Porn Addiction

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with porn, the only problem is some of the people who watch it and who get a little weird with it like not liking real female's or not being able to get hard unless they are watching porn.

All my friends watch porn and look at porn on a regular basis (not daily, but like once every few days or once a week). Or they are doing is satisfying their urges and all of them lead normal and productive lifes.

My personal opinion on pornography is that I don't like it, it's not because of moral or ethical reasons it's because it's not real and there is no emotion or feeling. I also find girls on pornography unnattractive because they aren't a real presence.

I am not a weirdo or anything, I like sex as much as any other human being however I like it only REAL.

I prefer the women I see everyday around me in my life to any pornographic star or film because there is so much more substance there IMO.

I don't really care for those who denounce porn either, most of the time it's none of their business, porn is usually a private thing between a single person, a couple and the screen. If you don't like it, don't use it.

thanks,
drfunk

Im the biggest hypocrite when it comes to porn and tend to agree with all sides of the board i.e. those for and those against.

Firstly though i think the addiction lies mainly in the orgasm but i don’t rule out the idea that some people might just be addicted to porn itself.

Secondly i would say that more men are addicted to masturbation while viewing porn then women, although i could be wrong, but i doubt it. In my experience most women prefer more subtle sexual contexts then full on hardcore even though it’s true that some women enjoy porn with their men.

Thirdly for the most i would agree that yes porn can be a problem between a couple in a relationship, for various reasons. Probably the most common being that the women just doesn’t like the idea of her man jacking off over other women.

Internet porn is a treacherous business because it’s free. What i found after consulting a few wankers was, that the girl they downloaded last night, then jacked off over, isn’t good enough the following night because they want something new. This tends to lead them into a continuous quest for the next best thing taking up hours of their time surfing the thousands of free galleries online. I think it would be prudent to say that internet porn is addictive because its free and easily available, where as porn videos and mags have to be obtained more physically by attending a shop, unless you get it by mail.

But then the mailman knows... Thanks Kode you resopnded greatly to the topic and I want to than everyone that kept a mature level to talk about something so taboo. I would like to move the conversation forward now and change the title to:

Successful Strategies for Stoping Internet Porn Adiction

Can we discuss what stratagies individuals can take to actually cease and desist from Internet Porn. Let's limit it to internet porn, since one, that's where I get all my porn and two, based on Kode's response we can see that many of the porn addictions out there are soley internet porn based.

Well personally I find internet porn rather boring. So I guess the stratgy would be to let it run its corse. And to respond to a previous post, no porn is any substitute for the real thing. So I guess I will let people take it from there and draw any conclusion they wish from the statment.

I think the numbers are more like 95% of guys look at porn on at least an occasional basis (excluding those who looked once)...and 98% are on the road to abuse. Out of that would come about 60% of the guys eventually or are addicted to porn.

Let's look at some basic facts. The way guys are generally wired: by sight, and they have the constant urge to procreate, whether or not they act on it. Gir;s are mor einterested in the way things are said or done to them. (Suprisingly, you can go to the Bible for ways to talk to a woman about sex in the effort to turn them on: "Song of Solomon," Old Testament....it's rather ....descrpitive talk between Solomon and one of his wives. Women do like the poetic, not the dirty talk. Here)


As to ways to stop porn addiction:

Several things:
Specifically those who are of the Christian faith (or any faith envolving prayer). Have you taken the time to pray every time you have the urge? Do you even understand the power of prayer? The whole thing about Christianity is that you believe you have a God you can lean on, and yet you do not?

For married couples in Christianity, or those who find it a good idea outside of the faith: Those who are married are are directly commanded to NEVER abstain from each other, except fpr mutual consent (as in a time of prayer and fasting).

1 Corinthians 7:1-9 1 Now [I will discuss] the things you wrote to me about. It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But sexual sin is a danger. So each man should have his own wife. And each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband should give his wife all that she should have as his wife. And the wife should give her husband all that he should have as her husband. 4 The wife does not have power over her own body. Her husband has the power over her body. And the husband does not have power over his own body. His wife has the power over his body. 5 Don't refuse to give your bodies to each other. But you might both agree to stay away [from sex] for a time. You might do this so that you can give your time to prayer. Then come together again. This is so that Satan (the Devil) cannot tempt you in your weakness. 6 I say this to give you permission [to be separated for a time]. It is not a command.

