The 2017 Darwin awards are finally out

I received this in an email which I seem to get every year from someone who has me on their mailing list...Not sure if this is all true but but for some reason I do not doubt it..

The 2017 Darwin Awards are out...

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:



When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

The honorable mentions:


The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping round, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef's claim was approved.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.



An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.


Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly... He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her That's the lady I stole the purse from."


The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash..



The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]


When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!



In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.


Remember...
They walk among us and they can reproduce and, they all watch CNN

I went to the Darwin sight and one of the latest stories is darwinawards.com...

(April 2017, Argentina) "Divine punishment," said the judge, deciding not to imprison a man who shot himself in the testicles while carrying an illegal weapon in his waistband. The man lost his family jewels, his job as a security guard, and was faced with years in prison until the court ruled that he had been punished enough by a higher authority. Instant karma?

Reported widely in two major newspaper, Clarín and La Nacion, tact requires us to withhold the name of this Living Darwin Award Winner. Jobs are scarce in the man's town within Buenos Aires, and the unregistered 45-caliber Colt pistol had been given to him as part of his security job, creating a tragedy within a tragedy.

The shooting occurred about two years ago. The final court decision occurred in April 2017. Although this was reported on April 1st, my contact Luis Burgueño assures me that Argentina celebrates Fools Day on December 28th, el dia de los santos inocentes

a reply to: 727Sky


After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.



That has to stand out as next level creativity???, that man is on a far higher plain than the rest of us plebs....



RA

Damn, so Zimmerman was too late?

George Zimmerman Threatens JAY-Z Over Role in Upcoming Trayvon Martin Doc, Snoop Dogg Responds

Zimmerman:

"I know how to handle people who # with me, I have since February 2012."

Snoop:

If one hair on jays hair is touched that’s when the revolution will b televised We one 👊🏾and to thank the system let the B*tch a$$ muthaf*cca get away with murder try it again

I laughed till I got to that last one. Then I cringed and whimpered quietly to myself.

a reply to: 727Sky

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

('suck sh!t' just got it's dictionary definition)

originally posted by: 727Sky

When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

What a great tragedy.... that afterwords he wasn't able to shout "SCIENCE DAMNIT!".

Lol, some of those...

Honorable mentions to those attending church, voting in elections, and signing up with the military.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

Thats wasn't Darwin, that was brilliant.

a reply to: DerBeobachter

I found it funny because Jay-Z doesn't have hair.....

a reply to: 727Sky

The gasoline guy that sucked the sewerage, and the reaction from the park owner ,damn that's funny...

a reply to: 727Sky

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

I'm honestly not sure I would be able to convict that guy, if I was on his jury.

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.

HILARIOUS!

a reply to: Krazysh0t

Can he argue he was only asking for change, although at gun point. and was ripped off by the clerk. Just making sure he would get change by using the gun.

a reply to: 727Sky



Hmmm...this is old...

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly... He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

a reply to: slider1982

Yes, that's my favorite as well! Genius problem solver that guy!

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly... He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Haha, been there... well, not really but I get it.

a reply to: 727Sky

Most of these are years old.

originally posted by: AndyFromMichigan
a reply to: 727Sky

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

I'm honestly not sure I would be able to convict that guy, if I was on his jury.

I had read that in Chicago, a person taking a shoveled spot and leaving for the day was punished by the shoveler who used a hose to spray a fine mist on the vehicle for a few hours. Under a few inches of ice, the owner didn't get to drive it away for a while.

a reply to: 727Sky

I was expecting the GOP to be on the list after killing Net Neutrality .

While the list if funny, I doubt they are all real .

Not likely to have happen instantaneously enough to make him drop to the floor and the sewage pipes are very different than gas pipes on motor homes. No amount of crack could make you mistake the two.

Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.

A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

No mention of the lady being eaten by her pitbulls?

Eating her ribcage.