My Child Was Recently Kidnapped and Assaulted.

Thank you all for your words

Yes she is under the age of consent
Thankfully this will most likely NOT go to trial due to the large amount of evidence
This predator impersonated himself as a teenager

Now the part I want some people to realize
martial arts etc will not necessarily help in all situations...my daughter had years of training in martial arts, and it was fear, her brains and smart thinking that kept her alive and actually able to help catch him so quickly. This man was over confident in thinking he could get away with it

All I can see is his face when I close my eyes
I am trying to keep myself busy but I am so distracted
I cant cry any more, and when I look at my daughter I know she is going through hell
neither of us are sleeping or eating well. She is trying though and before he was captured I slept with my hand on a gun, scared to death...no lie
I would kill him slowly if given the opportunity

a reply to: Mobius8

Remember... its a hateful thing that happened.

But only love can heal a wound like this.

a reply to: Mobius8

Jezuz christ.
I am so sorry to hear this.
I wish there was something I could say or do, to make this better on the both of you.
But unfortunately there isnt a god damn thing that can be done.

Hug your daughter, tell her how much you love her.
Make sure she knows it isnt her fault.
Sure she agreed to meet the person. But if the person was upfront saying what he was planning, im pretty sure she wouldnt of even considered it.
She was no doubt lied to repeatedly, and manipulated into thinking it was safe for her to go meet the person.

That scumbag vermin who carried out the crime, no doubt deserves to be castrated in the public square.

But this has a good news story ending to it.
I know I dont have to even say what the potential outcome could had been.
But shes at home. Safe. With you. Surrounded with love.
Again, a good news story.

a reply to: Mobius8

DP

a reply to: Mobius8

I'm glad she is back with you.

Sending you both healing energy, and thoughts of love. I've never understood why grown adults prey on children. I have a remedy, but most of society frowns upon it.

On a more positive note, I worked as a volunteer years back for traumatized youths, and the things that seem to work best were short trips to nature preserves, lakes, and being outside so they could connect with the beauty of nature.

If you enjoy camping, or day nature hikes I can personally attest to their healing qualities.

Warmest regards,

RT

a reply to: Mobius8

Sorry for all you've gone through.. Let the healing begin..

FYI: my 9 yr old nephew said he knew about sex... all kinds of sex.. some perverse.

Asked how.. He said the net. Even blocked sites, parent control and all...questioned how on a monitored comptr? He showed me.

Simple words, nothing rude or crude, and hit IMAGES... I was stunned, and I think the average parent would be too.

They can and do see and learn about everything...

Try a few normal words... in combinations yourself... We have many ways to describe many things.

Predators know this and groom these kids... Evil.. Plain evil... Again, sorry... and God Bless.

MS

a reply to: Mobius8

I sent you a short private message but also want to thank you openly for sharing your experience here.

Spreading awareness and sharing it openly can help save lives, and it also lets other victims know that they're not alone.

Also I'm still very sorry and never thankful that anyone ever has to be in your position to spread awareness or share such trauma, it's awful and I'm so very sorry and so very unthankful of it.

ily,
Lou.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: muzzleflash

My daughter was always very mature for her age, but around your daughters age we started watching investigation discovery and other shows like that, some have very mature scary content. It really opened her eyes up to some of the predators out there and the tactics they used, and then we were able to talk about it. I think 13 is a great age to really be honest about some of the monsters out there and what everyone can do to stay safe and what to look out for.

at 19 I was almost abducted (i'm pretty small in stature so they probably thought I was much younger) it changed forever how I raised my kids, and I truly believe there are a lot more predators looking to do evil things if given the opportunity.

Thanks, that's a really good idea.
I'll get her to watch some investigative documentaries about some of the horrible stuff that's happened.

Education is the best defense.

a reply to: Mobius8

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. As a parent I am heartbroken to think about it happening.

The steps I have taken are to use an android device for my daughter with family link installed.

No social media accounts. No profile pictures. No personal information.

I hope to hold out until my children are at least old enough to pay their own bills.

Even with that my daughter was receiving calls from middle eastern men, looking for girlfriends. She put up ONE profile picture and within a week was already being targeted on whatsapp. (Her name could be mistaken as arabic.)

I dont know what to suggest for you to do beyond doing whatever it is you do to get your head straight.

Vent, FRUSTRATE, let it out and then just hit the ground running.

Everything happened. Now its about healing. Remember that when in doubt if nothing else.

For everyone.

Good luck.
Heart to you.

a reply to: Mobius8

I am so sorry for you and your daughter.
I hope you both can heal.

We always think it can't happen to us.

Blessings to you both!

Oh man that's terrible and it's hard to know what to say. Thank god she is OK and the bad guy is caught. Stay strong and be there for her is all I can add. I'll remember you in my prayers.

Crazy and my heart goes out to ya. Yea I'd be livid too and want personal justice! I have no kids but have often pondered steps towards protecting them fro this type of scenario if I had them. I like the idea of GPS mentioned by a fellow poster,that can be hid away and not forgotten. I like this setup, which tucks away inside shoe.
Shouldn't all the kids have one?

a reply to: Mobius8

Castrated, Tortured, Executed. Why does it not happen to them?!?!?! Our systems are so f!@#$d up.

