My friends murder suicide

A couple weeks ago my friend Tony who I knew for 37 years shot his wife then himself. Unfreaking believable. Hadn't seen him in a few months but wtf. Was with his brother last night, what a disaster

He was brought here by his parents as a child from Syria. In his early 20s, he had an arranged marriage to his wife Sofa whom he brought here and fathered 3 boys, 2 of them were in the house at the time of the shooting.

Unknown to all of us, the kids now 18 and 23, told us their father threatened his wife with a sawed off shotgun often because of paranoia from drug use, he claimed she was hiding money away and secretly sending it back to her family in Syria. None of us outside of the family knew how bad the drug use was.

Yeah he was flaky and nuts but who knew, he was like a yippy little dog, always barking but never any violence.

Don't know what to say or even why I'm writing this.

Got a surprise last night if you can call it that. Talked with the kids, turns out they heard everything, it was the usual screaming and yelling and him pointing around the shotgun but that night, boom, and him yelling oh my god, oh know, I can't go to jail the rest of my life, then boom, shot himself, their sure he shot her by accident then realizing he screwed up, killed himself, did the right thing I guess,

What a mess, what if, what if, I don't know

ottawasun.com...

a reply to: tayton

Thats sucks, humans are well, humans.

Sorry for you losses.

a reply to: tayton

Mental illness and drug addiction. My guess is, not a single person will blame the gun.

a reply to: tayton

What a mess, what if, what if, I don't know

Don't beat yourself up, you didn't do anything wrong.

Guilt and blame are part of the grieving process.

So is loss. Feeling loss is part of love. Let those feelings wash over you, they are all completely normal human emotions.

stages of grief

What a mess...

My condolences to you and his children. Can not imagine how hard it is for them right now.

Our society needs a reset ASAP.

thanks everyone. Yeah. The kids had to see the end result. Called 911 and were taken to station to make sure they weren't involved in some way, checked for residue and questioned. None of us can believe their gone......

a reply to: tayton

My daughter's friend killed himself last week.
Nobody saw it coming and the entire community is shocked.
He was on some adhd meds though.
Has to be a connection imo.

a reply to: tayton

Very sorry to hear. I agree with intrptr, don't start driving yourself crazy wondering what you could have done. The answer is likely nothing.

I am truly sorry to hear about that.

Sending my condolences to you the family and the kids. That really sucks, I don't know what else to say. I know it won't take away the pain or confusion you're all experiencing.

-Alee

a reply to: tayton

Jeezus how Horrible,so very sorry to hear Tayton!!! Big hug to you! I am so afraid that maybe the same thing will happen with my longtime friend and her husband,who are seperated. They are seperated because he almost murdered her on Valentines day last year,but they cannot stay away from each other. Her youngest daughter is my son's best friend,they've been friends since they were toddlers. Her oldest daughter was for many years the best friend of my youngest daughter Helen,we have been intertwined with that family for so many years.

For all those reading this who are having similar thoughts or know someone else who is:

Suicide is anything BUT the easy way and it's certainly not a way out because we are just as much alive on the other side as we are on this side.

Many who have attempted suicide and lived to tell about it have come face to face with the reality that we been deceived into believing that death brings peace to everyone.

"As a young woman, Tamara Laroux was in an immense amount of emotional pain. One day she decided to finally end it once and for all and she took a .38 and shot herself in the chest. What happened next was a complete and total shock to her...." Tamara Laroux

"Then I heard a voice of awesome power, not loud but crashing over me like a booming wave of sound; a voice that encompassed such ferocious anger that with one word it could destroy the universe, and that also encompassed such potent and unwavering love that, like the sun, it could coax life from the earth. I cowered at its force and at its excruciating words:

"Is this what you really want? Don't you know that this is the worst thing you could have done?"

I could feel his anger and frustration, both because I'd thrown in the towel and because I had cut myself off from him and from his guidance.

So I answered: "But my life is so hard."

"You think that was hard? It is nothing compared to what awaits you if you take your life."

When the Father spoke, each of his words exploded into a complex of meanings, like fireworks, tiny balls of light that erupted into a billion bits of information, filling me with streams of vivid truth and pure understanding." Angie Fenimores NDE & Suicide

"Angie Fenimore, a wife and mother haunted by abuse in childhood and overwhelmed by despair, was in a desperate state of mind. On January 8, 1991, she committed suicide, hoping to escape her sense of emptiness and suffering. But clinical death didn't draw her to the light seen in so many near-death experiences."

“Tell her that if she decides to go through with the taking of her life, there are eternal consequences that she will have to deal with for the rest of her eternal life. The PAIN that she will cause her daughter and immediate family members will be severe and permanent!

Angie Fenimore - NDE

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: tayton

My daughter's friend killed himself last week.
Nobody saw it coming and the entire community is shocked.
He was on some adhd meds though.
Has to be a connection imo.

Firstly,sorry for your loss,OP. Sad situation.

Bluntone22- I believe that as well. Years back I was taking medicine for Anxiety. I decided to take myself off of it.Big mistake. For a month or so it made me very quick tempered,moody and just all around miserable. I guess my point is I could see someone else doing something rash if they're supposed to be taking meds and stop. For me,I was lucky because it eventually got better. Others may not be that lucky.