I'm getting married in less than a month but I think I have just met my soul mate.

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: worldstarcountry
a reply to: InTheLight
I only made one assumption. As I looked down the list of the people who did say call it off, I already noticed two that I know of that are in fact from the generation behind us.
Your welcome to query the rest of them, but I am already certain the percentage of them over 45 is at or above 90.

young people tend to not get married anymore, so OP is a rare gem right now. I have about a dozen friends with families right now, only two are married, and one of them is getting separated.

I mean OP does not even have kids yet, so why tell him to abandon eight years and call off a wedding over normal jitters? Thats old school thinking thats why! I merely offered a different more modern perspective with my input. Hopefully it was not offensive, because I was being sincere.

Wow, is 45 years old considered old?

Really. I don't understand this fellow typecasting older people as somehow worse as far as giving advice on relationships. It just may be that older people have been through this stuff a zillion times and having played that game, made those mistakes, and suffered through it, can see the consequences a mile away. It's not as if younger people have a better track record with regards to relationships. By definition they do not and to claim some sort of superiority there is completely naive.

Quite the contrary

Im 28 years old... and I am what you could say to be a "serial long term relationship-ist" This past year and a half is my first time being "single" in 11 years. I pretty much had 4 relationship span 11 years with weeks/months in-between...

Now that Ive actually been single, and spent time "dating" I have found that, people my age just dont want to commit. Either they want to be married after 2 weeks... or they just want to f around.

I really hate it.

I think I finally found a girl, one who I would love to call my wife, but she wont even necessarily commit to a defined relationship let alone marriage. Then again, I cant blame her, shes had some bad experiences.

In the past year and a half, Ive been really disturbed by how much people dont really have "loyalty" or "respect" for those they are.. for lack of a better word.. "courting" lol

Like me.. even if Im just talking to a girl, with the notion that im interested in her, and maybe go on a date or two... I cant even talk to anyone else, go on a date with anyone else or entertain the idea of anyone else. It just feels wrong to split attention.

a reply to: Jefferton good point and what about the baby? you will end up being in contact with her ex and you won't enjoy raising another mans baby. Probably just an infatuation though it does feel good to look. I'm sure your partner knows how you feel about the other woman anyway- If you have a good woman keep her. I stayed with my partner when I should have run for the hills.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

YES LMAO

a reply to: xsocomx

I feel sorry for your poor fiance, keeping secrets like that behind her back. You've known this girl for less than a month... I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole.

Poor girl needs to know just how wishy-washy you really are. It's pathetic.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: xsocomx

I feel sorry for your poor fiance, keeping secrets like that behind her back. You've known this girl for less than a month... I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole.

Poor girl needs to know just how wishy-washy you really are. It's pathetic.

I must say I am getting the same vibe here.

a reply to: worldstarcountry

You're a fine scumbag.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: worldstarcountry

You're a fine scumbag.

I had to wonder what would prompt such a response..

Then I read the post.

Good god.

a reply to: projectvxn

Did I overreact? Might have been too harsh.

originally posted by: Lucidparadox

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: worldstarcountry
a reply to: InTheLight
I only made one assumption. As I looked down the list of the people who did say call it off, I already noticed two that I know of that are in fact from the generation behind us.
Your welcome to query the rest of them, but I am already certain the percentage of them over 45 is at or above 90.

young people tend to not get married anymore, so OP is a rare gem right now. I have about a dozen friends with families right now, only two are married, and one of them is getting separated.

I mean OP does not even have kids yet, so why tell him to abandon eight years and call off a wedding over normal jitters? Thats old school thinking thats why! I merely offered a different more modern perspective with my input. Hopefully it was not offensive, because I was being sincere.

Wow, is 45 years old considered old?

Really. I don't understand this fellow typecasting older people as somehow worse as far as giving advice on relationships. It just may be that older people have been through this stuff a zillion times and having played that game, made those mistakes, and suffered through it, can see the consequences a mile away. It's not as if younger people have a better track record with regards to relationships. By definition they do not and to claim some sort of superiority there is completely naive.

Quite the contrary

Im 28 years old... and I am what you could say to be a "serial long term relationship-ist" This past year and a half is my first time being "single" in 11 years. I pretty much had 4 relationship span 11 years with weeks/months in-between...

I wasn't replying to you, nor were your relationships in question here. My rant here is against naive people who somehow think youth gives them an upper hand in understanding relationships. That kind of pisses me off, to be quite honest. And just what are you saying here? Good Lord, I have shoes that are older than all your relationships put together. Do you think it makes you an expert that you've had 4 relationships in 11 years???? That's four failures (though the may not have been your fault: I'm not saying that.) And THAT is an abysmal track record. Accepting relationship advice from young people is like hiring the Captain of the Titanic to head up your water safety program.

a reply to: schuyler

Ultimately, every relationship will have unique dynamics, so we all are pissing in the wind in regards to giving advice here.

a reply to: xsocomx

call off the wedding if you feel that way

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: projectvxn

Did I overreact? Might have been too harsh.

