Loneliness Has Health Benefits

I'll get right to the point. I decided to create this thread in retaliation to the NYTimes Article/ATS Thread Loneliness Might Be A Bigger Health Risk Than Smoking Or Obesity. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention was at minimum involved in reporting the findings of the study. Are human emotions a topic that the CDC should be involved in? Treating loneliness like a horrible disease that will significantly shorten your lifespan seems like come kind of psychological fearmongering. The last thing you want to do to someone who doesn't know how to handle feeling lonely is to tell them they are dying from it. Is this some kind of cruel joke?



Maybe the CDC should open a 24 hour hotline for basic emotional counseling. I want to call them and tell them how mad I was that there were no more packets of mustard at work today.



I always felt confused when feeling lonely and how to handle it. For me it's unlike other emotions that are easier to deal with. Then I thought, maybe if I understand the purpose of feeling lonely I will no longer fight, run and hide from it.

Have you ever thought that loneliness should be personally embraced by the person experiencing the emotion and it can have emotional benefits that in return give you health benefits?

When you feel this way you need to accept that this is a normal common human emotion. You do not want to defeat loneliness just the same as you do not want to defeat other human emotions. That is how you can begin to use loneliness for your own benefit. Loneliness is created by yourself and the benefits are your own. It makes you a stronger person, more responsible and it can also give you time to think about what you want to benefit yourself emotionally. It puts you on a path to be able to understand what you want. It is not a selfish emotion but it helps you to look at taking care of yourself first.

What if you don't get lonely? I have been alone throughout the majority of my life. Loneliness is somewhat of a foreign concept to me.

originally posted by: SpeakerofTruth
What if you don't get lonely? I have been alone throughout the majority of my life. Loneliness is somewhat of a foreign concept to me.

I think it's more comfortable to be alone. Relationships are stressful.

a reply to: gmoneystunt



Loneliness by choice is one thing....

When you are healthy you can seek out company and friends when and if you

want.

But as you get older people you know and friends are dying so you are losing

contacts that you would in the past been able to call on.

You get less mobile, younger family members are too busy and then you really

know the meaning of loneliness.


My daughter has recently taken on the care of one such lady she has an older

sister in the same position as herself and a son with two daughters who live

three or so hours away. She was lonely, depressed and on the verge of dementia.

Her son has his head burried in the sand and cant or wont see it.

My daughter has given her tasks, such as changing the calender daily (seems

simple but it has made a difference, she now knows what day it is, as prior to

this one day ran into the other, as did the time of day.)

Her son used to have her groceries delivered, most of that was thrown out....

too much and no variety. Now my daughter takes her to a small supermarket

a couple of times a week and lets her choose treats and what ever else she

wants to try out. She was paying bills twice and loosing keys, so my daughter

has made her a filing system, made all the keys with different coloured tags.


These small things and the 'human contact' she now looks out for .... and

needless to say there is a vast improvement in her demeanor.


The moral of the issue is *choice* Is the aloneness being

chosen? or being thrust upon one

I vant to be alone.

Greta had it right. I'd like the planet to myself. I'll settle for a corner of it.

originally posted by: eletheia
a reply to: gmoneystunt

Loneliness by choice is one thing....

When you are healthy you can seek out company and friends when and if you

want.

But as you get older people you know and friends are dying so you are losing

contacts that you would in the past been able to call on.

You get less mobile, younger family members are too busy and then you really

know the meaning of loneliness.

My daughter has recently taken on the care of one such lady she has an older

sister in the same position as herself and a son with two daughters who live

three or so hours away. She was lonely, depressed and on the verge of dementia.

Her son has his head burried in the sand and cant or wont see it.

My daughter has given her tasks, such as changing the calender daily (seems

simple but it has made a difference, she now knows what day it is, as prior to

this one day ran into the other, as did the time of day.)

Her son used to have her groceries delivered, most of that was thrown out....

too much and no variety. Now my daughter takes her to a small supermarket

a couple of times a week and lets her choose treats and what ever else she

wants to try out. She was paying bills twice and loosing keys, so my daughter

has made her a filing system, made all the keys with different coloured tags.

These small things and the 'human contact' she now looks out for .... and

needless to say there is a vast improvement in her demeanor.

The moral of the issue is *choice* Is the aloneness being

chosen? or being thrust upon one

As the sole caregiver of my mother, a dementia patient, your daughter is a wonderful person. There are all kinds of strategies to improve the everyday existence of these people.

I went through a lot of Post-It notes myself. I looked after her for several years until placement in a facility last year. She's in a great place with great staff and a great treatment program. There's always music and glossy books and magazines with lots of photos. There are always activities and a lot of communication between staff and the residents.

