Gunthers Suggestions

Well, it was time today to finish all the end-of-month reports. The financials, the budgets (1st quarter) all the little things that justify my and my departments existence.

Sitting back I gave a heavy sigh, rubbed my eyes and said, "I am tired."

One of my Gunther's way nearby, not toiling away like I would prefer. . . .and made a suggestion.

He said, "You should try taking a woman's One-A-Day vitamin every day."


"A woman's vitamin?" I asked. "Why?"




"Because you sound like a whiny little bitch", he said.





In a totally unrelated topic, I suddenly have a new opening in my department.

Taking applications now.

a reply to: DBCowboy

This thread is sexist and insensitive.

S&F

a reply to: DBCowboy


How dare he talk to us in that manner! Do I need to get the Three Idiot's van? One of us is actually in Vegas right now even though I'm not.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: DBCowboy


How dare he talk to us in that manner! Do I need to get the Three Idiot's van? One of us is actually in Vegas right now even though I'm not.

He needs to go "find himself" on a camping trip somewhere in the desert.

Near where we left the shovels that we have never seen or owned.

a reply to: DBCowboy


*le sigh*

Let me grab the pig mask I don't have right next to me.

I happen to be looking for a job!

I probably wouldn't last long though. I know a lot of dirty jokes, having worked around truckers for 20 years. And I'm sarcastic as hell. And I have been known to wolf whistle at men.

Huh. Not good things to put on a resume I'm guessing.

Oh, and is it wrong to memorize what gunther said to you, to use later?

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: DBCowboy


*le sigh*

Let me grab the pig mask I don't have right next to me.

Use the pig mask from last month. The other one still needs to go to the dry-cleaner.

originally posted by: chiefsmom
I happen to be looking for a job!

I probably wouldn't last long though. I know a lot of dirty jokes, having worked around truckers for 20 years. And I'm sarcastic as hell. And I have been known to wolf whistle at men.

Huh. Not good things to put on a resume I'm guessing.

Oh, and is it wrong to memorize what gunther said to you, to use later?

I am a benevolent dictator, kind and gentle. I will always treat my Gunther's with kindness and respect.

Just because I make them wear shock collars as a motivator means absolutely nothing!

a reply to: DBCowboy


I would of gave Gunther a raise! *Snowflake*

a reply to: DBCowboy

See, I thought about shock collars for the gunthers I currently have, but the temptation to stand them under the shower in the shop is too great.

I am running out of room in my backyard as it is.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I'm surprised he was still uppity after you had him castrated for taking your parking spot last month.

Being a sort of Gunther myself at my own place of employment, may I suggest you try turning your Gunther's work stations into tiny meatlockers?

It has quickly put me into a state of frozen submission. As soon as his hands turn into little frozen impersonations of crab claws, he won't be able to be uppity, or at least if he is, he won't be able to get his words in edgewise around the chattering of his teeth.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Now that you have an opening I kinda want this one. My experience is firing people and making a global company more productively proficient. But I think we may not get along in person lol I am young and purposely naive just to be a di#@. Good luck in finding a suitable replacement though

a reply to: DBCowboy

So you would rather all of the underlings just lie to you and tell you how great you are? Man, I would give Gunther a raise and some more paid leave for helping you out in a time of need.

Someone who is honest, even against his own best interests ..... gold

a reply to: ClovenSky

Humor ... you needs to have it when DB talks about his Gunthers.

originally posted by: ClovenSky
a reply to: DBCowboy

So you would rather all of the underlings just lie to you and tell you how great you are? Man, I would give Gunther a raise and some more paid leave for helping you out in a time of need.

Someone who is honest, even against his own best interests ..... gold

Gunther had it coming.
He IS German.
Let them get away with talking smack...and the next thing you know, they're invading Poland.

a reply to: IAMTAT



Or they dress in black and dance to strange techno.

Also disturbing.

you should get the extended warranty on Gunthers .
Saves money on replacement costs .

a reply to: DBCowboy

Is your previous Gunther locked up in Augustus's playroom?

originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: DBCowboy

Is your previous Gunther locked up in Augustus's playroom?

Augustus doesn't have a playroom.

And I'm sticking with that story.