What is missing in idea of marriage

i would like to make a thread about bermuda triangle of some sort.

ok. i have this mom who wants me to be married to the degree of obsession. i have those guys who never fit in. And i have this fact there is this institution of marriage, i didnt invent and yet it doesnt much matter to me other than my mom's endless demands if i should be married or not yet i try to meet that person if such a thing will ever be possible to make her happy and maybe myself if there is any point in her obsession.

yet there is no success. it is seems like an endless loop of loss.

what am i missing i want to understand.

This may or may not help. Tell your ma that if she was praying for you hard enough you would already be married.

Right back at you, ma.

; )

Sal

a reply to: Damla

Outwardly ....yea. In a get even sort of way, but in the end that is only throwing fuel on the fire. Now you have hesitation and insult to overcome .



a reply to: SallieSunshine

It's a crazy idea to force somebody into marrying = living with someone under pressure.

You will undoubtedly make the wrong decision if you follow your mother's pressure. Also you will ruin your own life because you will feel the need to stay with the wrong man because of your mother's pressure.

I suggest you show your mother modern marriage statistics.

a reply to: Damla

Even a marriage made from two people who happen to meet and develop deep affection for one another, is not guaranteed to last. So forcing one, surely will be a recipe for problems. Especially if it is not something you want at this point in your life. Regret, resentment, animosity...

your mother is attached to old traditions, it seems. Don't destroy your own happiness by allowing those things to control you.

Never get married FOR someone else...

a reply to: SallieSunshine

i tried that with my aunts. sharing the similar obsession. outwardly towards mom i said ' hey if they were praying good enough i d be married already'

it didnt work. since she also heard that

a reply to: and14263

i always tend to think my mom always has a point in what she thinks. it must be something i am dont understand yet.

a reply to: Parishna

she is divorced herself too. if she is still insisting maybe there is something i should try.

a reply to: Damla

make sure you like the person you intend to marry. Sex is temporary, so you will have to be able to talk and enjoy things other than sex at some point.

a reply to: Damla

Tell her to mind her own damn business.
Seriously.

If you allow someone to pressure you into doing something then that's on you.
Stand up for yourself

a reply to: Damla

Seriously ask your mother if she prefers you hurry up and get married to only end in divorce. Would that satisfy her?

originally posted by: Damla
i would like to make a thread about bermuda triangle of some sort.

ok. i have this mom who wants me to be married to the degree of obsession. i have those guys who never fit in. And i have this fact there is this institution of marriage, i didnt invent and yet it doesnt much matter to me other than my mom's endless demands if i should be married or not yet i try to meet that person if such a thing will ever be possible to make her happy and maybe myself if there is any point in her obsession.

yet there is no success. it is seems like an endless loop of loss.

what am i missing i want to understand.

How do YOU feel about it? Do you want to be? Lonely? Not?

Then, ask her point blank if it's because she wants grandkids to spoil. I'll bet you cash that's a serious motivation right there.

a reply to: Damla
Is she like this mother?

Read up about Mothers In Law (even if it is your own mum, this is a close hit anyway):

Reddits Sub: Just No MIL

a reply to: Damla

I understand. I think there have been times that I've thought that I could do it when I was with the right person, but that feeling didn't really stick around.

I'm about 30 now, my Mom is having a hard time understanding that I'm not really actively trying to find "the one".

a reply to: wylekat

i want to understand it in grand scheme of things. it dont really mean a thing if i am married or not.but she and how it unfolds each time makes me question it far too often than needed.

I don't worry about it because I consider it a matter of fate (I've never been married, either). If you are meant to get married you will meet the person you are supposed to marry. Is there room for the concept of fate in your mom's worldview?


Sal

a reply to: Damla

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: wylekat

i want to understand it in grand scheme of things. it dont really mean a thing if i am married or not.but she and how it unfolds each time makes me question it far too often than needed.

I think you have to find yourself before you can find who is compatible with you. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: and14263

i always tend to think my mom always has a point in what she thinks. it must be something i am dont understand yet.

It's not easy to admit but perhaps your mum isn't correct in 100% of her opinions? For example - you're waiting to understand why she is pressuring marriage onto you - but you will never understand because she is wrong.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: Damla

Seriously ask your mother if she prefers you hurry up and get married to only end in divorce. Would that satisfy her?

It is for this simple premise I believe this thread will not develop.