The difference between Russians and Americans

Hi ATS!

I recently registered for ATS, and as you can understand from my nickname, I am Russian. It's hard enough for me to communicate in an English-speaking forum, and this is not at all because of the difference in languages. The main difficulty is the difference in mentality. You and I perceive in absolutely different ways not only the world around us, but also our behavioral models, habits, moral principles, the concepts of justice, fairness, equality of rights, and much more. We in Russia lately often face similar problems for an unusual reason. After the collapse of our state into many fragments, many Russians left to live abroad and in particular to the USA. Attitudes toward these people in Russia are different. Some Russians believe that they emigrated for the "long dollar" and for the sake of "300 varieties of sausage", and the process itself - "sausage emigration." Many are sympathetic to this phenomenon, some with indifference.

The overwhelming majority of Russians consciously stayed in Russia in order to survive with their country all the difficulties, to be with their Homeland and in sorrow and in joy. But now an unusual phenomenon is happening in Russia. Many Russians who emigrated to Europe and the United States are returning home. This process has become so widespread that the Russian parliament began to discuss the question of how to allocate grants in the amount of 1 million rubles (about $ 15,000) to returning former compatriots for the first payment for a mortgage.

But there is a big problem. For many returnees from Western countries to Russia, the mentality has changed so much that it has become a problem for their social adaptation and an occasion for jokes in social networks. These people face the same problems as I am on the ATS forum - we are different. In order for us to find common ground, I want to translate and publish the post of my LiveJournal colleague, who analyzes the Facebook post of a single woman who returned after a lengthy immigration to the United States.

To many of you, this post will seem ridiculous, angry and ironic. But I hope that while reading you will throw off emotions and try to constructively discuss with me one thing: What should each of us do, how to change, to find a common language, get closer and eliminate confrontation?

Thank. Here is this post:
______________________

I read the revelations of a lady who has lived in the United States for many years, and now has returned to Russia, but already with American habits hooked up over the years. Describes your feelings. And yes, if you think she is unhappy - you think correctly. In general, I am somewhat surprised: she came and wrote her impressions - she is not happy about anything. Without exception, it is worse than in the United States. I did not understand: is she a masochist? Why did you come then? Here he writes:

“A smile is a necessary attribute for Americans. They try to smile all the time, even if they are sad.
When I arrived in Moscow, I continued to smile right and left on the machine for the first weeks, until I began to notice misunderstanding and sidelong glances in my direction.
People do not understand why you are smiling, and they think that something is wrong with you. If you do not want to seem crazy, then it is better not to skalte your teeth in all directions if you are thinking about Russia. ”

Good logic:

1. We in the US smile for no reason.

2. Russians see me smiling for no reason, and they look at me in surprise.

3. something is wrong with the Russians

Just check and check, nothing to argue. Further more interesting:

“The practice of yoga in America includes a certain way of life, the use of pure organic food, you need to be peaceful and focused, wear special clothes for Lululemon yoga and drink coconut water before practicing yoga. I enjoyed that way of life, and I really lacked that in Russia. ”

Yes, we here in Russia do not really understand yoga. But the main thing I already understood: without coconut water, there can be no yoga. And even without a particular brand of clothing. I wonder how yoga was done by those who invented it ...? They hardly had Lululemon clothing. I very much admit that in Russia it is very bad with “lyulelemon”. And with coconut water, without which yoga can not be.

And what, "to be peaceful and focused" without coconut water and "lulelemon" she can not? Yes, I see that in Russia she can’t do yoga ...

Go ahead:

“When I asked my colleagues what good places to go here at“ happy hours ”, they looked at me with expressions of complete bewilderment. There is no concept of "happy hours". In Russia, a completely different mentality. After work, people immediately rush home to cook dinner and be with their families; they can afford to drink with their colleagues only at special events and corporate events. Boredom! "

Oh, those Russians! .. They want such bad things to the family - how can that be ???

Let me tell you a secret: in Russia they do not “drink with their colleagues.” In Russia they go to the cinema, to the restaurant, to the bar, to visit, anywhere - not with colleagues, but with those with whom I want to spend time.

