Wild Turkey...(s)

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Maybe they are looking for there leader?

They should probably try the Whitehouse.

originally posted by: BlueJacket
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

1 3.5 inch 12.g turkey magnum
1 smoker
1 small pile of apple wood, some green for best smoke
3-4 friends

quick work of aforementioned turkeys

Bravo! Exactly what I would recommend,maybe a young one to fry also.KFC style seasonings 0n a young wild turkey is to kill for,lol.In city limits you might need to use archery or air rifles though.

I've been spurred by a rooster.
Pinched purple by a goose.
Plucked by ducks.
Shat upon by a pigeon.
Never crossed a turkey the wrong way.

a reply to: TheRedneck

I have two wild broods that use my yard as a pathway between forest and field. When the males join the menagerie it is pretty impressive. I sometimes call the males gobble challenge and talk smack back and forth. Also, sometimes I have to chase them off the same way - hands up be human - so I can let the dog out. I want them well away cause he really wants to eat one. But, there is an understanding... no hunting in the yard.

Geese... easy. As a kid, on a farm, with some MEAN nasty white geese, you had to learn how to deal with them. And, sad to say, it seems a little cruel.

Geese attack head first in most cases. The classic head down I am chasing you thing. I was taught just let them come at you, then snatch them at the back of the head/neck join, and pick them up at arms length (or the wing will break your nose), hold them there a couple of flaps and then, let them go... they will never chase you again. Worked for me... as an 7 year old, but, my twin sister never learned to stand fast and bolted... those geese chased her for years.

a reply to: Newt22

Yep, that's how ya do it with geese...snatch 'em up by the neck and pick em up. It's hilarious watching their pupils dilate in and out as they freak out, like "Oh crap, that was a BAD plan, now I pissed the big guy off!! Okay...I'll be nice now!"

And that goose will never do it again, another will...but only once. After that they're nice as pie. We call em our 'Attack Geese'.

They'll even give a coyote a run for their money. But one thing a goose is no match against is an owl. We've lost several to owls...the bastages.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Owls can be mean suckers. They'll take cats if they can. In the country, just about everything will take a cat.

You don't want to be near a tree with a nesting pair of owls either. Great horned owls can be nasty.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Well mail was delivered via birds for centuries, perhaps they are protesting against the loss of avian courier jobs, which is a load of gobbledygook (turkeys? gobble? i'm sure you get it) but all these mailman are crying fowl and I think they are chickens walking on eggshells, what's good for the goose is good for the gander and maybe the turkeys have an eagle eye on the mailmen and will take them out in one fowl swoop.

I'm all outta puns but I will leave with a dad joke...what do you call two crows sitting on a tree branch? attempted murder.

Haha, great post! I sent that story to my brother, who is a postman. He's had to deal with dogs, cats, goats, but I don't think turkeys have ever bothered him yet.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

We have a Rhode Island Red rooster here, with 2" spurs. He could be bad news if he wanted to, but we made sure he didn't want to when he was younger. Every time he would bow up, one of us (my wife and I) would drop-kick his butt like it was the fourth quarter of the National Championship. He's no problem now.

But I do have a war story... when I was little, I got me a pet chicken (that's right, a pet chicken). It was a White Leghorn rooster that lived in an old doghouse in the back yard. My folks had mentioned that he was getting mean, but I didn't believe it... until...

I was outside playing with one of my favorite toys, a half-inflated bicycle inner tube that I would throw up in the air and catch. At one point it fell in front of the doghouse, and I went to pick it up. Next thing I know, here comes that rooster out of the doghouse with spurs shining! I grabbed the inner tube and *thwack* right across the head. He ran off a ways and stood there shaking his head.

I go back to playing. A few minutes later, I missed the tube again, and when I went to grab it, here comes the rooster. Once is bad enough, but that was too much... I decided to play a new game: beat the damn rooster! So here I go, slapping back and forth as hard as I can, every lick hitting that rooster across the backside. I finally ran him around back of the wellhouse and he turned to fight. Bad choice. I beat on him for several minutes until he was just laying there still. I was sure he was dead after all that.

About that time, Dad came out of the house and headed to his truck. I went running toward him yelling "Dad! Dad!" He stopped and I yelled, "I think I killed my rooster!"

"I'm sorry, boy. We'll get you another one."

"No, no, that's not the problem. Is it too late to eat him?"

Of course, 30 minutes later the rooster is up walking around like he owns the place again. The next day I caught him, laid him across a log in the backyard, and Dad removed his arrogance with an axe. I watched him scurry headless across the yard, spewing blood everywhere, then helped clean him when he dropped. That was some good fried chicken, let me tell you!

