Smile and your day will be better

It's antiquated and condescending "advice" at best that more often garners the exact opposite result the oh-so-seasoned advice giver thinks they'll get. Tell a heartbroken/sad/depressed person to cheer and and they'll feel better, and what do you think you're going to accomplish? Nothing other than making them feel worse. It's the same damn end result as telling an enraged person to calm down -- it's going to do precisely the opposite.

Age and personal experiences do not make wise blanket advice, that is such useless know-it-all ego stroking to cling to. Truly wise people never do that, and never speak before listening -- the wisest people I've ever known have always listened first, assessed, then offered a tailored conversational approach that may or may not include advice, depending on the situation.

Any person of any age can be wise by approaching every individual they come across not with condescending blanket advice, but by taking the time to LISTEN and observe/assess, before they bark advice that won't help without knowing the root cause first.

a reply to: Nyiah
I find it quite comical and ironic that as soon as someone has a sad face or is rude in public, it´s OCD or the one is suffering depression.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: Nyiah
I find it quite comical and ironic that as soon as someone has a sad face or is rude in public, it´s OCD or the one is suffering depression.

Homework time:

Assumptions are the mother of all ______


And here you are again, assuming things. No one said anything about OCD or whatever, but i'm starting to think you have some things to deal with, because you keep talking about very specific issues

And no i don't hate older people, but maybe you should think about the opposite of that, as you started looking after what i'm saying always trying to go the opposite way

a reply to: BoneSay

And here you are again, assuming things. No one said anything about OCD or whatever, but i'm starting to think you have some things to deal with, because you keep talking about very specific issues

Yet, you completely ignore everything else I write and assume your own assumption, that I assume. Look in a mirror ^^.

No one said anything about OCD or whatever, but i'm starting to think you have some things to deal with, because you keep talking about very specific issues

Reading comprehension again... On the top of this page, above my post it reads this:

originally posted by: Nyiah
It's antiquated and condescending "advice" at best that more often garners the exact opposite result the oh-so-seasoned advice giver thinks they'll get. Tell a heartbroken/sad/depressed person to cheer and and they'll feel better, and what do you think you're going to accomplish?

Yet here you are thinking it´s about you? You need to learn that if you do a thread people are going to have a conversation between each others, without you in between, most often. It´s not your thread as in the sense of, everything that is posted or written there, is addressed towards you or against you. You don´t get to say what others can post or not.

Do you do that in real life, too? Sounds like you would make a great dictator.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: BoneSay

And here you are again, assuming things. No one said anything about OCD or whatever, but i'm starting to think you have some things to deal with, because you keep talking about very specific issues

Yet, you completely ignore everything else I write and assume your own assumption, that I assume. Look in a mirror ^^.

No one said anything about OCD or whatever, but i'm starting to think you have some things to deal with, because you keep talking about very specific issues

Reading comprehension again... On the top of this page, above my post it reads this:

originally posted by: Nyiah
It's antiquated and condescending "advice" at best that more often garners the exact opposite result the oh-so-seasoned advice giver thinks they'll get. Tell a heartbroken/sad/depressed person to cheer and and they'll feel better, and what do you think you're going to accomplish?

Yet here you are thinking it´s about you? You need to learn that if you do a thread people are going to have a conversation between each others, without you in between, most often. It´s not your thread as in the sense of, everything that is posted or written there, is addressed towards you or against you. You don´t get to say what others can post or not.

Do you do that in real life, too? Sounds like you would make a great dictator.

So boring, i don't know if i even care at this point

I replied to your comment because i had an opinion on it, can you handle it or nah? I made my comment and clearly talked about what i think, about what you said which by the way again makes no sense at all

I never said anything about the thread being about me, this is you again showing up with some issues of your own.

Looks like you can't get it, maybe you need a "safe space"?

Don't get "triggered" please

Did you, or did you not address me when you said:

@OP

why do you hate old people?

