Jurassic World: fallen kingdom (spoilers) it’s bad..

I’m a big fan of the JP movies.. the first one was the only real masterpiece, but I usually like the big action set pieces if nothing else.
However in today’s cinimas, big crazy set pieces alone just don’t realy cut it for me..


This movies plot is just ridiculous.. it has plot holes on top of plot holes..


The movie opens with maybe the best scene in the series. It involves the mossasaur, but then goes steeply downhill after that..

So in a bit shell the plot starts, as most will know from The trailers with the idea that the dinosaurs’ island is about to explode and the US Congress is debating whether or not to intervene. Brice Howard is now a “Dino rights” activist trying to get someone to save the dinosaurs from the island.


Well Congress decides not to intervene, but Brice finds a private investigator willing to fund the operation to remove the dinosaurs from the island. So she recruits Chris Pratt to go help her..

The private intrest funding the operation is an elderly man somehow connected to John Hammond from the first movie.. maybe his brother.. and his cartoon mustache twirling villian of a son/nephew who presently runs the company.

They then introduce the kid that every JP movie has. She is the 11 year old granddaughter of the elderly man funding the Dino rescue op. Appearently she is his deceased daughter’s , daughter.


So Brice and Pratt go to the island to rescue the Dinos...

Up to here the movies actually pretty good, but then it take a hard turn towards the corner of stupidity and plot hole lane ..


Well as anyone could and will guess the private corporation funding the expedition are the bad guys and they INSTANTLY turn on Brice and Pratt.. and by instantly, I mean INSTANTLY.. they turn on them and try to kill them so fast it just doesn’t make ANY sense..


Then the “real” plot is revealed..

Appearently the whole “rescue” operation was really the cover for the equivalent of a cartoon endangered species auction where they are auctioning off 11 rescued dinosaurs for roughly between 10 and 25 million apiece.. aka likely less money than the rescue mission would have cost I the first place. Lol..


And it gets worse.. not only is the concept of the auction ridiculous and unfeasible. They then make the whole trip to the island irrelevant, because they then reveal that they have been cloning their own dinosaurs and the main genetisist is working for the bad guys..


So why in the F did they invole the protagonists in the plot by attempting the rescue at all if they can just clone more?!?!

If they can clone dinosaurs why are they wasting their time with an ILLEGAL two bit auction for a hundred million or so?!?!

So the movie ends up being about Pratt and co. running around trying to stop the auction.. and the auction is ridiculous..

They then have a very well orcastrate plot twist that you do not see comming and has a pretty good reveal..


Appearently the little gorl I mentioned earlier is not the granddaughter of Hammond’s associate..


She is a clone of his daughter!!


A pretty good and surprising twist that was totally wasted as it has NOTHING to do with the plot.. NOTHING at all..

In fact not only is it irrelevant to the plot.. it makes the rest of the plot even dumber..


So they are running an illegal dinosaur auction WHEN THEY HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO CLONE PEOPLE?!?!


Hell that is the one thing that trumps Dino’s when it comes to military applications.. if you can clone soldiers?!?!

Why would you need to clone dinosaurs?!!


It is just a joke.
Added in edit:

I almost forgot..


There is a pretty good , I think single take fight scene where Pratt just runs thought like 7 trained elite mercenaries without slowing down.... it is a well coriographed scene.. the problem is that Chris Pratt’s character is a raptor trainer.. not Jason borne lol..

a reply to: JoshuaCox

As long as it has big scary Dino’s running around causing mayhem then I am game! Sad to hear that the plot sucks. But I am still going to watch it

a reply to: JoshuaCox

So glad I didn't bother.
Redbox......

a reply to: JoshuaCox

It looked a bit silly to me tbh, I won't bother going to see it.

I love me some Jurassic Park but I'm still a bit bitter about my favourite Dino literally not existing, not as it's shown anyways...

Velociraptors were tiny! Dilophosaurus were huge and they didn't spit!

Arrgh!

Seriously though. Any new Dino's? Wasn't their something about spliced Dino's... Carnotaurus/Raptor/Rex kinda thing?

Might even watch it for something like that. It's not like the writers haven't just made stuff up before.


Still angry about raptors... Lol.

a reply to: JoshuaCox

appreciate your in depth breakdown, another of 100s of recent productions I wait for dvd release and watch while drinking and shooting pool in the barn.

I picked up the video game. It's a park management game like Zoo Tycoon used to be. Son will be so excited because he's already antsy about whether or not I am getting it.

I will probably make more exciting stories about all of this in my head.

a reply to: BlueJacket More enjoyable when youre doing that,at least you got beer and a good game of pool

a reply to: RAY1990

Yea they clone a indominus Rex/raptor clone that comes with a laser targeting system..


Which is a big reason the plot is ridiculous...

Why bother woth the island or Pratt or Brice if your climbing Rex/raptor hybrids already ?!?! Lol

a reply to: BlueJacket

My pleasure.. thinks for reading it I

a reply to: JoshuaCox

Bwahaha.

That's awesome, I was hoping for some giganotosaurus tbh, guess I got to watch it now, sounds like a barrel of laughs.

a reply to: RAY1990

The opening scene with the mossasaur is outstanding.

a reply to: JoshuaCox

... all I wanted was dinosaurs with freakin' lasar beams ...

It is implied that in Jurassic World, Chris Pratts character might have some special operations experience through his time in the Navy. Look at the way he carries his knife, horizontal, in the middle of his back. This may justify his fight scene.

Sorry it was a bummer for ya, maybe the book will better! LOL

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: JoshuaCox

So glad I didn't bother.
Redbox......

Redbox?

I'll wait for the Wal-Mart bargain bin during a 2AM stroll on a windy night. This franchise hasn't been good since it was actually about a Park run amok.

Would definitely watch with redbox in 5 months. It LOOKS neat

SPOILERS BELOW...











Just like you thought the opening scene was really well done, but the movie blew up from there. Lets just put it this way Bryce Howard and Chris Pratt's characters are so uninteresting after 2 movies I still didn't remember their names, and I generally like both actors in other non dino movies lol.. Plot holes galore and Pratt's survival from jumping off what looks like 150 foot cliff engulfed in flying volcano debris and charging dinosaurs including Brachiosarus and Stegosaurus among others is well along with boulders and lava etc a little far fetched. Not to mention he is still able to be Johnny on the spot as Bryce and this movies computer techie sink in one of the supposedly super strong bubble cars that held up to dino teeth previously,but now get holed easily from a gun shots underwater. It seemed to just jump from one scene to another and yes the dino auction was ridiculous. As always the dinosaurs look great,but really kills it with the special abilities BS, just let them be dinosaurs. Pratt's dinosaur Dr. Doolittle was silly in Jurassic World and they double down on it in Fallen Kingdom. The action didn't stop but it made no sense, I guess if you turn off your brain it would be better. Funny thing is these last 2 have made 2 and 3 seem even better than they were originally. Of course it will still make a load of money and left an opening for movies 6,7,8 and 9 ...

a reply to: JoshuaCox
My two daughters liked it, age 10 & 13... looks like there will be a third part.

a reply to: putnam6

I have no idea what their characters names are either!

Lol

a reply to: JoshuaCox

Well....I didn't even know there was another Jurassic world movie....thanks for saving me the trouble....sounds about as bad as the last one.

a reply to: dug88

It was sooooo much worse storyline wise.. I don’t doubt there were holes in the first one, but none specifically jump out at me..


The holes in this one are super in your face from my POV.