You are commanded to procreate, but you have permission to seperate. Frequent sex leaves les desire for porn.

DO things to prevent you from having easy access to porn. Create a command account for your computer and start denying access to your favorite pornsite for all users and DO NOT USE THAT ACCOUNT. Over time, if will be harder to find porn, so you lessen your time looking at it, if not for it.

Keep yourself busy: Start looking up the headlines for news stories, and related stories in search, for ATS never ending drive for news. Believe me, 2-4 stories a day will give you little time to look at porn.

Every time you get the urge to look, chant "I will not look at porn" in a stressed out huddled balll until you gain control of yourself.

Go to a mirror every morning and tell your reflection that you will not look at porn today. May not stop the whole process, but eventually, it does help.

GET MARRIED. And STICK TO IT, even when it's hard.

LOOK FOR A SUPPORT GROUP.

Set up a chart of where you went today online, and WRITE DOWN every single site you went to, and circle the one's that were a waste of your time. Believe me, even the small things help.

Originally posted by jlc163
I think the numbers are more like 95% of guys look at porn on at least an occasional basis (excluding those who looked once)...and 98% are on the road to abuse. Out of that would come about 60% of the guys eventually or are addicted to porn.

Let's look at some basic facts. The way guys are generally wired: by sight, and they have the constant urge to procreate, whether or not they act on it. Gir;s are mor einterested in the way things are said or done to them. (Suprisingly, you can go to the Bible for ways to talk to a woman about sex in the effort to turn them on: "Song of Solomon," Old Testament....it's rather ....descrpitive talk between Solomon and one of his wives. Women do like the poetic, not the dirty talk. Here)


As to ways to stop porn addiction:

Several things:
Specifically those who are of the Christian faith (or any faith envolving prayer). Have you taken the time to pray every time you have the urge? Do you even understand the power of prayer? The whole thing about Christianity is that you believe you have a God you can lean on, and yet you do not?

For married couples in Christianity, or those who find it a good idea outside of the faith: Those who are married are are directly commanded to NEVER abstain from each other, except fpr mutual consent (as in a time of prayer and fasting).

1 Corinthians 7:1-9 1 Now [I will discuss] the things you wrote to me about. It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But sexual sin is a danger. So each man should have his own wife. And each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband should give his wife all that she should have as his wife. And the wife should give her husband all that he should have as her husband. 4 The wife does not have power over her own body. Her husband has the power over her body. And the husband does not have power over his own body. His wife has the power over his body. 5 Don't refuse to give your bodies to each other. But you might both agree to stay away [from sex] for a time. You might do this so that you can give your time to prayer. Then come together again. This is so that Satan (the Devil) cannot tempt you in your weakness. 6 I say this to give you permission [to be separated for a time]. It is not a command.

You are commanded to procreate, but you have permission to seperate. Frequent sex leaves les desire for porn.

DO things to prevent you from having easy access to porn. Create a command account for your computer and start denying access to your favorite pornsite for all users and DO NOT USE THAT ACCOUNT. Over time, if will be harder to find porn, so you lessen your time looking at it, if not for it.

Keep yourself busy: Start looking up the headlines for news stories, and related stories in search, for ATS never ending drive for news. Believe me, 2-4 stories a day will give you little time to look at porn.

Every time you get the urge to look, chant "I will not look at porn" in a stressed out huddled balll until you gain control of yourself.

Go to a mirror every morning and tell your reflection that you will not look at porn today. May not stop the whole process, but eventually, it does help.

GET MARRIED. And STICK TO IT, even when it's hard.

LOOK FOR A SUPPORT GROUP.

Set up a chart of where you went today online, and WRITE DOWN every single site you went to, and circle the one's that were a waste of your time. Believe me, even the small things help.

