Broken Heart Rant

What is the best way to get over a heart break? Particularly one in which you have while staying and trying to make it work with the person who has broken your heart?

I woke up this morning sick as a dog. My boyfriend has been distant towards me for a few days. Just a cold detached feeling I got from him and I asked him about it and he tells me hes "just not feeling it anymore but is still in love with me"

He says there is no one else. He says I've done nothing wrong. I actually treat him really good.

But here I am.. feeling like a bus hit me. I cried my eyes out and could barely breath most of the morning. He tells me he wants to work on us and that he believes we can fix it.

I just want to feel better. I have no idea how. All of this bull crap has me questioning my self worth.

a reply to: Fehrie

Ask him what he wants to work on. If he is saying he wants to work on things then ask him what they are.

I have been where you are more times than I care to count or admit. I'm sure they are all listed here in the relationship forum!

If you aren't broken up completely and he wants to work on things than all is not lost!

Best of luck to you and I have no other advice because honestly it does suck and nothing anyone says ever makes you feel better.

Don't question your self worth though, no man is worth that!

a reply to: Fehrie

I don't have any immediate fix, but the truth is you'll be stronger for this. No matter what challenges, you only have two options: lie down forever or get back up, stronger than before.

Take a breath, realise this moment is not permanent, have faith that you'll get through it.

I don't usually comment on stuff like this but I'm going through my own things (non-romance related) right now and I just want to share some of my own pig-headedness around

Feel better soon.

Thank you both. He has got me so upset. He broke my heart now hes apologizing and saying sorry. I'm not sure what he wants.

a reply to: Fehrie

How long have the two of you been together?

You went for the a$$ hole and then wanted him to become the “nice guy”. Same story different day. Go find someone who will appreciate you even if you think you will be bored.

a reply to: Fehrie

What matters is what you want. He definitely has some explaining to do.

Has he done this before? Could he be trying to control you?

This is not normal behavior from a man who says he loves you.

This isn't love and you know that and feel that. Don't hide from what has happened. Go into it straught on and strong. Guard your heart. Love truly is lightning in a bottle-rare and special.

a reply to: Fehrie

It happens or did to me had long term relationship almost 9 years, after my marriage/and divorce. Split up got back together for a couple of years but just didnt have that spark, neither of us did. Try the separating if its meant to be you will find a way back together. When we first broke up I was really upset about it, the second time though it was realizing this isnt going to work and you move on. Find closure when it is done and there is somebody out there that will always have that burning flame for you.

But dont tie your self worth to any other person, you got to be content and happy with yourself. You sound like a wonderful, thoughtful and caring girlfriend, guy doesn't know how good he has it.

originally posted by: Justso
a reply to: Fehrie

What matters is what you want. He definitely has some explaining to do.

Has he done this before? Could he be trying to control you?

This is not normal behavior from a man who says he loves you.

This isn't love and you know that and feel that. Don't hide from what has happened. Go into it straught on and strong. Guard your heart. Love truly is lightning in a bottle-rare and special.

I agree 100% ... great post

So he hasn't cheated on you.
He has told you he wasnt happy and wants to work on your relationship.

Sounds like he's doing the right thing.

originally posted by: Deetermined
a reply to: Fehrie

How long have the two of you been together?

Two years. We've known each other for like 10 years tho.

originally posted by: putnam6
a reply to: Fehrie

It happens or did to me had long term relationship almost 9 years, after my marriage/and divorce. Split up got back together for a couple of years but just didnt have that spark, neither of us did. Try the separating if its meant to be you will find a way back together. When we first broke up I was really upset about it, the second time though it was realizing this isnt going to work and you move on. Find closure when it is done and there is somebody out there that will always have that burning flame for you.

But dont tie your self worth to any other person, you got to be content and happy with yourself. You sound like a wonderful, thoughtful and caring girlfriend, guy doesn't know how good he has it.

thank you for the kind words. i know i seem like i am begging for attention with this thread... its because i am. just trying to feel better (: you helped

originally posted by: Justso
a reply to: Fehrie

Has he done this before?

four or five times actually

originally posted by: Fehrie

originally posted by: Justso
a reply to: Fehrie

Has he done this before?

four or five times actually

That's a really bad sign. Chances are that he'll continue to do it until you can't take any more and leave on your own. That way, he'll feel less guilty, even he's the one who ultimately pushed you out the door. I personally wouldn't waste any more years with this one.

Be on the look out for a new man. The current one is your Kryptonightmare. Don't marry him!

People tell you there's lots of other fish in the sea or get back out there and date. I don't subscribe to either the only way to get over heartbreak is time .

a reply to: Fehrie

So this is what I am hearing:

You're not married
You've only been in a relationship with him for 2 years (previous friendship doesn't count)
He has done this 4-5 times before

I'd say it's time to make your exit! Rather than jump right into dating someone else, why don't you try going it alone and learning to fall in love with yourself all over again? Time and self love heal all wounds!

originally posted by: Fehrie

originally posted by: putnam6
a reply to: Fehrie

It happens or did to me had long term relationship almost 9 years, after my marriage/and divorce. Split up got back together for a couple of years but just didnt have that spark, neither of us did. Try the separating if its meant to be you will find a way back together. When we first broke up I was really upset about it, the second time though it was realizing this isnt going to work and you move on. Find closure when it is done and there is somebody out there that will always have that burning flame for you.

But dont tie your self worth to any other person, you got to be content and happy with yourself. You sound like a wonderful, thoughtful and caring girlfriend, guy doesn't know how good he has it.

thank you for the kind words. i know i seem like i am begging for attention with this thread... its because i am. just trying to feel better (: you helped

Dont worry about asking for help either, sometimes that stuff messes you up but you need some perspective. If nothing else take what you can use and discard the rest.

I sucks I know especially when its in a long term relationship, speaking as a guy with sisters take care of yourself you aren't the problem he is, don't need anybody toying with your emotions. Even if you stay together do whats right for you, stay busy if you talk about it with him try be honest about your feelings but be matter of fact. Try and not be too emotional when and if you discuss it, but discuss it and go on. He needs to know he screwed up, he needs to examine his feelings and make sure whatever he decides it cant be back and forth nobody deserves that and its like being a yoyo. Be strong be independent, cause it sounds like a heavy dose of emotional black mail BS. That can be never ending once it gets started. Its a little bit about circling the wagons and taking care of you, get your sleep, eat well, exercise, laugh at stuff etc etc I highly suspect once he sees its not devastating you he will change his tune.

4-5 times and now again?

Read the writing on the wall? What kinda guy doesn't care about hurting you over and over and over?

You don't need that...I'd say he's a fool. Dump him...be true to yourself in the long run...or you're going to go thru it again and again...6-7 times.

Stop already...save your sanity and your heart. I was gonna say talk it out...but after hearing it's like the 6th time...c'mon dear!

Good luck...and move on...

If it is hurting you this deeply now, how much more do you think you will be hurting if you allow him to continue to get to you? If he has hurt you this much in two years, it doesn't look like things will change, only get worse.

You have an opportunity to walk away, take some time for yourself to begin healing and then find someone who will love and appreciate you for many years to come. I wish you all the very best.