Mean kids

For me this is one of the hardest parts about being a parent. I want to shelter my daughter away from all the assholes but I can't because she has to learn to deal with those types.
So my daughter is 5. The girl she sits next to on the bus is a little asshole. My daughter colored her a picture and gave it to her when they were about to get on the bus and the kid ripped it up right there. I was so pissed but more hurt.
It hurts my feelings so much.
My daughter asked me why she did that and I just said she is not a nice person. I told her not everyone is nice and not everyone wants to be friends.
It really does hurt me and is super hard to deal with.

It's so tough knowing your kids will have to deal with jerks and so far it is just 5 year old bull#. I can not imagine what it is like to have your kid be bullied and tormented...

It's rough

And yes 5 year olds can be assholes

I feel your pain, my oldest who is now 11 used to get bullied at school for looking different than other kids, some 5 year old kept on telling my kid she cant be canadian because shes half japanese, tore me apart, we did the whole complain to the school, sat down with some of the parents, in the end i just put her in private school.

Your right when you say kids can be assholes.

a reply to: TinySickTears

That's a hard discussion to have at 5 years old, but I used to tell my daughter that the people most likely to be mean were the ones who weren't happy at home or with themselves. I always encouraged her to feel sorry for people like this and to pray for them to get better.

a reply to: TinySickTears

The kids not really an asshole, not yet at least.
Kids tend to be a reflection of their parents so they are likely the assholes.

Your kid will just have to learn that not everyone is nice.

a reply to: TinySickTears

That was the toughest adjustment for me to being a parent, and one I still struggle with. Every part of your being wants to do everything you can to make sure their feelings are never hurt and they're never sad. And yet, if you do that for them you're setting them up for a world of grief as they get older. Luckily, they seem to sort things out on their own fairly quickly most of the time.

a reply to: TinySickTears

Life lesson that some people are dicks, I understand your concern but have a thought about projecting your own emotions into the equation.
I would've just told my now adult child to accept some people are horrible so move on and get over it, but if making it a big issue and wearing black grieving and wailing in the streets works for you I wish you well.

originally posted by: TinySickTears
For me this is one of the hardest parts about being a parent. I want to shelter my daughter away from all the assholes but I can't because she has to learn to deal with those types.
So my daughter is 5. The girl she sits next to on the bus is a little asshole. My daughter colored her a picture and gave it to her when they were about to get on the bus and the kid ripped it up right there. I was so pissed but more hurt.
It hurts my feelings so much.
My daughter asked me why she did that and I just said she is not a nice person. I told her not everyone is nice and not everyone wants to be friends.
It really does hurt me and is super hard to deal with.

It's so tough knowing your kids will have to deal with jerks and so far it is just 5 year old bull#. I can not imagine what it is like to have your kid be bullied and tormented...

It's rough

And yes 5 year olds can be assholes

I feel you. My son is very outgoing and friendly. I recall him at a playground when he about 3 and wanting to play with two girls who were maybe 5. The girls wanted nothing to do with him and were clearly talking bad about him asking to play.

It was heart wrenching to watch as their comments were clearly going over his head as he was smiling and trying to have fun. I finally had to step in and pull him away and he didn't understand why.

The reality though is that it is just life. Kids don't really have a filter so they often times are not aware that they are being mean or saying something hurtful. I know I teach my kids to be nice to everyone, to share, take turns, etc. However, human nature is one of greed and selfishness.

it's awful isn't it?

I always tried to teach my daughter to be kind especially to those who others were being mean to.

she's 28 now and the kindest person I know.

My other half works with kids she talks about this kind of stuff quite a bit.

She was saying to me once that quite a lot of the time when the school digs into bullying they tend to find that there is a problem with the child who is doing the bullying that once addressed can put it to a stop. Most of this stuff comes from the home, so for example mum and dad are splitting up, kid gets angry, can lash out and mum and dad so just picks on a individual who they view as being weaker. Its kinda interesting, its like when a 5 year old calls another kid a asshole, that is a learned behaviour usually because when mum gets angry she calls wee jimmy a asshole and they repeat that behaviour.

originally posted by: TinySickTears
For me this is one of the hardest parts about being a parent. I want to shelter my daughter away from all the assholes but I can't because she has to learn to deal with those types.
So my daughter is 5. The girl she sits next to on the bus is a little asshole. My daughter colored her a picture and gave it to her when they were about to get on the bus and the kid ripped it up right there. I was so pissed but more hurt.
It hurts my feelings so much.
My daughter asked me why she did that and I just said she is not a nice person. I told her not everyone is nice and not everyone wants to be friends.
It really does hurt me and is super hard to deal with.