I know they discourage quoting such a large post but you really have had the best posting in this whole thread. Not only do I commend all those who have posted with maturity and insight but I applaud those who have participated in a subject deemed taboo and too personal to talk about by many. I hope those many who have viewed this and not posted have gained something from it, I myself have gained a lot.

For this last thread I am giving my WATS vote to you. This is not only insightful, on point, but inspiring. I will take these words to heart, share them with my wife and hopefully be able to move on into a new chapter in my life. Thank you so much!

Thanks, hun!

The problem with keeping things taboo is that it quickly snowballs into a major problem that requires a lot fo therapy, money, and often people's lives, because of not wanting to open you bloody mouth, lol.....

How many of you can say you've ever had frank conversations with yor parents about sex? I get one of those types of convos about once a year. It kept me cleibate until I was 21.....I mean, to the point of my first kiss being at 19. I don't think anyone would have realised I was a nympho until it was too late (you know, the having kids when you are still a kid yourself issue).

I don't think there would be as many priests who have molested childred inf they had been allowed at least to be able to talk to one another for support without having the risk of being ejected from their position.

I used to date a guy that I "claimed" was addicted to porn. I would always find tapes and mags hidden around the house. I would get so pissed
Well, it's a few years later, I now realize it was because I was insecure with MYSELF. I thought, why would you want to look at another woman other than me, you must think she looks better than me.....bla,bla.
These were all feelings I actually had. These feelings caused many problems in our relationship....the porn just gave me an excuse for my own insecurities. Once I dealt with them, I realized porn actually has nothing to do with most of the problems in realtionships. Hell......I'm a female, and I LOVE porn!! Watching it with someone, by myself....whatever, I dig getting off to it.
It's even the name of my band......GIRLS LIKE PORN!!!

Wow, sounds very releasing to go from that to this. My ex girlfriend of 2 years would get SO angry if she found porn which she did 2wice. It was like the 'END' of a relationship which we would have to start again over if I promised to not need porn and only her.

I think you bring to light the issue that women are in some circumstances against porn because they fight it as if it is competition. Others yet say it is offensible to the dignity and social image of women. Or even deeper it objectifies the 'woman' in the mind of a man so that when he sees women they are now mere objects.

I think males do have problem with addictions to porn though. When you can't stop something you want to , just to try to stop - not even because you think it's sooo wrong, but you can't? That's a sign of dependency which is addiction.

Can you send me Mp3 of your band?

Yeah, women have alot of problems like your girl had, simply because it is like competition in the mindset of most. You have these totally hot women having sex, and most women are just like.....god, she's so much more beautiful than I am, but you can't admit that to your man, so you pine it off on him saying that he thinks she looks better than you. It's terrible!!
It's why women are running out getting boob jobs, trying to be the ultimate male fantasy.....to make themselves feel better. Well, that's fine and dandy, I don't judge, but you have to get to the real problem.
Hell, after we broke up...I lost like ten pounds, I realized how good I looked, and was able to watch porn and enjoy it because I knew I looked just as good as any of the women in the movie. Porn is not the competition--we are with ourselves. You have to have confidence in yourself....not for anyone else....then u can see the beauty in porn.

Personally, I say # what society says about women. Women are beautiful, and sexuality is natural. So what if a woman wants to give a #ing blow job on camera.....it's sexy! I know I get aroused, and i like that feeling. As long as she's not forced....what's the big deal?!? Society has made sex taboo.....but at the end of the day, I don't give a # who you are, you vividly think about something sexual. and that's OKAY!
We all masturbate....and if it were up to me it would be at least twice a day!!
Now, if it becomes you, just like any other drug....you then have a problem.

Unfortuately I don't have any recordings on this pc, I will get some...and send it to you. Girls Like Porn rule!!!!

I've never known anyone who is addicted to porn. It's prefered to have it around but you dont get withdrawl symbtoms or anything if you dont have it. Sex on the other hand might be different for some. I'm referring to actual tangible porn, whatever you have in your imagination is completely different issue. Didn't a study say that men think sex like every 10 minutes or something? That could be classified as 'mental porn'.