TheRedneck

a reply to: ketsuko

We had an owl go after our chickens one night. We heard commotion and rushed outside to see a chicken off the roost, screaming for dear life and running like her head was on fire and her a** was catchin', feathers everywhere. We looked everywhere, but saw nothing that looked predatory. The dog was looking around like, "What? I didn't see anything."

A little while later, same thing, but this time everything was off the roost except the rooster and he was in the process of jumping down. So we go trying to catch these scared hens (my wife's idea) and put them in the coop for the night. At one point I was holding the flashlight for her under an old dead apple tree, and overhead I heard a huge pair of wings start off and then go silent.

We didn't lose any chickens that night, but we lost a lot of sleep. Damn owl was apparently dive-bombing them on the roost, but just wasn't quite big enough to grab them and take back off. Thank goodness we don't have anything bigger than barn owls here. I'm waiting on one to get the gumption up to try a turkey, lol.

TheRedneck

a reply to: TheRedneck
Ours are great horned owls, and they're big suckers too!

Had one get stuck in one of the window wells a while back. Now that was a sight! Got lots of pics of that one. Called the county ACO and asked them what to do (being protected and all). This gal asks if I've got a fishing net, and if so just scoop it out. I told her she must misunderstand...this is a BIG assed owl, not some little hoot owl. Told her...you all can come scoop this bad-boy out, but I ain't doin' it! She gets all huffy like she's talkin to some city ninny, says they'll send someone. They send this tough old gal out, seen it all and tough as nails. She gets out all huffy like and asks where this "little" problem owl is. I point to the window well. She goes stomping over there like "I'll show this guy!", steps up to the window well...and leaps backwards. "HOLY S#!!! That's the biggest freaking owl I've ever seen!!! JEEZUS!"

I just told her to have at him, and git to 'scoopin'. LOL!! She says she's gonna have to resort to "plan B". She wound up getting him out by sticking a 2x4 in there and when he buried his claws and beak into it she yanked him out, dropped the 2x4 and ran like hell!! It was pretty funny. Tiny little owl and all!

Looks like Hitchcock was right after all just the wrong birds .
The end of humans wont be nuks or war or even rocks hitting the planet .
And i do think one poster was right maybe the solution to the end game is the Biggest Turkey of all my beak is bigger then your .
Funny story would laugh to see a bunch of grow men running from a bird .
You can kick any ass useless it has feathers lol

Geese- Turkeys -chickens really ?? come on lord knows how you guys would survive a dog attack ..

Darn google death by bird attacks lol Be afraid be very afraid lol .

www.beretta.com...

a reply to: midnightstar

Swans are serious business.

originally posted by: TheRedneck
a reply to: ketsuko

We had an owl go after our chickens one night. We heard commotion and rushed outside to see a chicken off the roost, screaming for dear life and running like her head was on fire and her a** was catchin', feathers everywhere. We looked everywhere, but saw nothing that looked predatory. The dog was looking around like, "What? I didn't see anything."

A little while later, same thing, but this time everything was off the roost except the rooster and he was in the process of jumping down. So we go trying to catch these scared hens (my wife's idea) and put them in the coop for the night. At one point I was holding the flashlight for her under an old dead apple tree, and overhead I heard a huge pair of wings start off and then go silent.

We didn't lose any chickens that night, but we lost a lot of sleep. Damn owl was apparently dive-bombing them on the roost, but just wasn't quite big enough to grab them and take back off. Thank goodness we don't have anything bigger than barn owls here. I'm waiting on one to get the gumption up to try a turkey, lol.

TheRedneck

Owls have damn near silent flight...

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

LOL, I love it when the 'sophisticated' city slickers think they know what goes on out here. When country folk call for assistance, you can rest assured it's a major issue. We handle the minor ones without a word.

TheRedneck

a reply to: GuidedKill

That actually confused me at first, but then I realized... they have almost totally silent flight, but take-off is not flight. That's what I heard: the commotion of take-off followed by silence as it began flying. I never heard it leave... but I'm sure it did because everything was quiet for the rest of the night.

It also explains why the dog wasn't trying to kill whatever it was... he never heard the attack until the chickens went hysterical. Normally anything that enters this place is under immediate attack (which sucks when that something is a skunk).

TheRedneck

Just for those who have never been spurred by a wild tom kicking his last while you are standing on his neck'-it hurts.I`ve been spurred a couple times,once grabbing a bird about to flop over a bluff and once one flopped up and got me in the leg.No big deal,but if 20 or so were kicking a mail man it wouldn`t be fun if he was wearing those mail man shorts.ok,I guess I would laugh till I cried.Now a fighting rooster with metal spurs is a real danger,a year or 2 ago a guy got spurred by one and bled to death.Cruel sport and a high price to pay.