Feeling Bad, Need Your Advice on What to Do.

I'm feeling really bad about something I've done to some people I know. It will take a short story to tell you about it, but I'd like your advice on how to handle the situation I've put myself in.

A couple months ago I hurt my rib with no apparent cause. I do pretty strenuous work, but the rib started hurting after lunch, not after doing something immediately before. The pain was bad and wouldn't go away. I went to the local Dr and he said I had pulled a muscle from coughing too hard. Then a couple days later I got a call from his office saying they made me an appointment at the hospital.

I went to the hospital and had some tests done and they didn't rell me much, just set a date a couple days later to return. When I went back, they told me there was a chance that I had a pretty serious problem with the tendons in my body. I can't remember the exact name of it, but it's where tendons tear loose from the bone with little reason. They said there were places over my body where there was evidence of this happening. I thought it was just because the type of work I do leaves me sore. Anyway, they wanted me to return for a few days at a time over a couple week period to do more tests and physical workouts to figure it out.

This really worried me, I'm not old, but I'm no spring chicken anymore either. I'm single and didn't have anyone really close to me to talk to about it and I didn't want any of my "Bar Friends" or co-workers to think there is something wrong with me and give me some sort of stigma. I started drinking a little more than I should and figured out a story to tell.

It started by telling a co-worker that I had to take a couple weeks off to go help my brother out of state. The next thing I know, I was telling some people that I was going on vacation for a couple weeks. It's strange, but saying I was going on vacation made me feel like I didn't have as much to worry about. I'm somewhat ashamed because I didn't think about how lying to these people like this might make them feel.

There are 2 people who I trust and told them the truth about what was going on with me. Turns out, I couldn't trust one and she told someone who told someone, who told someone, etc.

Now, I did feel bad about telling the lie before she told others, but now I feel really guilty and depressed over it. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I really
wasn't thinking of anyone other than myself at the time.

When I go home, I want to tell them the truth, but I'm not sure how to tell them sorry or how to respond to them if they call me a liar or try to treat me like crap over it. You have any ideas to help me with this? I'd appreciate it.

Quit lying to your friends.

a reply to: esteay812


Wait until YOU know what's really going on. Your friends and co-workers will understand that you didn't want to alarm them, and you still hadn't come to grips with the situation yourself and weren't ready to share, yet.

a reply to: CharlesT

Yes Charles, I appreciate the advice, I usually never do. This was a different situation for me and a different reaction, which I know was wrong, I feel bad about and want to try and fix. Any advice on how to do any of that?

just tell em you werent ready for everyone to know the truth

originally posted by: esteay812
a reply to: CharlesT

Yes Charles, I appreciate the advice, I usually never do. This was a different situation for me and a different reaction, which I know was wrong, I feel bad about and want to try and fix. Any advice on how to do any of that?

The next time you meet them, speak from the heart and tell them the truth.....

a reply to: Sookiechacha

Thanks Sookie. That's good advice, I believe. I really didn't want to say anything to anyone, because I wasn't sure what was up. I just feel bad about telling a story about where I was going to be going. I do care enough about them to tell them personal things, but this was just a little too personal, in my opinion.

a reply to: esteay812

Just be honest and tell them you feel badly for not telling them the reason for your absence. It had to do with fear and confusion over what was going on with your body, and you just weren't ready to come to terms with it in public. You needed to deal with it privately first, and yes you did tell a couple of people, but that experience is what showed you you weren't ready to share it with all friends/associates. Ask if they can forgive you. (They will unless they are selfish bastards... you're the one going thru something here.)

You will feel better to air your feelings, since they are nagging at you.

a reply to: CharlesT

a reply to: Jiggly

Do you guys think I should just avoid them until I find out the results, it'll take several days after the tests are done, or should I just go ahead and let them know before I know the diagnosis?

originally posted by: esteay812
a reply to: CharlesT

a reply to: Jiggly

Do you guys think I should just avoid them until I find out the results, it'll take several days after the tests are done, or should I just go ahead and let them know before I know the diagnosis?

What do you want to do?

a reply to: new_here

Thanks new_here, I appreciate your time. I know what you're saying is right. I believe I will feel a lot better telling them the truth, but I just didn't know how to do it and everyone's advice helps me understand how to tell others something like this.

Tell them "it was either that story, or the witness protection program" you were trying to spare them any angst.

And it was a secret until...... let your friend explain their treachery.

a reply to: new_here

I'm not really sure. I want to tell them to get it off my chest, but I'm also more worried about me. My relationships are improtant to me, but I've never been through something serious with my body before and I'm just learning how important that is to me. I'm kinda torn on what to do and worrying about both is driving me crazy.

originally posted by: esteay812
a reply to: CharlesT

a reply to: Jiggly

Do you guys think I should just avoid them until I find out the results, it'll take several days after the tests are done, or should I just go ahead and let them know before I know the diagnosis?

If they are true friends, keep them informed.... If they care, they will understand. You have nothing to loose by letting them into your life if they are your true friend. If they are not, they won't even ask what is happening. They don't really care.

I agree with the other poster's. I do want to caution you about speaking too much about your health at work if you have employee health insurance. If your condition is expensive to treat, keep it to yourself and inner circle as much as you can, to avoid being targeted for driving up insurance costs. If the company you work for is large, it may be less of an issue than a smaller company.

I hope you heal quickly.

I have a feeling your way too nice of a person for this world.

a reply to: CharlesT

I agree. I guess it's even kind of stressful knowing that I may find out who my real friends are in this and who I thought were really aren't. Maybe that shouldn't be stressful, but a blessing.

a reply to: Onlyyouknow

Thanks, hopefully it's not a chronic condition and something that can be treated easily. I work at a small company with no insurance, have to pay for my own.

a reply to: Plotus

I'm not really sure what that means, but thanks for the reply and your time.

It was meant in the Best possible way, Wish more people were like you with kindness and compassion...
a reply to: esteay812