Once again. . . I find myself at deaths door. . . . .

All y'all folks with "remedies" just don't understand. Don't get me wrong, I sure do like the sound of some of them and will probably try them out.

However, this is a near-death experience, him don't feel good, and everyone around him must be in mourning and sympathy. And attentive. Very attentive.

I have so much sympathy......for your wife. Just went through this with my husband. He was completely pathetic for days. He claimed that most people would have passed out from the muscle pain alone. He, in all seriousness, informed me that there is no way me having unmedicated childbirth three times......to babies with enormous heads could compare to the pain and discomfort he was feeling.

Please, do your wife a favor. Increase what ever life insurance you have. She has earned it.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Maybe it's vaginosas?

a reply to: Kentuckymama

Lol, you're a saint and he's lucky to be alive after all.

a reply to: Kentuckymama

My wife read your post.

And then hit me.


"Knock knock knockin' on Heavens' Door. . . . . . "

a reply to: The GUT

Yes. He's very lucky to be alive. I weighed the pros and cons of murder as I went into day #2 of man flu. In the end, his giant size won out. It would take me days to cut the body into small enough pieces for me to be able to transport to my body garden.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Please tell her that I send my sympathies. She is welcome to come stay with me until you stop being such a giant baby. My guest room is always open for her.

The best advice I can give you is shortly before bed take:

1 shot of Jameson
1 Mad Elf

If you can't get Mad Elf where you're at substitute with any strong ale 10% abv or better.

originally posted by: RomaSempre
The best advice I can give you is shortly before bed take:

1 shot of Jameson
1 Mad Elf

If you can't get Mad Elf where you're at substitute with any strong ale 10% abv or better.

You forgot to say repeat dosage every 30-60 minutes until desired results are achieved.

Let this journal be a guide for any man who befalls the same evil fate as I.


I just took some drugs. It was Alka-Seltzer.

I turned to my wife in the hopes of receiving some comfort and found her taking my wallet and muttering something about buying some Testosterone at Safeway.


I struggle to hang on.

Bahaha! You poor dear. Sure hope you survive.

a reply to: CriticalStinker

I am a bit of a light weight so no need to repeat the therapy.

I have faith you'll make it bud, hope you feel better DC!

Death came knocking on my door two weeks ago for reals. Had massive 100% blockage in my LAD(widow maker artery). Doc said I was lucky as hell to be alive and the worse blockage he'd ever seen. If you ever go to the ER and find yourself surrounded by a dozen people in a matter of a minute, it's a pretty damn good sign your in trouble. It's certainly been quite the ride.

originally posted by: RomaSempre
a reply to: CriticalStinker

I am a bit of a light weight so no need to repeat the therapy.

Cool, hook me up with your phone number, I'll pay top coin for a piece of your liver in a few years.

a reply to: DBCowboy

We may not see eye to eye on some issues DB but please don't die, especially if man flu, that wouldn't be appropriate for the great DBCowboy!

Flu eh?

Show it who's boss by smoking cigarettes. It's the way real men do it.

If you don't smoke, now is the perfect time to start! It's science....And Xmas is right around the corner.

a reply to: DBCowboy

G,day
u silly bloody galah
get the hand brake off that useless bloody tv channel
grab a carton of beer and a bottle of scotch
consume all the scotch and half the beer whilst watching westerns
try westerns on the web or utube and key in Joel McCrae in four faces west.
then go to bed and sweat yer guts out
the booze is kill or cure the western up very loud is to piss off the hand brake
failing the cure
take yourself outside and shoot yourself in the bloody foot
why
to relieve the bloody pain of course

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: JAGStorm

Is it the same thing if I have my wife go out and get Chinese food and a six pack of Chinese beer?

Just asking for a friend.

*cough*

Yes, you need lots of alcohol to kill the virus! Just like how a nurse uses an alcohol wipe, drinking alcohol is like applying an alcohol wipe to your insides. It's healthy. Just like being in a hospital.

originally posted by: The GUT
All y'all folks with "remedies" just don't understand. Don't get me wrong, I sure do like the sound of some of them and will probably try them out.

However, this is a near-death experience, him don't feel good, and everyone around him must be in mourning and sympathy. And attentive. Very attentive.

Yes. He must be laying down constantly and not move a muscle and be waited on hand and foot. That's just the bare minimum.

It's Karma.

And not the good kind.

I know the truth hurts, but amidst all your other suffering, you might not notice so much.