It's so tough knowing your kids will have to deal with jerks and so far it is just 5 year old bull#. I can not imagine what it is like to have your kid be bullied and tormented...

It's rough

And yes 5 year olds can be assholes

I'm sorry this happened and want to comment a bit more later ...

a reply to: TinySickTears

Got a 25 and 20 year old....it won't get any easier.

What i found worked best was to arm my kids with thick skin and sharp tongues. With the older one, he had a couple super effective fists, too.

It hurts you to see as a parent...but its needed to make your kids "complete people".

i was definitely bullied that early. one of the most valuable things you can give your little girl right now is the message that everyone in the world is not going to be your friend and that's perfectly fine... and that there's no need to spend a lot of time trying to win over someone who doesn't treat you nicely.

originally posted by: knoxie
it's awful isn't it?

I always tried to teach my daughter to be kind especially to those who others were being mean to.

she's 28 now and the kindest person I know.

My daughter is so sweet. She is so nice to everyone. Always compliments people. She will tell some random cashier that she loves her beautiful shirt...
Things like that

I found it's just easier and healthier to remove your child from bad environments-they don't NEED to deal with mean kids who will be mean teenagers and mean adults. They learn nothing except hurt, heartache and at 5 years old they they don't have the tools needed to deal with that. Moving to a different school with a different environment where bullying is not allowed, much unlike public schools, really improves your child's life and self-respect and they grow more compassionate due to those surroundings.

You can't make your kid tough or not care when they are being bullied. Despite the old school thought that it make them more resilient; contraire, it just make them miserable.

If it is not possible for your child to sit away from this mean kid and the bus and the school is not vigilant, as my public school wasn't (the parents of the mean kids was named Christian!, and the VP of the school admitted he knew how bad the kids were and the parents were awful and there was nothing he could do ) get your child to a more nurturing school/environment. As hard as that sounds, your child's self-esteem and health are at stake.

Yes, I raised two compassionate and caring adult children who I fiercely protected but it paid off as they are such loving, caring adults. And it wasn't always easy but it is your job to protect and nurture them and that includes the environment they are raised in.

originally posted by: TJames
a reply to: TinySickTears

Life lesson that some people are dicks, I understand your concern but have a thought about projecting your own emotions into the equation.
I would've just told my now adult child to accept some people are horrible so move on and get over it, but if making it a big issue and wearing black grieving and wailing in the streets works for you I wish you well.

Ok well I am not projecting # to her. I did tell her not everyone is nice. Not wearing black and wailing in the streets. Just wanted to have a convo

originally posted by: Shamrock6
a reply to: TinySickTears

That was the toughest adjustment for me to being a parent, and one I still struggle with. Every part of your being wants to do everything you can to make sure their feelings are never hurt and they're never sad. And yet, if you do that for them you're setting them up for a world of grief as they get older. Luckily, they seem to sort things out on their own fairly quickly most of the time.

It's rough man. I don't want people to treat her like that but those people exist. Much prefer she learns that early. Just hurts my feelings

a reply to: TinySickTears

As a little tike, I was hung on the coathangers in the hallway, beat up, etc. It didn't help that I was significantly shorter than my peers, but it made me stronger in the end and taught me a lot about human nature and how to deal with certain personality types.

Granted, the events I'm speaking of took place between 10-20 years ago but they did help sculpt me into the person I am today, and I'm fortunate I had some positive role models and a decent upbringing. Try to provide for your daughter as best as you can and give her sound advice and don't worry too much about those little asshole kids!

a reply to: TinySickTears

Its a whole world of evil creeps out there.

You can't "shelter" your kids from the evil but as they get older you can arm them with some coping mechanisms. That being the case, I'd have to ask, why would anyone let a 5 year old kid take the bus to school? You or a responsible adult need to be in control of your kids social environment at least until the kid is old enough to begin to learn the coping mechanisms. Putting a 5 year old on a school or public transit bus is just asking for major trouble IMHO.

a reply to: TinySickTears

Conversation is cool.
I think you and other members are overly dramatic about BS school stuff.

originally posted by: TJames
a reply to: TinySickTears

Conversation is cool.
I think you and other members are overly dramatic about BS school stuff.

You didn't participate much as a parent did you? I'm not even sure I believe that you actually have had a child.