We can have colleagues, but it can be. Apparently, in the USA it is obliged to be colleagues.

Sorry, madam, bad news: apparently, in the USA, you were obliged to spend “happy hours” just because you are a colleague. There is no totalitarianism in Russia, people spend time with those with whom they want.

It seems that with you, madam, nobody wants - unless it is mandatory or inevitable. Awful country, I understand you.

“I am a super social person, and I have a lot of good friends from around the globe. I am proud of it. In the USA I got used every day to see people of various nationalities. Russians are white people. I would like to meet more people of different nationalities in order to revive the situation and broaden their views. ”

Forgive us that we did not bring slaves to us, so that it would be more interesting for you today. And that we are not a country of refugees or immigrants. We know that this is a terrible guilt and a terrible crime - forgive us for being so. In vain you, apparently, came to Russia - everything is wrong here!

“Americans like to speak loudly. In Russia, a loud conversation is a sign of pomposity and sounds like “show off,” especially if you practice it in public places. Here people do not like excess ears, as if someone is spying on them. Although who knows? However, watch your tongue. ”

Actually, madam, this is called "behaving decently." It is a pity that you did not explain to you in childhood.

But, of course, “who knows” - suddenly and really 150 million people without a break listen to evil uncles somewhere out there? Although ... Maybe they are listening - according to Snowden. From the United States can only be expected.

In short, I was impressed with the list of claims against Russia. He didn’t even know that we turned out to be so wrong.

What a crime: we are white! We do not yell in public places. We are in a hurry to the family. And we communicate with those who are pleasant to us, and not with those with whom it is "necessary."

What a nightmare! This is a direct challenge to the globalist world order! This is simply immoral - to behave this way! Putting a family above a corporation is incomprehensible to the mind! Do not drink coconut water !!!

What kind of country is this? Where did this lady go in general?
___________

a reply to: RussianTroll

Hi,

Interesting read on the cultural differences although I am not American (Scottish) I can relate to bits of both.

The one thing I have never understood that maybe you can answer...

Why on earth do Russians (well any Russian I have came across in my walk of life) seem to fail at understanding the concept of a queue?

originally posted by: XXXN3O
a reply to: RussianTroll

Hi,

Interesting read on the cultural differences although I am not American (Scottish) I can relate to bits of both.

The one thing I have never understood that maybe you can answer...

Why on earth do Russians (well any Russian I have came across in my walk of life) seem to fail at understanding the concept of a queue?

Interest Ask))

You probably did not communicate with those Russian. We also have a different upbringing. Personally, I always stand in a queue and place in a public transport place. But sometimes there are situations when a person is in a hurry and asks to skip it, sometimes there is a ham, sometimes an old person or a disabled person. I act then not according to the law, but according to justice. Others may do otherwise. But if you ask a Russian for something, we will always understand the situation and go forward.

a reply to: RussianTroll

It's normally on holiday that I experience this (at all inclusive bars) haha!

Should have given more context maybe

have you read Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky?

I find massive similarities in themes between Russia and America even though this was written in 1866.

I also believe that although valuable in some respects, generalising over nationalities does not show a complete picture. There is a sliding scale between 'west' and 'rest'. There is no gap. Haha, where have I read that before!

originally posted by: and14263
have you read Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky?

I find massive similarities in themes between Russia and America even though this was written in 1866.

I also believe that although valuable in some respects, generalising over nationalities does not show a complete picture. There is a sliding scale between 'west' and 'rest'. There is no gap. Haha, where have I read that before!

Dostoevsky is the greatest writer. But my favorite novel is Demons. Apparently because I am an Orthodox Christian.

a reply to: RussianTroll

You don't think that's conceited or arrogant to believe you know how Americans perceive the world?

The ignorance in that is astounding. Do you realize how diverse America is?
You can drive 30 minutes down the road and might as well be on a different planet with how different we can be from just one neighborhood to another.

How about we have discussions and find common interests first before we go making broad generalizations about each other.

originally posted by: watchitburn
a reply to: RussianTroll

You don't think that's conceited or arrogant to believe you know how Americans perceive the world?

