’t the problem. It’s evidence that your sister is looking for a solution, and is loosing or has lost hope. She needs encouragement and hope. At least that’s what I am thinking an answer is.

Hard to give advice over the interwebs without knowing you or her. In the military I had to deal with all sorts and some peeps responded better to tough love than sissy hugs. You gotta figure out which one she responds to. Sometimes you gotta take the tough road for their own sake, but most of all be honest about it. If you even suspect she is suicidal, get her help ASAP....don't pussyfoot around or else your next talk with her will be at her funeral. Talking form real-world experience here.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

I'm thinking others might not understand what you are saying.
I think I might understand a little.
It's little things that are off.
I'm going through something similar with my brother. I'm seriously worried about him.

I called and asked him if he was ok, he paused and said, .................good. In a weak voice.
To most this may not sound like anything. Just like your straightener issue. It bothered me and
There really isn't much I can do other than call him and tell him i'm thinking of him.

If you are honest about it... you know that even if you say something, that does not mean she won't do something stupid again.

She's struggling with a load you probably can not understand.

Entirely possible she has had a trauma, that you don't know about, or that she has not talked about, who knows.

Lot's of things can go wrong in life... even more so for gals.

Remember, "that which you resist persists." If you put her on the defensive, you can forget about her hearing your request for caution.

Put her straightener on a timer, lovingly ask her to please be more careful.

Take out insurance just in case. You will just have to try to watch over her a bit... but don't let her manipulate you emotionally. You can be loving and helpful, and still have boundaries that she has to respect.

Are you selfless? Or is that difficult for you, and you tend to be more self centered.

All these things are something to consider... GOOD LUCK!

originally posted by: Allaroundyou

I don't think that is the problem here.
To give some background she is only 20yo and has zero social life outside of hanging with me and her other sister.
All she does is read books and watch youboob. She is on a lot of meds though I tell her those aren't the solution to problems.
I think she may be suicidal atm.

Only 20yo?? At that age I was looking after a husband, and with a baby

and another on the way, budgeting on very little money (no benefits)


I'm sure you could find her a few youboob videos that will show the result

and what happens around heat and combustibles ?


It is my experience that tough love is more often better than walking on

egg shells. Treat her as an adult, taking responsibility for herself..... and

maybe she wont behave in such a childlike manner.

originally posted by: Allaroundyou
I know she has been going through her own issues lately and I always want to help guide her through them. At times I tell her to learn to deal with hem herself and that I can't help her. Other times I give her advice based on how I dealt with the similar issues.

But last night when she came over after work she left her straightener on and few combustibles laying perfectly atop it along with two D batteries.
I don't know how to bring this up? I have never dealt with this type of thing and I don't want to make it worse.

Can someone please give some advice on how to address this?

Lol, you claim that you run a business and deal with all this b.s in your life but you don't know how to tell your sis to unplug her crap???

😲

I'm not seeing the problem here...
"Hey, you left your straightener on and in contact with flammable items. That could start a fire and burn the house down."

originally posted by: Muninn

originally posted by: Allaroundyou
I know she has been going through her own issues lately and I always want to help guide her through them. At times I tell her to learn to deal with hem herself and that I can't help her. Other times I give her advice based on how I dealt with the similar issues.

But last night when she came over after work she left her straightener on and few combustibles laying perfectly atop it along with two D batteries.
I don't know how to bring this up? I have never dealt with this type of thing and I don't want to make it worse.

Can someone please give some advice on how to address this?

Lol, you claim that you run a business and deal with all this b.s in your life but you don't know how to tell your sis to unplug her crap???

😲

First off your an ass. Second I don’t run a business. I only help keep the wheels on.

originally posted by: Allaroundyou

originally posted by: Muninn

originally posted by: Allaroundyou
I know she has been going through her own issues lately and I always want to help guide her through them. At times I tell her to learn to deal with hem herself and that I can't help her. Other times I give her advice based on how I dealt with the similar issues.

But last night when she came over after work she left her straightener on and few combustibles laying perfectly atop it along with two D batteries.
I don't know how to bring this up? I have never dealt with this type of thing and I don't want to make it worse.

Can someone please give some advice on how to address this?

Lol, you claim that you run a business and deal with all this b.s in your life but you don't know how to tell your sis to unplug her crap???

😲

First off your an ass. Second I don’t run a business. I only help keep the wheels on.

Lol, I'm not the one who doesn't know how to say unplug it when you are finished with it.