Have you forgotten about it? owwww

And also, you are wrong, like i said, being old doesn't make you wise, if you were stupid when young, you'll just be a stupid old person, nothing will change just your dumb entitlement issues

So yes, not every old people are wise, and not every wise people are old

And what's what about "You need to learn that if you do a thread people are going to have a conversation between each others" On a public forum lmfao

If i were like you, i would be screaming dumb things about why you comment on my thread lol. Now you are complaining like a self entitled old guy about why i comment on your posts and not let you be right foreverandeverandever and all that LMFAO

Do you wan't me to go away because you are not happy with me commenting on what you say??? Are you trying to run away from what i say? "Safe Space" again? LMFAO!

By the way Nyiah i think knows it right, no fake feelings there or forced stuff to fit

a reply to: BoneSay
Again you´re all over the place... But you got triggered because I asked you a loaded question.

Ask yourself why I did this. Maybe it was to show you, that you are close minded? Please try to talk like an adult and not like a little baby with all your "owws" and such stuff.

I don´t need a safespace nor am I triggered. I see you as a spoiled young brat that still needs to learn how to engage in a normal conversation without making animal sounds.

I understand you are a young person with overwhelming feelings. Just wait until you get out of your teenager stage, you will absolutely cringe at the mental diarrhoe you leave in most of your posts. IMHO.

And the best is, it´s there for everyone to read. You seem to be the one who needs safe spaces. You defend being emotionally hurt over using logic.

Do you think that elderly women said it to rile him up or do you think she ment it honestly good, wanting to make his day a bit better?

For godsake, you have a twisted mind, may god have mercy with your soul.

Edit: And stop messing around in your post AFTER I replied to you, it´s dishonest and sly.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: BoneSay
Again you´re all over the place... But you got triggered because I asked you a loaded question.

Ask yourself why I did this. Maybe it was to show you, that you are close minded? Please try to talk like an adult and not like a little baby with all your "owws" and such stuff.

I don´t need a safespace nor am I triggered. I see you as a spoiled young brat that still needs to learn how to engage in a normal conversation without making animal sounds.

I understand you are a young person with overwhelming feelings. Just wait until you get out of your teenager stage, you will absolutely cringe at the mental diarrhoe you leave in most of your posts. IMHO.

And the best is, it´s there for everyone to read. You seem to be the one who needs safe spaces. You defend being emotionally hurt over using logic.

Do you think that elderly women said it to rile him up or do you think she ment it honestly good, wanting to make his day a bit better?

For godsake, you have a twisted mind, may god have mercy with your soul.

Edit: And stop messing around in your post AFTER I replied to you, it´s dishonest and sly.

stop being lame, who cares about dumb loaded questions, if you have to look for things like that to make your life interesting then you are way off from where you should be

how boriiiiing!

anyway i have to get to school have a nice day

i did not even go past that that "loaded question" thing because it said all i needed to know, you don't have much else to say that brings interesting things so lets fake it

no thanks, i know better conversation than this. be direct and honest and if that you can't do then you are missing experience in life

have to get to school now, see you around maybe

saying you had loaded question is probably the lamest thing i have heard ever on this site.

Spasibo

In future I´ll just ignore your posts, I promise. Please go on with your overall behavior, hate, rudeness and ridiculing, here and also in real life.

For someone who has not accomplished much besides preparing yourself for life, you are a pretty bold person. With that attitude, you´ll have a hard time.

Maybe try to pick up some humbleness, because you´re not the big achiever you think you are. I´ve sorted out dozens of people like you during interviews.

They are always troublemakers in terms of being poison for a friendly work environment. Your stance on homework also clearly shows you just can be bothered for minimum work.

And you want to become a good engineer? I hope you will wake up to reality before you get yourself into debt becoming an "I know everything"-engineer.

Coming from an electronics engineer who worked in robotics and artifical intelligence at a company that is a key-player in this field, world wide.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: Nyiah
I find it quite comical and ironic that as soon as someone has a sad face or is rude in public, it´s OCD or the one is suffering depression.