The ignorance in that is astounding. Do you realize how diverse America is?
You can drive 30 minutes down the road and might as well be on a different planet with how different we can be from just one neighborhood to another.

How about we have discussions and find common interests first before we go making broad generalizations about each other.

You're right. I have never been to America and probably will not. Therefore, I am trying to communicate here. Of course, the Russians have prejudices against the Americans, just like you have regarding Russians. I think that the process of understanding is long. But the fact that he goes here is already good

Sounds like the lady you are speaking of was an east coast corporate thing person. There are so many differences in Americans from place to place it is hard to know what's what sometimes.

The smile thing is accurate though. It's mainly a female attribute. I have never understood that, but you see it everywhere, if female Americans are in a social situation they tend to smile. Even if they are talking about garbage, they will smile. Generally speaking.

originally posted by: Fools
Sounds like the lady you are speaking of was an east coast corporate thing person. There are so many differences in Americans from place to place it is hard to know what's what sometimes.

The smile thing is accurate though. It's mainly a female attribute. I have never understood that, but you see it everywhere, if female Americans are in a social situation they tend to smile. Even if they are talking about garbage, they will smile. Generally speaking.

Russians don't smile much because they are kind of sullen and inhospitable. Russians tend to protect their inner world, as we say "their soul," from random people. Russians do not open to everyone, but only to their trusted friends. But if you are a friend, then the situation is called cardinally, and you will see the full breadth of the “Russian soul”. For a friend, Russian is ready to give the last shirt)))

a reply to: RussianTroll

GREAT POST!!!!

Excellent observations!

I love these kinds of posts! Thank you for sharing!

Of all the countries I've been to, I have not been to Russia, but I would love to go to Russia. I would even like to live/work there. Russia is a fascinating country with a fascinating culture.

You are very correct about Americans being superficial. Many (many) Americans are. It is probably one of our greatest faults as I see it. Russians have a tremendous ability to face diversity in ways Americans simply refuse to accept. Instead Americans just complain. Oh, Russians complain too, but in a different way. It's not really complaining as much as just acknowledging the world they live in, daily life.

By the way, your English is excellent...especially for not speaking English, you write very well. And, I can tell you; Google translate cannot do nearly as well!! (or anywhere even close!).

My sister has her PhD in Russo-Turkish History, so I am familiar with many of your customs and mannerisms, but even so I am still and will always be an outsider. You hit the nail on the head with your statements about "smiling". It sums up much of the differences between the cultures on a variety of levels.

Thank you for your post, and please contribute more often. I look forward to your posts!

I do understand the cultural differences, yet your Avatar is well named.

a reply to: RussianTroll

One of my greatest pals is from Moldovia, but he is Russian. I believe one of his great great grand parents was a German Jew that moved to the area with a Russian bride some time ago. Or something like that. He has so many great stories about the way of life in Soviet times. I would tell some but would feel bad for telling someone elses tales. Regardless, they are great and his accomplishments are many - especially in the technical area.

I will tell one story, on his 40th birthday I went to his party. All of his Russian pals were there. All getting smashed and dancing and laughing and so on. It was definitely different than an American scenario of the same situation. The men were for more loud and jovial than American men in the same situation.

They also seemed to be able to hold their drinks a bit better than the average American male.

All the Russian gals were much more quiet and kind of observing more than anything. That seemed different as well. At American parties the women seem to want to be right in there talking # with the guys.

originally posted by: RussianTroll
The overwhelming majority of Russians consciously stayed in Russia in order to survive with their country all the difficulties ... But now an unusual phenomenon is happening in Russia. Many Russians who emigrated to Europe and the United States are returning home.

I'm not American, but I can input. Migration from Russia - especially of the educated and mobile - has been a problem for some time. c. 11 million Russians now live abroad. Arguably, the brain drain from Russia has allowed the degenerative politics and corruption in Russia to go unchallenged, alongside the control of the press and suppression of any worthwhile political opposition to the Putin train.

