The beauty and love of deep friendships...

Last night/evening I was at a gathering with my life tribe in a beautiful place celebrating the birthday of my best friend and working partner. He died two years ago but he was deeply loved by all of us who stem from the 90's rave/free party generation. There were 50+ friends turned up, music, drinks, laughter and smiles.
At one point I was musing to myself how incredibly rich I am with love and friendship from all these people. Deeply trusted, previous intimacy between many and much interchange between partners over the years but all still loving friends.
We call ourselves a tribe with no name, just good people, and anyone is welcomed warmly until or unless their behaviour is inconsistent with ours...then the tribe may smite you, and they are many.

I've got just over 100 facebook friends and they are all actual friends I've met and trust deeply. I don't accept a friend request until I've met someone, spent time with them, and then trust them. Now that can happen over days if someone I meet is trusted by loads of my trusted friend, but I'm tight fisted as when it comes to being an actual 'friend' of mine on fb.

I actually have my one and only friend who I love and trust deeply but I've never met. She's in the US, and we've been messenging for a couple of years, been through bad points, been through good points, together, comforting and being someone to share thoughts in a safe place and someone who has no benefit using those thoughts in gossip with other involved people.
I love my US mate as deeply as mates I was with yesterday evening, she knows my deepest thoughts and emotions, but then my mates last night do.

In closing, from my best male mate who I can just walk into his house shouting It's me if the door is unlocked, to a dear female friend who I hang out with and drunk text (she was out yesterday), and everyone in between including my most loved and trusted friend, my ex wife and mother of my child, I gotta say, friendships are our riches.

All thoughts in any remotely love, trust, friendship way are welcome,
Blue skies to all,
CCG

I love my bbq in the same way man. Pig and I. I and pig. Lying on that grill...I worship the coals and apple wood smoke as though the creator itsself was there helping. That and Aretha Franklin on my Sonos. Religious. Was that on topic? Sorry....drunk on the grill...

a reply to: lakenheath24

Star for making me laugh out loud
I've BBQ'd every day for nearly 4 weeks now, light a fire after work and meat festival outside with good tunes.

BBQ at a mates place tomorrow, just bring your own beer or whatever, same friends as yesterday will be there.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Yeah man. I envy you. I've never really had the tight nit circle of friends you have. I've had friends, I've had lovers. My tribe now is my wife, daughter, dogs and my now unborn child. I've been in tight nit circles before and it's work man. At least that circle of friends were. I still talk to a few of them and occasionally hang out, but you have something special. I wish the world worked this way. No division, no ranks, just openness and true empathy for others.

Cheers CCG. You have what the world needs more of.

I don't make friends easy, I'm extremely introverted and a bit # at conversations, and I guess a bit hard to figure out for people, sometimes it comes across like I don't care, when in reality, once I accept you, I REALLY CARE! and am a very emotional person! being like this has burned me in my life, and I truly regret that!

I have met people I deeply care for, that I wished I was different for! and one who I'd literally take a bullet for or throw my body in harms way if I thought it would help them even the slightest! with me though even that hasn't been smooth sailing ... but I'm so grateful for that person, despite myself!

I couldn't or would never want a whole big group of friends though, my brain doesn't compute that! I think one or two or a few maybe? extremely close friends is the limit (personally) otherwise I'd be stretched too thin and can't really live up to the importance of the role I believe it should entail ....

That's just me though *shrugs*

a reply to: rollanotherone

Aw mate I was just lucky to be at the right age in 90's Britain, well 88/89 really when the Second Summer of Lovehappened. We've been a tribe ever since those days at illegal raves/free parties, everyone sharing water with strangers, dancing for hours together, amazing times.
Now my mates organise legal festivals and our now young aduld kids are the next generation partying with us, same as the younger kids who everyone plays with and keeps an eye on them so parents can get off duty time.

Your tribe may be small but it is your tribe, so from the tribe with no name I wish you well on your path.

a reply to: valiant

If you are happy with the people you care about and care for you then that is all that matters mate.
I love my tribe but as I said, I was lucky, it formed organically in my rave/free party/activism/protest days and we've just developed a deeper love over the years. Trust is massive, and because we all have different contacts we are actually a locally powerful group if the proverbial ever hit the fan...because of love and trust of friends in the tribe.

Takes years to build that deep trust and it can be gone in the wink of an eye if it is broken.
Trust is a massive thing with my people...maybe back to the days when we had police undercover in activism and illegal rave days, trust is massively important.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy


Hanging out with your tribe sounds hella fun

I like you, am very picky about my fb friends. I only have one I haven’t met in life; got to know him online. A truly great guy who has been my rock in the past, and I’ve been there for him too. He lives in AK and I was offered a cruise trip to AK with my sister and cousin, but don’t want to leave my son alone (he will not stay with anyone else, and he will not take a cruise); anyhow, I told my sis if she can, she should try to meet up with Charlie while she’s there as they are friends now too. I’ve known him approx 12 years now. I adore some of my internet friends, (t he yknow who they are). unfortunately, I’ve never got a chance to get together and have that beer.

I do also have some people on my fb only because they are parents of kids my son hangs out with, or friends of my sisters who have sent me req and I felt rude not accepting.

You are right, having good friends is the spice of life that we all need. Xo

a reply to: KTemplar

It is fun, got a few birthdays coming up this summer as well so fires at the beach, beats, dancing and laughter.
We all share a similar ideology and so do our offspring who are all friends as well growing up around campfires listening to techno, house, or trance etc, next generation lol.

