A Letter, from Ernest Brothers

To whom it may concern:

I am a father.

I was a "stay-at-home dad" from just shy of my daughter's first birthday until almost her fifth.

(I am – though free to follow my whimsy on account of, in a peculiar manner of speaking, "independently poor" material status [a sturdy basket woven by the auspicious hands of many helpful spirits], duly identifying Chiefly as an adventurer, but tending at times [unpredictably, I might add, and inconveniently to boot] – socially awkward. So I didn't leave the house much for a while.)

(I am still a father btw but now my ruminations and panic attacks occur in a cozy office. It's not a shrink's office or any public office; it is my office.)

It pleases me to storytell, but the bottom line is I wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world: I legitimately did my best and I cherish the bond I have with my daughter.

Nevertheless, "stay-at-home dad" is a euphemism; its corollary debate is a strawman.

It implicitly states: Fathers should not "stay-at-home"; they should "provide". By extrapolation, mothers should "stay-at-home" (corollary: ...only if they have material status to do so or are not motivated by membership and participation in the work-force).

It asks: At the very least -- granted that it normally wouldn't even be a matter of conversation -- is it permissible?

Meanwhile, elsewhere in this backward, nameless place, propaganda encourages portrayals of openly arrogant, defiant womanhood as the antithesis and antidote to manhood; under the banner of inclusiveness and love, it encourages gayhood, lesbianhood, and transhood while openly stigmatizing anything that embraces a traditionally masculine orientation, with several convenient modern attachments.

All this results in a confused young man (or two) being inundated with half-truths, foolish counsel, and popularly-approved deceit. But, trained as they are to distrust their own intuitions, they are effectively deaf, dumb and blind, walking a tightrope on every level.

Then, elsewhere, so that they can be seen doing conspicuous acts of charity, the same ones responsible for encouraging toxic femininity exploit this weakness, disability, disorientation, and hopelessness through the same media, and has plenty of nameless faces to hold up as proof of the mental health crisis for crying out loud. Get these people some HealthCare for Christ's sake - these chemical imbalances won't treat themselves!

Sadly, when this observation made, one is ridiculed into submission in a fashion akin to the recent "white tears" meme (you already control everything, didn't you know?) or patronized in coy, maternal tones about your "lack of education". (If, as I suspect, "education" is shorthand for "academic achievement", which is shorthand for "usefulness to backwards institutions", I humbly submit that I do lack education.)

There is no such thing as "stay-at-home moms" or "stay-at-home dads". There are moms and there are dads and there are their children and there are choices and there is life and there are ways of life.

Who is it that wants everyone to be distracted by this strawman? Pitchfork in its side or not, it won't betray its glassy stare or stupid smile. It’s not real.

If you are responsible for this truly gender-offending conspiracy against untold numbers of young men, please reconsider your ways.

Fraternally,

Ernest Brothers