I'm getting married in less than a month but I think I have just met my soul mate.

originally posted by: Jefferton
Looking forward to your "How do I get my Ex back?" thread.

Which will happen, if you act on impulse. Believe me.

Lol! true ;-)

You're not going to regret it forever if you don't say anything to her. In the end you'll either marry the woman you've been with for eight years and will continue your relationship with her into your further years, or for one reason or another will have broken it off with her. That is what's important. Forget about this other person and ask yourself how you'd feel if you never saw your fiance again. What you think could be wedding jitters is likely similar in that you're seeing an opportunity to escape your commitment which you feel is going to smother you. You're a grown man and can make your own choices and in the end your happiness is the most important thing. Do what will make you happy, minding that as a grown man you're responsible for the consequences of your choices. This probably seems bigger than it really is and if you remove a clouded mind, will find an easy answer.

a reply to: mkultra11

What?? If they can agree to be good swingers and only share each other, how does that not work out for everybody?? Well I guess its not for everyone. What a coincidence, I am also 31.

originally posted by: xsocomx
Thanks guys some strong advice.

I am 31 years old.

My heart is telling me to pursue.
My brain is telling my to stop you have everything you need.

The sensible thing would be for me to forget this other girl. But I cant stop thinking about her.
I just feel as though I need to know how "she" is feeling before I can work all of this out in my head.

I will hurt many in the process if I did go ahead. But is this the price of true happiness?
I have always let thing fly past me because I am so considerate of other. Selfless even.

Maybe this is a test from the gods. But it is eating at me from the inside out.

If you throw away what you established with a girl you obviously want to spend the rest of your life with for damaged goods with a kid then you are a sucker. She's looking to jump ship bc you're a nice guy she can lure into her troubled life. Of course she's your soul mate and you have everything in common! Do you know anything about her marriage problems? Stay away, cut them off. Go away for a weekend with you fiance bc this other girl is about to ruin your life. Unless you don't love your fiance and don't let it be bc you met this girl.

a reply to: xsocomx

You have one life.

You can choose to live a lie, or you can be honest with yourself and those around you.

We can only control how we feel to such a degree.

originally posted by: worldstarcountry
a reply to: mkultra11

What?? If they can agree to be good swingers and only share each other, how does that not work out for everybody?? Well I guess its not for everyone. What a coincidence, I am also 31.

That's a pipe dream. Yeah I can bang my wife and another girl and her guy can bang my girl and everyone will be happy. Bad advice for someone about to get married.

a reply to: xsocomx

Do you really think your bride to be has never gone through this too? Check yourself. She has and has let them go over you. Stop looking for greener grasses.

If you have "those kinds of feelings" then for God's Sakes STOP! Don't get married! It is what it is and for whatever reason, you have doubts. I'm not saying this for the sake of the second woman or trying to analyze HER motivations. Other people on this thread may be spot on; I just don't know. I'm saying for your OWN sake there are obviously some doubts about your current long-term girlfriend. You need to get through your own feelings first. Take a log vacation from both of them.

Tell your fiancee the feelings you are having. Talk with her about it, tell her what you said in your OP.
If you are getting married I hope you and your fiancee could talk about anything.

a reply to: mkultra11

and yet it is working out for hundreds of thousands of Americans everyday. What drives such relationships to even be possible I wonder??

originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: xsocomx

Do you really think your bride to be has never gone through this too? Check yourself. She has and has let them go over you. Stop looking for greener grasses.

Yep, that's why it's called a leap of faith.

a reply to: mkultra11

I've never called it that...I call it trust.

originally posted by: mkultra11

originally posted by: xsocomx
Thanks guys some strong advice.

I am 31 years old.

My heart is telling me to pursue.
My brain is telling my to stop you have everything you need.

The sensible thing would be for me to forget this other girl. But I cant stop thinking about her.
I just feel as though I need to know how "she" is feeling before I can work all of this out in my head.

I will hurt many in the process if I did go ahead. But is this the price of true happiness?
I have always let thing fly past me because I am so considerate of other. Selfless even.

Maybe this is a test from the gods. But it is eating at me from the inside out.

If you throw away what you established with a girl you obviously want to spend the rest of your life with for damaged goods with a kid then you are a sucker. She's looking to jump ship bc you're a nice guy she can lure into her troubled life. Of course she's your soul mate and you have everything in common! Do you know anything about her marriage problems? Stay away, cut them off. Go away for a weekend with you fiance bc this other girl is about to ruin your life. Unless you don't love your fiance and don't let it be bc you met this girl.

This a million times.

a reply to: worldstarcountry

If it works then to each their own. You're advice is for the guy to cheat on his fiance, then you want tell her to share him with who he cheated with.

And another thing, you can't get to know someone in 3 weeks...to really know someone takes living with them day in and day out for years.

a reply to: xsocomx

Heres the thing you have to think of..

If you act on it.. your are one of THOSE GUYS.. for the rest of your life you will never be able to take that back. Your innocence gone forever. Also, you would lose out on both ends if your wrong about this girl and she isnt in to you.

A bird in the hand is better than 2 in the bush.

Also, as someone else said, if you 2 do this thing... even if you 2 are in love, can you ever truly trust one another? You will know that you have both cheated or both left your significant others for someone else. That will be in the back of both of your minds, and it will never leave, causing future anxiety when times get hard. Thats the main reason.

First things first, you need to look deeply into your current fiance, and ask yourself if she is who you really want, forever. By that I mean, not someone you can just tolerate, but someone who you truly WANT. Someone who can be the future mother of your children, someone you can trust, and rely on. Everyones eyes wander at one time or another, but if you truly love your fiance you will realize the grass isnt greener. You never know someone wholly and completely in my opinion until you have been with them for like 2.5 years, and have at least lived with them.


The only instance you should go for it, is if you know your fiance isnt the one, and you break off your engagement first. Then, she would have to divorce, once you are both single... if you both have feelings still, then give it a go, but never disrespect your partner.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

Actually, shouldn't he ask himself why is he looking elsewhere at this time?

originally posted by: whyamIhere
Clearly, call off the Wedding.

Nobody should enter marriage with these thoughts.

If you don't, you will have a failed marriage.

Agree totally ^^^
Call off the wedding... you aren't ready to be married to your gf.

Be careful of this " unhappy" wife.

a reply to: xsocomx

I've watched that show Snapped one to many times to know that it will not end well. Either be a man and end it with your current girlfriend or get all thoughts of this new chick out. Do you love, really love your girlfriend, if not why get married. Getting married just because you've been together a while is not good enough.

Most likely it will pass.