Confession box for Aliens, Reptillians, Robots and Illuminatists.

They walk amongst us. Aliens, Reptillians, Robots and Illuminatists.

This is your chance to confess your true nature! to the conspiracy theorists.

I dare you.

a reply to: AthlonSavage

You should have double dog dared them ...,,, too late now.

I am none of those thing... at least I don't think I am an alien, but I am pretty weird so I guess you never know.

a reply to: AthlonSavage


I'm a robot Illuminist and my wife is an evil Jooo Reptilian Space Alien. We both like children.

I'm not a reptilian but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

a reply to: FauxMulder


Yeah, that definitely doesn't make you an alien, just a cheap bastard.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Well, we common reptilians folk have to make sacrifices. Boss man says I only have to destroy a few more souls before I'm allowed to eat children.

originally posted by: FauxMulder
Well, we common reptilians folk have to make sacrifices.

As an High-Ranking Illuminist making sacrifices is just part of the job.

The best part.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: FauxMulder
Well, we common reptilians folk have to make sacrifices.

The best part.

Meh, I always liked enslaving people in the hollow part of the flat earth.

a reply to: AthlonSavage

I'm a walrus.

I've been exposed...

Well this one time, I was reading an article, probably on ATS, about cats being aliens and well the as soon as I started reading both my cats jumped up at stared intently at my computer screen until I finished.

I've noticed since, I think they might have me under some kind of mind control. I regularly clean their # up after them, spend money I work for on their sustenance, and frequently feel this uncontrollable urge to stop what i'm doing and rub their bellies.

I'm pretty 110% sure aliens....definitely aliens....

a reply to: AthlonSavage

All I'm saying is I'm not from around here.

This joint scares me.

I'm in the illuminati, like Augustus. I'm not very high ranking though, I am what they call the "Groom of the Stool".

The only real benefit is you get to sniff all the ass you want. They like it when you sniff, but you're supposed to be discreet about it, for politeness, so you gotta pretend you're sneaking a sniff but at the same time make sure they hear you.

It takes finess. There is a fine line where it becomes rude, but at the same time it's even more rude if you don't do any sniffing at all. A well trained Groom can tell all of his different masters apart just by smell alone. In fact, the famous Groom Curuthers Wilkington IV once saved David Rockefeller's life by helping to detect a rare form of cancer because he didn't smell quite right for the last few bowel movements, the Grooms concern led David to see his Dr, and they detected it early enough to save his life. So, we Do serve an important purpose, and our work uniform is a Gimp Suit, so yeah, its all good

Uh oh my service pager just went off...

Aw jeez, its Augustus again... he takes such delight in making my life Hell by indulging in the most rediculous cuisines known to man. It's like his digestive system is his own little personal chemistry set that Always explodes in my face, and Always concludes with him erupting in the most gleeful laughter you could imagine. Why he finds such joy in this, is a mystery I will never solve...he's nearly 40 years of age, for Satan's sake!

(I apologize in advance if this gets removed for being too real, but the OP asked for the real truth, and so of course I could not resist trying to make them regret it, lol, and hey lets face it the Actual real truth is unthinkable let alone speakable, so if this "bothers" you, you don't want to know the real truth then... )

originally posted by: FauxMulder
I'm not a reptilian but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

But did you save 15% on your car insurance by switching to Gieco?

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

originally posted by: watchitburn
a reply to: AthlonSavage

I'm a walrus.

I am the egg man

originally posted by: Brywilson2

originally posted by: FauxMulder
I'm not a reptilian but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

But did you save 15% on your car insurance by switching to Gieco?

15%?

Ha!

You know the spokesman is a reptile right?

I get that shizle for free.

a reply to: AthlonSavage

I am a biomechanical android.
I'm essentially a self sustaining, self transporting, sentient gopro.

I am built up of what gamers would call IRL Voxels, or atoms.
I am here to record all that which I experience while my battery and transport systems hold out.
Upon failure of one or both systems, I will be uploaded back to the main frame for processing and data recovery.

My knowledge will be added to the master collection and I will then be stored until reassignment.
My body will be broken down for recycling and reuse in the simulation at a later date. (Although only now exists)

Fear not though. My visit here is one of exploration and learning. I'm here to observe and poke things with a stick occasionally. So mostly peaceful....

originally posted by: FauxMulder
I'm not a reptilian but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.