My Best Friends Fiasco. um, I mean Fiance

a reply to: MountainLaurel

Thank You for that. I lurk in the q thread and I must say I enjoy your posts, you seem like a very genuine person. I'm sorry about the delay responding I have been a busy beaver in the non digital world.

/atomic-platonic-ginAndtonic-supersonic-hugs!

Respectfully,
~meathead

a reply to: Mike Stivic

If you do anymore than what you have done you
risk losing your friend. Then who will be there for him
if it ends horribly?



You guys are way to good of friends for you to risk it by
saying or doing the wrong thing. He isn't your son. He's
your friend and a full grown man. He can only blame you
if you intervene.

a reply to: carsforkids

100 percent agree with you!


At the bottom of the last page is an update to this over two year old thread, I only bumped it because this meathead is not afraid to say he is wrong,and if I put it out there I should acknowledge how things played out.

Summing it up, I told him once, he heard me and disagreed, and that was that..

2 years later they have been happily married and we are now ALL good friends not just me and him.

Things worked out, my apprehension seems to have been misguided.



Respectfully,
~meathead

a reply to: Mike Stivic

Holy crap! I am so glad to hear that. You learned a great lesson
without having to pay the piper. Because you actually cared about
the right thing. And you've given me something to keep in mind and
I'll say it like this.

Being a good friend is caring about the friendship just as much as
you care about the friend.

Awesome thread.

a reply to: carsforkids

Perfect way of putting it, and I will say part of it is knowing someone so well,and them knowing you,to have the balls to bring it up once, and the discretion to let it go afterwards. As well as your friend listening to what you have to say and not holding it against you down the road.

Had I pushed further then, I know we wouldn't have the same friendship now. There's a fine line between earnestly caring and being honest, and meddling in someone else's relationship.



Respectfully,
~meathead

a reply to: Mike Stivic

I envy you for being wise in the midst of blind uncertainty.

My brother hasn't talk to me in over thirty years because I
told him bluntly about his cheating spouse. We were younger
and I didn't like him being in the dark about it. And his friends
weren't gonna tell him that's why they let me know. Even tho
it was true and she admitted it. I wish I would've just kept my
mouth shut rather than being reduced to only a reminder of
the pain.

Regret's a hard MFer.

a reply to: carsforkids

That is a painful loss,I'm sorry to hear that.

I thought long and hard about bringing it up to him and decided it was the right thing. I thought harder and longer about ever bringing it up again and decided it would be wrong.

I grew up in a household where you carefully weighed and measured your words before speaking.it's paid off well, as I tend to actually listen,rather than just wait for my turn to talk.

I hope one day you and your brother can reconcile.



Respectfully,
~meathead