The black mystery sarcophagus was opened, and now people want to drink its ‘bone juice’

Lmao, i wasn't really expecting something out of the ordinary, but people wanting to drink that stuff? eh...

There was a lot of fierce debate about whether we should open the massive and ancient black sarcophagus that was unearthed in Alexandria, Egypt, a few weeks back. For many, including this reporter, the damn thing needed to remain closed, lest we all be subjected to some kind of horrifying, world-ending torment.

Nobody listened to reason, however, and yesterday, the sarcophagus was opened. What was revealed was not buried treasure or some massive curse (yet) but three average skeletons, possibly soldiers, baking in a lot of red liquid. And because the internet is the home for forbidden snackers of all types, some people wanted to drink that sweet, sweet mummy broth.

As of this writing, more than 400 people have signed a change.org petition to let people drink the liquid from the “cursed” dark sarcophagus. The goal, according to Innes McKendrick, the Scottish game producer who launched the petition, is to turn the liquid into some sort of carbonated Monster-esque energy drink, so people can assume the skeleton’s powers and “finally die.”

While it might look like Kool-Aid, experts say that the juice is actually some kind of sewage that must have seeped into the not-so-water-tight tomb during the 2,000 or so years that the sarcophagus was buried. McKendrick, though, isn’t convinced, as “everyone knows that skeletons cannot poop.”

Whether this campaign is, in fact, the foretold curse is unknown (but likely).

Original news source

"Momma always said , stupid is as stupid does" - Forrest Gump

3,220 have signed. Let’s get to 5,000!

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

Let's keep the number rising, might have the solution to the population problem.

ew ew and ew,

However back in the day European aristocracy ate mummies.

www.laphamsquarterly.org...

This has got to be a joke right?? Hey- maybe the guy who believes water isn't necessary would like to partake

a reply to: Frocharocha

Ahh, internet. Never change.

a reply to: Frocharocha

Let them drink it. It's gonna be a helluva diarrhea.

a reply to: Frocharocha

Might as well call the "Mummy Challenge" akin to the Tide Pod Challenge. Equally disturbing as well as equally stupid. Couldn't find a better argument to let Climate Change just take humanity once and for all.

Egypt is already cursed. Why do yall think its a god dam desert first place? Egyptian empire is already dead. They is no more Egyptians. It basically Muslims and brown people from Africa.

Obviously those aren’t real people signing the petition...

wait for it...

Those are Russian bots!

Boomshakalaka!!

It's completely safe.
Tasted and tested.
No ill effects.




Quick rundown here:
en.wikipedia.org...

originally posted by: Puppylove
a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

Let's keep the number rising, might have the solution to the population problem.

Watch what you wish for!
Could be a prefect cover story for an engineered Zombie flu.
::knocks on wood:: (acacia if you might ask...)

a reply to: spacedoubt
Like those ok Duracell battery commercials from the 90s or Primus video.... But not good.

originally posted by: makemap
Egypt is already cursed. Why do yall think its a god dam desert first place? Egyptian empire is already dead. They is no more Egyptians. It basically Muslims and brown people from Africa.

Now now, lets not forget the 18 or so million Coptic Christians who live in Egypt. Oh and 'Muslim' is a religion not an ethnic group.

a reply to: Frocharocha
Ah let them drink it. Probably give them explosive diarrhea, hopefully they pass a kidney as well on the way to the toilet. They should put it on the national news, would be funny to see them running to the toilet after a while holding there rear as they hobble along. Or at least YouTube, would get some hits me thinks. Now that would be entertainment.

And also it would set a precedent as a valuable lesson on why you don't drink nasty nappy stuff you find in sarcophagus. They should use it in kindergarten classrooms. With the teacher point out how the pants change color around the buttocks region 5 minutes into there hobbling dash to the bathroom. Also we should probably put a lock on the bathrooms, you know just for sh#ts and giggles.

a reply to: Frocharocha

This is ridiculous.

First of all, if the bones of the occupants of that sarcophagus were liquified, then it was not a very good sarcophagus, despite the perfect seal we are told was present upon its discovery. Furthermore, it is FAR more interesting to consider what those three individuals were interred in that manner for, than to consider the beverage related potential of whatever disgusting broth the flesh and soft tissues of the bodies has turned into over the enormity of years between the bodies being placed in the sarcophagus, and now.

Short of chugging a canister of nerve agent, swallowing a few lumps of the most radioactive substances available, THEN exposing oneself to Y. Pestis by rubbing boat loads of it onto your tongue, into your eyes, and other places besides, I can think of few things more ill advised, than consuming liquid from a tomb of any age, leave alone taken from a sarcophagus. Utterly ridiculous.

a reply to: Frocharocha

This stuff looks a lot like what I have collected in a large concrete tank out behind my house. If someone wants a drink from it; it will cost them $2.50 per 8 oz. glass.
I don't know how much these folks will charge, but I'll be mine is a real bargain basement price.

Or should I say "septic tank deal".

a reply to: Frocharocha

Right... Stick my head in an unflushed toilet and swallow! NO!

good old cinnabar. .....

Funny it is not an eygyption burial practice....

Wtf is going on

Mayan ? Chinese ?

Hmmmmmm


Now that's a mystery