Not sure on the T & C side of things, but you're not wrong.

you mean I am honest man that does not pretend to be some virtuous knight on the internet?? Oh please, most of you self righteous are likely hiding your own skeletons in the closet.

Yes for the record, I have confessed all my sins to my loved one, and I continue to stay loyal now. I admit, I did a lot of wrong in my twenties, but I like to think now that I am old I have learned something.

Yes thats right, I said 30 is old! Because it is, and you will not convince anybody under 28 otherwise!

a reply to: worldstarcountry

I think it may be a matter of sowing one's wild oats at a young age (what? up to 24?) and learning what is trash as opposed to treasure.

a reply to: worldstarcountry

I think you've leaned nothing if you can give such advise without regard to what that might do to 2 relationships 1 of which include kids.

I did plenty of off-color things in my younger years before I met my wife. I was NOT a good guy.

But I would NEVER advise anyone to commit my mistakes for the sake of "getting it out of your system".

Why the hell would you tell someone to risk their marriage, family, and health?

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: Lucidparadox

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: worldstarcountry
a reply to: InTheLight
I only made one assumption. As I looked down the list of the people who did say call it off, I already noticed two that I know of that are in fact from the generation behind us.
Your welcome to query the rest of them, but I am already certain the percentage of them over 45 is at or above 90.

young people tend to not get married anymore, so OP is a rare gem right now. I have about a dozen friends with families right now, only two are married, and one of them is getting separated.

I mean OP does not even have kids yet, so why tell him to abandon eight years and call off a wedding over normal jitters? Thats old school thinking thats why! I merely offered a different more modern perspective with my input. Hopefully it was not offensive, because I was being sincere.

Wow, is 45 years old considered old?

Really. I don't understand this fellow typecasting older people as somehow worse as far as giving advice on relationships. It just may be that older people have been through this stuff a zillion times and having played that game, made those mistakes, and suffered through it, can see the consequences a mile away. It's not as if younger people have a better track record with regards to relationships. By definition they do not and to claim some sort of superiority there is completely naive.

Quite the contrary

Im 28 years old... and I am what you could say to be a "serial long term relationship-ist" This past year and a half is my first time being "single" in 11 years. I pretty much had 4 relationship span 11 years with weeks/months in-between...

I wasn't replying to you, nor were your relationships in question here. My rant here is against naive people who somehow think youth gives them an upper hand in understanding relationships. That kind of pisses me off, to be quite honest. And just what are you saying here? Good Lord, I have shoes that are older than all your relationships put together. Do you think it makes you an expert that you've had 4 relationships in 11 years???? That's four failures (though the may not have been your fault: I'm not saying that.) And THAT is an abysmal track record. Accepting relationship advice from young people is like hiring the Captain of the Titanic to head up your water safety program.

??

I'm not sure you got what I was saying. I was telling you that I agree with you.

I was saying that.. contrary to what you said.. I'm a young person.. and based on my experiences.. young people probably give awful advice because we seem to have less honor than those who have come and done before us (ex: you).

By pursuing this...you have a chance at ruining 4 people's lives...5 actually counting her kid.
Your subconscious is telling you that you want this because deep inside, you know the one you marry is supposed to be the last woman your ever with.

Wedding jitters. Things are just coming into perspective that's all.

If anything, ask your wife to do it like the French do...ménage trois.
That might work out better for everyone...except the deadbeat, he loses out...but not his wife, just his turn.

Also Why do you think she's your soulmate?
Because she catches you eyeballing her across the room?
Does she smile when she catches you...perhaps it's because your making her uncomfortable by leering at her all the time.

IMHO Go the 3some route.
Everybody wins, no one gets hurt...again except the deadbeat.
Pop the question to your wife when you are all drunk.
If she's cool she will roll with it. If not, you can blame the booze when she slaps you.

a reply to: xsocomx

It happens. Learn the difference between love, lust and cold feet... and also confusion and commitment. At times in your life.. .it will come at you all jumbled up.

8 years is a long time.... a lot of love in there! You know deep down the real answer..... Good luck to you and the new wife!

God Bless!


PS Don't screw it up!

You're a pig.

Have some honor and decency. She is married, you're engaged.

How about this; be honest with your current fiance, and let her decide if she wants to stay with you.

Sounds like you are at Stage 1 of a relationship - infatuation. Do you remember when your fiancee gave you these feelings?

I have been in a relationship with the same man for 19 years now, we aren't legally married, but we have two teenaged sons, and are in a comfortable space with our relationship. Do I feel butterflies when he walks in the room? Sometimes, but most times I feel comfort and security. These are completely natural progressions of a relationship.

I can't wait for the "third honeymoon" stage that will happen once the kids move out..

If you want to read about the stages of a relationship, either google, or here you goStages of relationships