I know a girl who was heavilly addicted to porn, she used a dial-up connection to paysites, the telephone company cut off her line to protect her, she couldn't pay all those bills.

she was a late-blooming virgin and was haunted by the desire to get laid, one of my buddies met her in a chatroom and helped her out, they now live two blocks away from me.

Personally i've always been more of a druggie than porn-addict as appetizer as I feel the male orgasm doesn't last very long (envy some of those multi-orgastic females in this respect),
however with some combinations of substances I get to feel like getting a blowjob for a couple of hours, you know just belowe the ejaculation treshold wich is perfect, the problem with wanking is, once the feeling buildsup REAAAALLY good, you can't stop or slow down, you squirt and funtime is over...

As a kid I grew up near the red light district of amsterdam (how much overexposure can a man get?) , I used to make a extra buck by shopping at grocery stores for the working ladies, while they were busy, It kinda dulls the senses for naked flesh, there need to be some mental connection for me to get really excited...

Generally In movies I like a good plot with subtle sexual innuendo (especially when you put some tense deprived component to it) more than explicit beavershots, the only porno I have are with some fine footjobs, wich is just my thing.


[edit on 13-3-2005 by Silenus]

Pornography affects the same areas of the brain as certain drugs, thus the addiction. With addiction comes the need for more: MAXIM leads to PLAYBOY leads to HUSTLER leads to whatever other form of visual deviance is out there. Like drug addiction, the stronger the better. I'd say men are more addicted to porn than women based on the physical make-up between the sexes. Myself, I find porn a boring, creativity-robbing instrument in the same class as TV. Imagination is where it's at.

Originally posted by nightbreid
Pornography affects the same areas of the brain as certain drugs, thus the addiction. With addiction comes the need for more: MAXIM leads to PLAYBOY leads to HUSTLER leads to whatever other form of visual deviance is out there. Like drug addiction, the stronger the better. I'd say men are more addicted to porn than women based on the physical make-up between the sexes. Myself, I find porn a boring, creativity-robbing instrument in the same class as TV. Imagination is where it's at.

I would disagree with the concept of 'gateway porn' Just because you do one doesn't necessarily mean you'll go to the other. Now this is wrong in the fact that it's true we progress from images on TV or Magazines to other Magazines or Internet, but some people stay 'soft-core' and never switch to 'hard-core'.

I've always had issues with sexuality. On one hand it seems
natural and an expression of love, on the other it seems lusty and dirty.
I then consider that juice that I am pumping, should I really be wasting it for the pleasure of only a few moments? Is this depleting me of something, is it undoing some of spirituality and self control? And when I look at porn, am I turning someone into a sexual object, just so that I can get off.

You know I actually think sex is overrated. How people obsess for a few moments of pleasure and as soon as I ejaculate, it goes limp, and the sexual desire fades away. It's funny how when I was having sex with my girlfriend. As soon I had ejacuated, I just said "I had cum" and it was all over. It was only 10 min.

I feel like a hypocrit when discussing sex. Sometimes it's right, and sometimes it's wrong for me and I cannot quite reconcile this.

So, Oops, I do understand you when you say you do it, but don't necessarily like it. It's what we call guilty pleasure. We all have a guilty pleasure.

I was addicted to porn too, I still am sort of. I use to masturbate at least 7 times a day. I then brought that down to once a day. Now, I am trying to build tolerance, and have been able to bring it down to once a week or twice a week.

Sex for me is lust. It's not love. Nor is it loving yourself. It's that something you just do and get it over with. It's an itch. And it just does not seem right to me. Especially when I look at society today and see how much of a sex market it has become and how this is having a negative influence on society. There is sex everywhere you look and people have reduced each other into objects of desire or non desire.

It's a lot about aesthetics and how big certain parts of your body is. It's not about who a person is at soul and heart. And when I see a pornstar whose life is easier for giving good head and than a not so particularly attractive woman, who job is to look after children or eldery, lead a hard life. I am disgusted by it. Yet, when I need that pornstar to assist me to get off, I will be turned on by it.

Yet, I can never respect a woman who sells herself like this. I just cannot. You can call me a hypocrit, if you want, but I can't. I see them as immoral, disgusting, cheap. Yet, like you Oops, I have a beast within me, who is turned on by this. I guess that is just my male side. But, ultimately this is my body and my soul, and I am much more powerful than some physical need. I control the physical and ultimately I can control my mind.

