Tell me something about yourself no one would believe

a reply to: DBCowboy


Mama always did like you best.

I am actually one of the worlds greatest vocalist!!!

And no one even knows my name

No joke

originally posted by: scraedtosleep
a reply to: olaru12

No joke. I became a planet once. My lungs were the oceans , my breath the waves.
I forgot for a time who I used to be.

It's the shaman's path...

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: DBCowboy


Mama always did like you best.

Would it kill you to pick up the phone every once in a while?

originally posted by: ManBehindTheMask
I am actually NOT as big of a jerk as some people online think i am!

You're right nobody believes that!

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: DBCowboy


Mama always did like you best.

Would it kill you to pick up the phone every once in a while?

Oh sure...Like you don't KNOW about the restraining order.

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: scraedtosleep

People from Walmart calendar.

Thank you for that good laugh.

It reminded me of my FIL,

Both my in laws were staying with us on vacation. We were getting ready to go out to eat.
My MIL said she was going downstairs to get beautiful.
Without missing a beat my FIL screams at the top of his lungs "SEE YOU IN TEN YEARS".

They were married over 50 years and that right there is pure true love!!

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: DBCowboy


Mama always did like you best.

Would it kill you to pick up the phone every once in a while?

Oh sure...Like you don't KNOW about the restraining order.

It's more of a "restraining suggestion".

But with handcuffs.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

That should do it.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I flew in a lot of Blackhawks when I was in the services. Went through Air Assault school, it was cool. Loved doing the Australian rappel. I did some pretty stupid things also.

originally posted by: JAGStorm




For all my LEGO Star Wars toys I got duplicates so I can play with them. And yes I still do.


Speaking of cops... here's one that most people don't believe.

I have never, not once ever, had a speeding or other traffic ticket.



Hey me neither. Never been stopped for any driving infraction.
Clean as a whistle in the regard, but on the other spectrum I did grow up in a college town and well I think you can put those pieces together lol

Oh, I've been stopped many times, I just have managed to talk my way out of them. I'll tell you a funny example:
I was pulled over for swerving all over the road. The cop pulled me over and asked me if I knew why I was being pulled over. I said yes and that I was sorry but my favorite song came on and I wanted to Jam to it and got carried away. I turned the radio up a bit, and He said Ok, be careful and sent me on my way.

To this day, my family wants me to get a ticket so I can stop bragging about not having a ticket!

Ugh.... Did I miss something or did you respond to yourself? How many JAGStorms are there? lol

a reply to: Starbuck799

That's the spirit!
Have a nice day Chuck Norris!

originally posted by: Subrosabelow
There's nothing interesting or unique about me personally, to be honest. Just a country girl that grew up in New Mexico.

A country girl who likes transformers!!!! Shockwave was my always my fave!


Honestly never thought I'd ever witness a woman who liked transformers. This is definitely a first and a mark on the calendar bucket list! lol

a reply to: StallionDuck

Ugh.... Did I miss something or did you respond to yourself? How many JAGStorms are there? lol

I was responding to Allaroundyou for some reason (probably my fault)
It quoted the whole thread instead of responding

a reply to: Starbuck799

I read that completely in Dr Evils voice.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I laugh when old people fall down and especially when young toddlers fall over (and am laughing while typing). My favourite was a time when I was picking up a nephew from his primary school and saw a girl of about six running then slip and slide about ten feet on gravel (I swear to Zod it was ten feet at least lol), she laid on the floor looked at her palms and then made what I can only describe as a bomb warning cry.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I am a prototype AI program tasked with tracking this disinfo agent's every move...

Disinformation Agent

a reply to: JAGStorm

I am the Hubba Bubba bubblegum blowing state champion of 1984-1986. I retired undefeated.
I still use that accolade to pick up women.

Once won a swimming competition, featuring tens of millions of competitors.