I find it telling that you think you are the be all, end all of manners & interactions. You have no idea what is in someone's head and you have no idea what constitutes a simple bad day or an ongoing beast to wrangle for someone. Without knowing, you're in no place to tell someone to cheer up or get over something.

You speak of growing up, but I don't think you've done much of it yourself. Having bred and watching your offspring breed doesn't get you ahead here. Your opinion is not superior by default, so stop putting someone else down because you disagree. The point of the thread was unwanted & counterproductive advice to strangers, not Ver's Rigid Opinion on Strangers' Mindset or Personality.
Until you grasp that, you'll never be as wise as the people I've known who tailor their approaches to others based on assessing them first.

Bone is correct, assumption is no friend to you, it makes you look arrogant. You're doing a bang-up job of making yourself look more self-centered than you accuse her of being.

a reply to: Nyiah

So you find it okay to just label someone mentally ill because you diagnosed that person over the internet, out of someones story as depressive or in that other case, OCD?

That´s okay for you apparently. And you also called my family a "breed". Well done.

And you applaud the rude and obnoxious behavior coming from BoneSay towards everyone she disagrees with? It is YOU and BoneSay who are assuming others are mentally ill because they have a slow day or looking sad to someone on public transport?

And I´m the one that is "assuming"? Are you both out of your mind?

Telling someone to "smile" when they're in a very bad place really does nothing. Sure, maybe if they just had a rough day at school or work, a meaningful smile might just do it. Maybe.

I can give my own experience though. It does nothing but make me feel like you just patronized me and have no desire to actually understand what is wrong.

After my youngest was born, I slipped into a post-partum depression that sent me spinning into something I had never experienced before. The mood swings were sudden and extreme and some of the thoughts drifting in and out of my head terrified me. Thoughts of suicide were not far off at times. It reached a point where I isolated myself because I just couldn't deal with others without tears or anger. When I finally broke and went to the one person I hoped would understand (husband) I got a pat on the head and told to cheer up. That things weren't that bad. Yep. That TOTALLY fixed it. The sun came out and it was like magic.

Yeah... no.

I'm sure someone will point out going to the doctor. Tried that. Got told that it was stress because of being a new mom, having a little one to juggle, and older ones to wrangle, hormones, blah blah and it would even out once things had settled.

What did happen was realization that I was on my own for this ride. Suck it up and keep it tucked away. Fake it until it sticks.

Goodness knows we get told to smile often enough at work, even if we're just about to break. Problem is, a fake smile is hellaciously easy to spot. It doesn't even come close to reaching your eyes and looks so brittle. Sure doesn't make ya feel any better either.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: Nyiah

So you find it okay to just label someone mentally ill because you diagnosed that person over the internet, out of someones story as depressive or in that other case, OCD?

That´s okay for you apparently. And you also called my family a "breed". Well done.

And you applaud the rude and obnoxious behavior coming from BoneSay towards everyone she disagrees with? It is YOU and BoneSay who are assuming others are mentally ill because they have a slow day or looking sad to someone on public transport?

And I´m the one that is "assuming"? Are you both out of your mind?

Yes, you're assuming. Where did I say someone is mentally ill? I did not, you are ASSUMING that. I said assess them first, as an individual, to tailor how you approach them instead of plying them with unwanted advice or blanket advice. If you think this is medical in any sense, you're clearly not someone in any position to ever give advice to others. You can't even differentiate between the basic "stop, look, listen" approach to people, or doing something in a clinical medical capacity.

And yes, "bred" and "breed" are the proper terms to describe your family line multiplying itself. Triggered much? Jesus Christ.

a reply to: Subrosabelow

I suffered from heavy depressions after my wife died and the years before, my son-in-law in a car accident that nearly wiped out his wife and daughter that both now live with me. And this is the reason why I find it aweful if the term depression is used to diagnose someone over the internet, out of a story/telling someone else wrote there. Because someone had a slow day or looks sad.