It might be that the Russians returning home are doing so because of reduced opportunities in the developed world, the impact of sanctions and general Western distrust, all as a direct result of Putin's policies and belligerence. The Russian media will paint this differently of course, as per the Putin script of Russiaphobia and victimhood, but opportunities in the economically stagnant and corrupt Russia are worse today that they were (say) five years ago.

a reply to: RussianTroll

The only Russian I've ever met was a US Marine reservist who was a firefighter at his regular job.

His family immigrated to the US when he was a kid. He got his full citizenship the proper way. His family lived out in the sticks in western Virginia.

This guy was a straight up country redneck with the cowboy boots and hat and a giant belt buckle. And a really thick Russian accent.

Really cool guy, but he was like some ridiculous cartoon character. It was awesome.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Thank! I am truly glad that you enjoyed it. Welcome to Russia))

I would not say that Americans are superficial. In my youth I read with pleasure John Steinbeck, Tedor Dreiser, Jack London and many others. I can appreciate the depth of American thought and feeling. Russians are more integrated and united as a nation, we have a big history, ancient traditions. But the Americans are ahead. It all depends on you.

About the language. I write through Google translator. My English is bad, unfortunately. You can talk a lot about languages. English is the language of information. It operates with simple expressions that are very well suited for conveying information. Russian, like all ancient languages, is a figurative language. More recently, each letter of the Russian alphabet meant not sound, but a whole word. We think in images, not in concrete terms. It is difficult to match.

With your sister can be interesting to talk. I was born and raised in a Soviet Muslim republic and I know the Turkic mentality very well)))

JFYI Most people in America, go home and have dinner with their families. We are not into the Happy Hour drinking crap. Most people cant afford it. But, if your single and dont have anyone at home, then the Happy Hour thing might be where you spend your evenings.

I find the "American smile" & expectation to do it, too, more than a little grating myself. I tend to just ignore people walking around like they've pounded a few glasses of wine & smirking over a private joke with themselves, though. You want to look the fool, knock yourself out. But don't get bossy and tell ME to smile, too, that's a great way to ensure I scowl or glare at you, Bossy McBossypants. You just do you, and mind your own business, okay?

Also, the "be best friends with people you work with" is equally annoying. I get that some folks make a good friend on the clock, but as my husband says, after spending 8+ hours with them, the last thing a normal person wants to do is get drunk with them for many more hours of unpaid "together time" when you're sick of looking at them/listening to them/putting up with them and just want to go home.

Frankly, I think it has a lot to do with not an expectation of friendliness, but is an extension of typical American excesses. In the case of "friends", it's lot like the Pokemon "gotta collect 'em all" tagline. Gotta pretend you're BFFs with everyone. Even if you're not. I think there's also a layer of wrangling an empty life to blame, too -- on the surface, a social butterfly would think innumerable friends is a sign of some kind of social success, but is more like a security blanket for psychological insecurity to them that they just don't want to admit.

As far as the lady complaining about the Yoga culture here, that's a load of crap. It's exercise at best, you don't need expensive clothes and coconut water to be toned and limber.

a reply to: RussianTroll

I think the place to start is America has always been a country that embraces individualism. While tribalism has been taking over and erroding that principle we were founded on, it still exists.

I've worked in corporate America, and do currently. Very rarely do we have times when we're obligated to come together outside of work. Some people choose to hang out with coworkers all the time, but notice I said choose.

My perception (and it may be wrong) is Russia has usually been a collectivism country. Whether hierarchy, communism, or an oligarchy, people tend not to rock the boat. You all do your daily grind and ask not want not.

All that said, it's impossible to dissolve such large countries comparatively in a few short paragraphs.

People tend to be more similar than different, no matter where they're from. The proof is that America is made up of every corner of the world.

originally posted by: Nickn3
I do understand the cultural differences, yet your Avatar is well named.

I specifically took such a nickname and avatar. If they start accusing me of being a troll, a hacker, a spy, etc., as is now common in the West, then I will answer that I am honest. I honestly showed it)))

Although, 99% of people do not know what a troll is and what the art of trolling is. You'd be surprised, but the first methods of trolling were shown 100 years ago by the Czech writer Karel Čapek in the book "Twelve methods of literary controversy or a Handbook on newspaper discussions." Unfortunately, I did not find it in English, so I give a link to the Russian translation.