So angry hearing that....and I am so sorry your daughter had to experience that.

Healing now, rather than focus on blame is for the best. It is very dangerous out there, online and off. Online has created a new medium that parents need to be aware of. That of course you can't always full proof the computer or kid's habits.

I believe educating them about the dangerous territory the net can be very helpful. I started on the not as a teen in the 90s, parents observed as well as I would let them(I know kids don't want to believe it but parents are often the best determination of who they might be talking to).

It's good that you brought this to attention for your own sake of healing and letting others know about this.

a reply to: LightAssassin

so so sorry this terrible thing happened to you and your daughter....please post in here when you need to..we are here for you ((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) don't worry about all the links just come back and post them when you feel a little better.........www.youtube.com...

the link is music by Marconi Union..called weightless...it was proven in the lab to greatly reduce stress....hope it helps

Aaaaand this is why my elementary-aged kids -- until they are legally allowed to work a job, or have their own private residence doing whatever TF they want in it -- are not allowed to have/have to do the following regarding the internet:

Their own computers/tablets/phones, period. It's not necessary at their ages until they can work & buy their own. Until then, they use the family desktop, under moderate supervision. I've got it locked down enough they don't need us over their shoulders constantly, just periodic, random checks to make sure they're not circumventing anything.

Private accounts for anything aside from their desktop logon account, which is also shared between them. There is one shared email address for my kids for registering for games, but Mom and Dad know the password to it. They do not. We also vet the games they register for. If we don't approve of a game, they don't get to play it.

Social Media. Don't even ask. Ask repeatedly, and I or Dad change the desktop password for a week, you obviously need time off the computer if you're not getting the hint.

Restricted YouTube access. They may watch official music videos IF they ask first, and IF Mom & Dad say the musician/group is acceptable. The other option is documentaries/educational material.
NO YouTubers, i.e no gamers, no make-up dorks, no prankster vids, no unboxing, no BS. Falter, and it's blocked for a month, end of discussion. YT is a hot mess for kids as it is, we're strict on this one.

Until they have a job and can buy their own computers and pay a reasonably proportionate amount of the internet bill for unfettered access, it's Parental Software all day, all the way. Mom & Dad approve sites and block sites at our leisure. They may suggest ones to approve, but they will only get approved or denied after their dad or I vet them. The website restrictions are not up for debate here.
Edit: The blocking includes search engines. If they want to search for something, it's on Mom or Dad's account with them present.

For anybody trying to figure out how to initiate some internet control over what their kids do, hopefully this helps and you can get something going. This really isn't hard to do or stick to.

a reply to: JBurns Very sad this happened, prayers for your daughter and all the family. People like that SOB should be publically burned at the stake In my opinion

I want to thank everyone for their kind words, advice and stories.
Yesterday was a very bad day for me. Even though the police told me he was captured, I have yet to see any news, or article on his arrest and I keep checking. I dont know if it is because he is being extradited or what. I dont understand the whole process. I know it takes time for transfers and paperwork etc....I guess I am a bit impatient to SEE PROOF!!!! And honestly I am very leery of him returning to my hometown to spend his days in jail. I am also having a hard time driving into town too because I get to drive past the place where the crime was committed. Its a horrible daily reminder.

a reply to: Mobius8

I would drive to the police station and ask to see his arrest record.

Or if your county was like one in which I used to live, they post the mug shots of all the people arrested each day, so you may be able to find it there, depending on the county in which he was arrested.

Or drive to the jail and tell them the situation and ask them if there is any proof--they may or may not be able to answer that, so I have no clue if that will work, but it's worth a shot.

I'm like you--I would need to see proof of some sort; I can't just take someone's word for it, even law enforcement, although I don't think that they would lie to you in such a situation.

Sorry for what your child and your family has endured.
But this is why I had a policy of never letting my kids use the internet unsupervised and a complete ban of internet capable devices and phones in bedrooms.
No facebook, email etc unless I had passwords and complete access, sat my kids down and explained to them why and that I would respect their privacy unless I had reason to do otherwise.
Would often go through friends lists and make them remove anyone who was not a real world friend or family member.
A healthy, honest and open relationship with your kids helps too. My girls often came to me when they would receive unsolicited penis pictures from young men more often than you'd like to think about, so I was able to deal with these creeps. (and no it's not just men. Got 3 step sons and woman can be just as disgusting and creepy). Was good they were comfortable with and knew they could tell me anything.

Just taught them internet safety from the get go.
As parents it is up to us nobody else to ensure our childs safety.
As long as I was legally responsible for them they were going to adhere to my rules. Kids just aren't capable of making smart choices for themselves in most cases. If they could they'd all get a job and move out at 10.

Honestly amazed at how many parents just give their kids tech and let them have at it, going online and socializing with billions of strangers every day.

Seriously think we need laws regulating kids access to tech. We have ratings on games and films, kids cannot play certain games until they're 15 or even 18+ so it seems crazy to let them access something so unfiltered as the internet alone and some parents just seem to need big brother how to do things that seem so obvious.

Thankfully you got your daughter back and can begin the healing. So many others have not been so lucky.
Terrible way to learn the lesson, but hopefully others will learn from your story and avoid making the same mistakes.

Any way lectures aside. I wish your child all the best.