Regret [TRA2018]

The Rain. You can't touch it, you can't stop it, you can only be in it, or hide from it. The Rain has been one of my greatest friends, soothing my soul when I was lost to oblivion more times than I can count. She is the one constant in my life, on this planet with never ending rain. There is something timeless and ephemeral about the way the drops fall from the sky, returning to the ground that it came from, to nurture and bring life. It is cleansing, and for one such as I, who have endeavoured to open up their soul as much as humanly possible... it is a spiritual experience.

Now, turn your minds eye with the story, which now goes to one, called Rain. Currently he is engaged in a desperate battle for his soul, and his sanity, against the terrors of his own mind. The beat of the drops etch a tempo in his mind, which brings him stability and peace. Too look at this figure, curled upon himself, lying on the ground in the midst of a downpour... it would be easy to dismiss this warrior as anything except what he really is.

See, the way he tosses and turns in a mind beguiled by fear and doubt, but most of all the darkness that assails him so. What a wretch, he, and many wretched things he has done: from murder, to betrayal, abandonment and abuse... and yet, somewhere in this man's dark soul, like the calm at the center of the literal storm that rages about him, there lies something in him that denies the darkness, that lays claim to things of light, and love, of truth and justice.

See the darkness, feel it's rage as it tries to rip this last hope from the man, watch it assail him with cruelty and malice, consuming him, raking over his body and mind... and yet, deep within, the man refuses to give up hope. Even when he feels like all is lost, and that whatever god may judge him would only condemn him all the more for refusing to let go of that little spark, the only hope he ever had of redemption.

He sobs, and beats himself weakly, pulling at his hair... but all the while the rain beats down upon him, working upon him to create peace, and drive out the darkness from this man's heart. For the rain sees this man, longs to stroke his hair and make him feel that he can live in the light that he holds with all his strength... but the rain knows that he must first give up his defense against the darkness, that she might drive it out... which is something, she knew, he would never, could never do.

And so, she cries, and to any observer her tears are indistinguishable from the drops that fall from the sky. But the man, deep within his torment, feels the change in the rain, and stirs with empathy. In the apace that was opened there, the rain seeps in, tears mingled with the drops that are her essence. And so, inch by inch, she drove the evil out of his hesrt, and as her sadness grew, so did his sense of release and wonder.

She sobbed, and sobbed, because she only ever wanted to share joy with this man, but could only give him joy with her sorrow. And he... an inkling crept into his heart, containing a glimpse of her sadness, and so he reached out, to caress her face... but could not touch her, could not reach her, though she was all around him. So he sat with her for a moment, as he could.

But mans memory is short lived, and he was doomed to sit up eventually, and when he did the lingering memory of her name, which had graced his lips like a kiss, passed out of his mind and and any memory of her went with it. He only knew, as he always did, that he loved the rain, because it made him feel better than anything else could. And the rain, she was so overcome with sadness, that she didn't have the heart to keep being herself. And so, for the first time, the rain ceased to fall.

The man, looked up, and some faint understanding passed through him of what had occured, but all that he thought was, 'huh, the rain stopped.' But somewhere, deep within his heart, were etched the words: I AM SORRY. It was these words which filled him with sadness, though the darkness had departed from him, leaving no memory of the man that he had been.

a reply to: LucidWarrior

Nice one here. I like this.

a reply to: LucidWarrior


Gorgeously written

So beautifully written, filled with emotion and imagery! Loved this so much!

Thank you, Syx, Sprocket, and NightStar. I am glad you all liked it.

I usually try and write things that are hopeful and bring light, so this was a bit new for me.

Anecdote: I wrote the first paragraph with my own voice, and then led into the story, it was only when I had finished that I went back and added the part about endless rain.

I liked this, Lucid. I really enjoyed this part:

But mans memory is short lived, and he was doomed to sit up eventually, and when he did the lingering memory of her name, which had graced his lips like a kiss, passed out of his mind and and any memory of her went with it. He only knew, as he always did, that he loved the rain, because it made him feel better than anything else could

How true! We have these flashes of great, deep, metaphysical understanding and insight, then they disappear from our minds like smoke, and we're left with, "huh, the rain stopped."

Well done young man!

a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Yeah, I was able to write that because it's happened to me twice. I was sitting on a bench talking to a friend, looking to the right. I swiveled my head up and to the left to look at her, and when I was looking straight up I had this deep, sudden flash of insight where Everything made sense, oddly accompanied with a bright green light, but an instant later as I kept turning my head, it was gone! The second time I was sitting in a park with my friends all talking around me... the green light came again, in swirls of a complex design... I suddenly felt that I could speak the words that would make everything make sense. .. but I felt that no one around me would want to hear them, and so it, too, faded away.

a reply to: LucidWarrior

Yup *nods sagely*

I, of course, have had dozens of those types of moments. Perhaps even hundreds.

At least, I'm guessing I have. How could I not, because I am so awesome? I don't remember any of them like you do, of course, but I'm sure they have happened. Lots. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Kidding of course. That's really cool you have had - and even remember - those moments of insight. The fact that you don't remember the insight is beside the point - you remember that there was a flash. I think that's incredible.

a reply to: PrairieShepherd

LOL!

Yeah, you know, you are right. I treasure those two memories, even though I don't remember exactly what they contained.

I usually don't have a very good memory- and its certainly not vivid. But when I think of that green light, I can remember everything about that moment, things I usually don't see in memories, like the colors of things around me, the placement of people and objects, even tactile sensations and motion.

Alternative title: Tears in the rain

Very nicely done. It flows so well - no pun intended.

a reply to: Vroomfondel

Thank you, Vroom. Glad you liked it

Shameless self bump