That´s two layers of assumption before the internet armchair psychologists even try to analyze.

And in defense of the elderly women, she probably just wanted to make him smile for good, how can she, you or anyone else know or expect that someone is depressive? Do you expect everyone who looks unhappy to be depressive?

This walking on eggshells everywhere is becoming ridiculously overblown.

You don´t want to hear this as much as I wanted to hear it but you seriously should to get help. By that I mean counseling and not prescription drugs. You should also talk to your husband again as he is the person in your life you should be able to trust the most.

Talk to him about this. Be straight forward and don´t talk around the issue. Btw, such negative feelings are totally normal to a certain degree. Don´t depress yourself because you were bordering at the level what is bearable.

With great respect,
verschickter.

a reply to: Nyiah

Yes, you're assuming. Where did I say someone is mentally ill? I did not, you are ASSUMING that.

Tell a heartbroken/sad/depressed person to cheer and and they'll feel better, and what do you think you're going to accomplish?

Well, in my country and the translator I use, the word we use for depression is defined as mental illness. Being mentally ill can happen temporary. Depression is an illness I know first hand.

So yes, you did. But to be fair, you also used two other terms.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: Nyiah

Yes, you're assuming. Where did I say someone is mentally ill? I did not, you are ASSUMING that.

Tell a heartbroken/sad/depressed person to cheer and and they'll feel better, and what do you think you're going to accomplish?

Well, in my country and the translator I use, the word we use for depression is defined as mental illness. Being mentally ill can happen temporary. Depression is an illness I know first hand.

So yes, you did. But to be fair, you also used two other terms.

And in English, "depressed" can refer to both diagnosed Major Depression, and temporary depression/blues, as well as an economic period.

There are nuances to the language, yes, but it is not my fault you assumed.

Maybe you should have made that distinction when you overgeneralize such a term.

But I get it, in todays victim mentality world, having a bad day is seen as depression.

originally posted by: verschickter
Maybe you should have made that distinction when you overgeneralize such a term.

But I get it, in todays victim mentality world, having a bad day is seen as depression.

No, I do not need to make that distinction, native speakers and MOST bilinguals get the idea that words in English have multiple definitions, and multiple words can define the same thing, and where to make distinctions between them. You did not, that's not my problem.

But to sum up your gripe, "I've been legit depressed before, quit whining!" Not how it works. You've been depressed before? Well, ultimately, so what. It doesn't make you an expert on how to interact with other people. You couldn't even take the time to approach Subrosa's comment with any deeper understanding of her, just flung advice out there. Nice job, I'm sure that helped.

Maybe your own depression isn't handled as well as you think & reflects via how you interact with others.

But to sum up your gripe, "I've been legit depressed before, quit whining!" Not how it works.
...
Maybe your own depression isn't handled as well as you think & reflects via how you interact with others.

More internet doctory from you

I didn´t wrote anything I quoted from you above. I wrote that a having a bad day is not depression. But sure, make up some more lies that you interpret into my words


If it makes you happy and satisfies your ego, go for it.

originally posted by: verschickter

But to sum up your gripe, "I've been legit depressed before, quit whining!" Not how it works.
...
Maybe your own depression isn't handled as well as you think & reflects via how you interact with others.

More internet doctory from you

I didn´t wrote anything I quoted from you above. I wrote that a having a bad day is not depression. But sure, make up some more lies that you interpret into my words

If it makes you happy and satisfies your ego, go for it.

You don't need to write the exact words to express the sentiment, we got the idea quite clearly when you pointed out your own depression history. You were/are depressed, that apparently warrants being taken more seriously than someone else who is/may be. How selfish.

a reply to: Nyiah

Again, I cleary state that´s not what I´m saying or wrote but yet you keep pushing that lie on me.

Hugs and kisses,
verschickter