I'm getting married in less than a month but I think I have just met my soul mate.

originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: mkultra11

I've never called it that...I call it trust.

We're on the same page

Hey,
How about talking about all this with your future wife?
If you are to be married, chances are this will not be the only difficult conversation. Might as well be open and honest and find out if you truly have a partner in her.

originally posted by: Jefferton
Looking forward to your "How do I get my Ex back?" thread.

Which will happen, if you act on impulse. Believe me.

I don't agree with you often, but you nailed this one on the head.

originally posted by: Starcrossd
Your'e truly being tested.. why else would this woman show up just weeks before your WEDDING?
I feel terrible for your fiance'..but understand your torment. Good luck, I bet it's mostly just jitters.. but, I hope you sort it out.

wouldnt be surprised. i have heard of crazy pre-wedding hurdles being arranged by savvy wives-to-be just for the sake of being absolutely sure. and in this case, for damn good reason. at least he hasnt caved yet. maybe ATS can save his bacon before he puts it in the wrong fryer.

originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: whyamIhere
Clearly, call off the Wedding.

Nobody should enter marriage with these thoughts.

If you don't, you will have a failed marriage.

Agree totally ^^^
Call off the wedding... you aren't ready to be married to your gf.

Be careful of this " unhappy" wife.

And beware of this unknown 'happy' soul mate.

a reply to: xsocomx

Just tell her, don't make the same mistake I did, my soulmate was and is still married and she knows exactly how I feel. I just didn't do more than I did when I first laid eyes on her, we were meant to be together.

This was the wife of my wifes brother we no longer are together but I speak to her as much as I can, the soulmate as you put it. Don't get married to someone your heart doesn't belong to

Get married. The other one is likely to still be there if it doesn't workout.

Thanks everyone.

Seeing everyone's replies has helped me out a lot. I haven't shared this with anyone so it feels good to talk about it.
"if you remove a clouded mind, will find an easy answer."

My mind has been/is clouded. infatuation is strong here.

I heed a lot of this advise and there are many paths one can take. I love my fiancee however she is very dependant on me.
I think that part of my crush is due to the fact that this girl is very strong and independent and has built up her own career and has her own business. I find that attractive in women.

Even though it is breaking me. I need to stay strong. I truly appreciate everyone who has posted.
I'm going to take this day by day and try to distance myself from the situation. Deep down I know that is the right thing to do.

a reply to: xsocomx

There is usually a co-dependency happening, maybe you need to look deeper into your relationship; fear.

a reply to: xsocomx

Hate to say this, but if you decide your fiancee doesn't seem like the right person, break it off. It's better than experiencing long term pain but please do it in a very nice way. Don't be a jerk. Sure she'll be upset but at least she'll appreciate that your honest with her.

Don't be like those jerks that kept secrets.

And remember if your American, child custody and child support laws weigh heavily against you and mostly favors the woman. One wrong woman and your at her mercy.

There are succubus in this world. I know that sounds farfetched but it's true. Many men have fallen for the tricks of woman who want your soul. They feast off of negative energy. And will devour you.

Maybe she's a good girl and trapped with a troll. You know those kind of people.

I can tell you though. What's more rare then a woman who you can't stop thinking about?

A woman that gives you her heart and soul for the last 8 years and wants to devote all that makes her who she is to the man (you) she loves and cherishes. That's a rare woman.

Go with Love.

originally posted by: xsocomx
Thanks everyone.

Seeing everyone's replies has helped me out a lot. I haven't shared this with anyone so it feels good to talk about it.
"if you remove a clouded mind, will find an easy answer."

My mind has been/is clouded. infatuation is strong here.

I heed a lot of this advise and there are many paths one can take. I love my fiancee however she is very dependant on me.
I think that part of my crush is due to the fact that this girl is very strong and independent and has built up her own career and has her own business. I find that attractive in women.

Even though it is breaking me. I need to stay strong. I truly appreciate everyone who has posted.
I'm going to take this day by day and try to distance myself from the situation. Deep down I know that is the right thing to do.

pretend there is a restraining order against you where that temptress is concerned and spend a long steamy romantic weekend with your fiance.

a reply to: starwarsisreal

One wrong man when children come along is a step into poverty.

a reply to: mkultra11

actually I said either or, not both. However, even I am not irresponsible enough to tell this man that nobody actually knows to call off the wedding. I am guessing everybody who stated as such is from the older generation behind us. Calling off the wedding would be a bad idea.

a reply to: InTheLight

Well that too. But regardless my point is being with the wrong person can be deadly. So, the OP better not mess up and thread carefully.

a reply to: worldstarcountry

You assume a lot, I must say.

originally posted by: xsocomx
Thanks everyone.

Seeing everyone's replies has helped me out a lot. I haven't shared this with anyone so it feels good to talk about it.
"if you remove a clouded mind, will find an easy answer."

My mind has been/is clouded. infatuation is strong here.

I heed a lot of this advise and there are many paths one can take. I love my fiancee however she is very dependant on me.
I think that part of my crush is due to the fact that this girl is very strong and independent and has built up her own career and has her own business. I find that attractive in women.

Even though it is breaking me. I need to stay strong. I truly appreciate everyone who has posted.
I'm going to take this day by day and try to distance myself from the situation. Deep down I know that is the right thing to do.

Sometimes, when you attraction is to a polar opposite of what you have and yet the other person seems so much like you, it means that the person you are with isn't very much like you (or what you want in another person), but the new attraction usually isn't either, it's one of those scenarios where if you took fiance and new crush and made one woman out of them that would be the perfect person for you.. (because you become blind to the qualities you do have in common with fiance and only seek to satisfy the needs that are not being met). Take a weekend just to yourself and figure out what you really want, and you might find it's not either of those girls, but instead is someone who has some of the qualities of each. For your sake, I hope this isn't the case. Alternately, if you figure out some of your needs are not being met, maybe you need to find other ways to meet your own needs. There's no such thing as a perfect person that can be everything to you, you have to make sure that you have all the support you need from a varied social circle with friends and family included.

originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: Lucidparadox

Actually, shouldn't he ask himself why is he looking elsewhere at this time?

I said that

He needs to look at his fiance and ask himself if she is who he truly wants, because if his eyes are wandering then that in itself may be an answer.

That being said, using context clues from the information he gave, the OP sounds like a people pleaser. If a girl comes on to him, even if he doesnt have any interest or desire he might be the type that cant say no properly because he doesnt want to mkae the other person feel bad or disappoint him.. it becomes a dual sided morality battle in his head. Not wanting to hurt ANYONES feelings.

a reply to: InTheLight


Oh and I say this from experience being a people pleaser.

Ive never cheated, although I have dated women I had virtually no interest in and didn't really like at all or wasnt attracted to solely because they asked me out and aggressively pursued me and I didn't know how to say no and let them down easy and not hurt their feelings. I wasted a total of 6 years with 2 separate women I never wanted a relationship with solely because I didnt want to hurt their feelings.

Its a difficult position to be in when youre the type of person that wants to make everyone happy.

The human mind is complexed box.
I know right from wrong.
I know this is wrong.

So why does it feel like I'm being punched in the heart a thousand times?

In all honesty I don't even know if this other girl even sees me the same light.
I need to know this at the very least before I can move past this.