It's a very hard position to be in, taking care of someone who is elderly and handicapped in some way. There are unique challenges.

a reply to: eletheia

This is so true for the elderly and so-called shut-ins. Loneliness can kill. Disagree all you want but feeling unnecessary or unloved or unwanted takes away the will to live-there is no purpose.

My 83 year old mother lives on her ipad-she can't drive and uses a walker and what a difference the internet makes in her life.

Shuffling away the elderly to nursing homes is so heartless-most could live with their families but not in these selfish modern times.

I have personally never felt much loneliness in my life and I have lived alone for at least a third of it but do have friends divorced, kids gone, friends left who experience it very deeply and I try to understand. To me, it's just freedom but I know it truly exists. I do suggest joining churches (if that's their thing) or book clubs or whatever but motivation seems to be missing for many.

originally posted by: SpeakerofTruth
What if you don't get lonely? I have been alone throughout the majority of my life. Loneliness is somewhat of a foreign concept to me.

Some of the loneliest people are constantly around People they call Freinds. People like movie and pop stars are lonely very often.

I am a total hermit by choice have been for over 10 years now the thought of being in a room with people is not a nice one for me even answering the phone can be a chore for me somedays .

A happy hermit

Who is lonely, I have dogs and the more time I spend around 'people' the more I LOVE My dogs...

The guy in My avatar is leaning against Me snoozing right now, "Shorty" is on the other couch and "MagWai" is asleep on some pillows He/She was able to put together..

...............

Oh, okay, is there a new medication I can take for this? What happens to 'My new friends' when the new medication I start to take in order to help Me 'mingle' causes sweaty eyelids, uncontrollable flatulence and/or death?

originally posted by: Justso
a reply to: eletheia


This is so true for the elderly and so-called shut-ins. Loneliness can kill. Disagree all you want but feeling unnecessary or unloved or unwanted takes away the will to live-there is no purpose.

Forget the love ..... respect and consideration would suffice

My 83 year old mother lives on her ipad-she can't drive and uses a walker and what a difference the internet makes in her life.

She's done well to master the technology, Is she on ATS yet?

Shuffling away the elderly to nursing homes is so heartless-most could live with their families but not in these selfish modern times.

Most dont even get visitors when they go into homes, I have

seen how quickly they often deteriate once they go in too.

I have personally never felt much loneliness in my life and I have lived alone for at least a third of it but do have friends divorced, kids gone, friends left who experience it very deeply and I try to understand. To me, it's just freedom but I know it truly exists.

Its like I said in an earlier post *choice* not *necessity* makes the

difference. You should realise that through your mother?

I do suggest joining churches (if that's their thing) or book clubs or whatever but motivation seems to be missing for many.

Lack of mobility and having to depend on others is what leads to lack

of motivation.

a reply to: ItCameFromOuterSpace

That's fact. I have always been ill at ease around a bunch of people, especially if I am not familiar with them. Hell, I am not even real fond of family functions when they're congregated at once.

Most people would say I have a "problem," but I've been this way all of my life. I guess I am just the stereotypical "loner." I'd just as soon read a book as go to a ballgame or movie. I would just as soon drink at home as go to some nightclub.

I am not going to say I have never gotten lonely, but most of it was in my youth.It's not even something I give much consideration to anymore.

At forty years of age, I have just accepted the life I have chosen. After all, it really is a choice. I guess that's why I don't understand the "I am so lonely" kick many people go on. I suppose that's why I say "It's a foreign concept to me."

I hate being alone. I think it is unnatural and I dread it to the core. There is nothing healthy about being alone or the concept of dying with no one knowing or caring.

originally posted by: SR1TX
I hate being alone. I think it is unnatural and I dread it to the core. There is nothing healthy about being alone or the concept of dying with no one knowing or caring.

Some people enjoy being alone. Some are completely healthy being alone. Important to remember that not everyone feels that way, but most do. You only feel that way when needed. The most important person in your life is yourself. If you care for yourself that is all that matters. If you have respect for yourself others will respect you. You have to be as happy and as healthy as you can possibly be because life is too short. Use your time wisely. Enjoy life to the fullest

a reply to: SR1TX

Honestly, if you think about it, it's a matter of comfortability. For some people, being around a bunch of people is debilitating. I am not talking just about sweaty palms and a dry mouth, I am talking about debilitating to the point of nonfunctional.

For others, the thought of being alone is terrifying. I have a niece who thinks you have to have a companion and 200 hundred numbers in your contact list to even be a human. I am not exaggerating at all. That's how she feels. If she doesn't have that, she feels as if she's less of a person.

a reply to: gmoneystunt

Life is long, Life is hard, life is meant to be a journey with a loved one and or loved ones (family). What you speak is Millennial Holly BS dribble sold as the truth. A soldier would never ever have that mentality and not that I am one, but everything must be done for the good and better of those around you which in turns betters yourself. So help me.