It's a big enough tribe that we've got everything 'in-house' among friends now, from plumbers to car mechanics to graphic designers, school teachers/private tutors, massage therapists, martial arts instructors, you name it.
If I need something, anything that a friend could help with, I just shout on facebook and I'll get it and we charge mates rates, like a few beers and some food or whatever. Keep the money in the tribe and out of the government taxes is our mantra.

Silly story, I'm happily single, lots of dearly loved female friends who I do stuff with, don't need a girlfriend lol
Anyway a few months ago I posted on fb that I wanted to see a musical at a local theatre so does anyone want to come with me. My male mates teased calling me gay for wanting to see the musical, but within 15 minutes I had a companion and free tickets from another friend who manages a hotel and had some free complimentary tickets.
Result, I had a fantastic night, and my friend who supplied the tickets, she had a couple of bottles of wine off me and my companion in return.

When you're in a tribe it is like a black market of mates helping each other out.
If I won the lottery my home base would always be here.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy


Man, fires at the beach. That’s always a good time!

a reply to: KTemplar

And generator, DJ decks/sound system, house/techno/trance music, UV lights and backdrop artwork, yes good times!
We're lucky, the beaches are mostly at the base of cliffs here so if the speakers are pointing out to sea then nobody except fishing boats can hear the repetitive beat and complain. Cops don't care anyway, some of the dirt paths down are pretty dangerous so they leave us be.
_________________
...as I was typing this a really close female friend of mine phoned me after going out for a few drinks with a mutual male mate. She had recently been thinking she wanted to be more than friends with him but she said tonight she realised how much she loves him as a friend so she's not going down that road.
Lots of us are like that, single, but get the companionship and love without the complications of being in a partnership. Occasional discrete intimacy is the norm here amongst friends, we are all entwined through multiple previous ex's lol, but the deep love of trusted friendship is what binds us all together.
EDIT
I posted this pic in another thread, it is me and my son when he was 4 or 5 at stonehenge. The girl friend I mentioned above wants us to do a refresher photo the same with my lad who is now early twenties. She has a daughter herself and wants a similar picture with her and her little one so we're going in the next few weeks for an adventure together. It feels like family when we are together, she was involved when my son was growing up and now I'm involved with her daughter's life, like a pseudo uncle or something, same my son is like an older bro.
I'd wish a good strong life tribe on everyone...

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

I'd wish a good strong life tribe on everyone...

Nothing personal OP , but a strong life tribe for me doesn’t involve a bunch of exes in the relationships .. or a bunch of single friends with occasional discreet sexual benefits. Sounds emotionally and sexually confusing to me, and I can only imagine how the children have to wrap their heads and hearts around it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you have what you consider a large circle of good friends you refer to as a life tribe.. just saying my idea of a life tribe would be different.

Each to their own, I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: rollanotherone

Aw mate I was just lucky to be at the right age in 90's Britain, well 88/89 really when the Second Summer of Lovehappened. We've been a tribe ever since those days at illegal raves/free parties, everyone sharing water with strangers, dancing for hours together, amazing times.
Now my mates organise legal festivals and our now young aduld kids are the next generation partying with us, same as the younger kids who everyone plays with and keeps an eye on them so parents can get off duty time.

Your tribe may be small but it is your tribe, so from the tribe with no name I wish you well on your path.

Sounds like the movie Human Traffic. One of my all time favorite movies.

a reply to: Sheye

Ah, different folks different strokes is all, life isn't binary. I assume you enjoy whatever works for you as do I.
Children only care about being loved, with everyone around them being friendly and happy. 'Kids' from my age group are now late teens or early twenties, they are very much part of our gatherings and parties, all of them stable and lovely young people who find our lifestyle natural because they grew up with it.
Some have started creating the next generation now so it isn't unusual for me to be minding a baby or toddler sat at a campfire to give the parents some off time, we all treat everyone else's kids as if they were our own. It's like a big creche at parties.

As far as ex's and single people go I'd say rough estimate, out of 50+ friends at the gathering the other night maybe 30 were committed couples with the rest single, myself included. Out of that mix it's difficult to say how many ex's were there, over the years most of us have shared intimate moments together at one time or other or been in relationships for a time. It's not awkward or anything like that it's just being human.
There were 7 girls there who I've had actual relationships with so formal 'ex's', and quite a few more who I've been intimate with, and all of us loving friends.

It's normal for us, so if your world is different I can understand how it would put you out of your comfort zone.
If a relationship doesn't work we all just get over it and become friends again, the friendship is the most important thing to everyone.
Maybe we're just a bunch of neo-hippies, I'll take that label, but it is a lifestyle I'd wish on anyone, happy, carefree, and with deep bonds between friends.

originally posted by: rollanotherone
Sounds like the movie Human Traffic. One of my all time favorite movies.

For the friends in my generation yes, that is not far off the mark. Clubbing, illegal raves, beach parties etc. was the lifestyle, but these days we are more grown up lol with some friends being legal festival organisers and music producers. We've hung out together for nearly 30 years so not much is going to change now.

We still have unauthorised parties at beaches or on the moors with generator, sound system, and lighting, but the cops are chilled here and so long as we clean up the next day (which we do religiously) then they let it slide. You might get the occasional cop to come and check out what's going on but they leave satisfied when they recognise the same faces (us), I've even seen the odd cop or two having a quick dance before going on their way...dirty techno beat must have hit a nerve lol