Yet, again it always comes to what irreconciable as of yet, question, is sex right? I don't know. But I know this much, sex for me, is not the biggest part of my life - not even close.

But, do I really want to completely eliminate it from my life? Would I miss it at all? I wonder if this will be like the time I stopped eating meat. It was so easy, I just said one day "no more" and never looked back since. Now, the thought of eating meat disgusts me.

But if people want to be sexual objects, and then you use them, then is that really using them? They want to be used. If two strangers consent to frivolous sex, like the sex cubicles in Japan, is that right or wrong?

Are we here to be hedonists, or do we have a greater purpose? The sexual body parts are at a peak at a certain age, afterwards they peter out. This is because their primary role is reproduction and later the role of a parent is to father and mother their child. Yet, today, we have horny grandmas prowling around the streets looking for men - who have passed both their age of youth and parenthood - Something just doesn't seem right.

It is actually a fact that the rates of infertility are increasing, especially in men. This is attributed to the fact that the age of marriage and wedlock has increased to 30 or so. The rise in sex has also brought about a rise in divorce, teenage pregnancy and dysfunctional families. It is also brought a rise in child crime.

Is sex linked to immortality?

Again, something just doesn't seem right with this picture.

[edit on 13-3-2005 by Indigo_Child]

Originally posted by 00PS

I would disagree with the concept of 'gateway porn' Just because you do one doesn't necessarily mean you'll go to the other. Now this is wrong in the fact that it's true we progress from images on TV or Magazines to other Magazines or Internet, but some people stay 'soft-core' and never switch to 'hard-core'.
Let's really compare the progression of porn vs. TV. Do you think a sit-com like MAYBERRY RFD, or THE COSBYS could compete with the reality drivel and senseless sit-coms painted on the tube every night? No, because people married to prime-time have evolved. Morality no longer stimulates, sex sells, especially when coupled with violence(cue the evolution of porn). The more we see the darker part of our souls on the boob tube we become desensitized and want more. Such is the way of the porn addict. Some people do stay 'soft-core', I agree, their involvement is purely recreational, not deviational, like an addict. Addiction is a three-fold illness that affect the addict physically, mentally, and spiritually, simply put, it is their reality.

I've realized Porn is an addiction. First, It creates a false sense of beauty. Everything is doctored until the fantasy that i lust after is unreal...and even clouds the beauty I see in my wife. She's gorgeous...

2. Porn creates a fake world. It's all horny, gratuitous sex where anyone gets it down and dirty. Not reality either. Soon, it's an act. Nothing more than cheap acts. Which makes cheating easier.

3. Porn is corruptive. It's like a bad virus it spreads. Further, deeper, until it keeps getting harder and dirtier...starts with pictures, then movies, then...it's endless. And that leads to cheating even more.

4. Last, BUT FIRST, God didn't create me to look at porn. He made a beautiful woman for me who I realize tonight, I have to value her. Make her the center of my lust, love, and desire. In doing so, she will become sexier than anything I could desire. After realizing this, the porn merely looks like skulls leading to a path of emptiness and shallowness.


Remember...those ugly, disgusting, fat, whatever people in the porn with some superhot babe...She's only doing it becuase she's getting money. Realize that and you see the cheapness. Nothing is desirable there except money. They don't care who they corrupt hurt and destroy. It's $$$$. I repent of porn and recommit my life to Jesus Christ. I hope someone out there does too. God, I accept your plan and humbly ask for your strength to say no. 30 days first to reap a habit!

porn is disgusting and if you find any porn lying about your house you send it straight to me and i'll make sure its destroyed porns just visual stimulation for something thats always been happening. why have hang ups about it, although to be fair the internet is just riddled with porn, i read somewhere that if all pornography on the internet was closed down there would only be one site left called bringbacktheporn.com but its not true as obviously ats would still be here. When it comes to sex people need different stimulants and as long as there is money to be made porn will always be around (though it should be more controlled), different strokes for different folks.