I'm getting married in less than a month but I think I have just met my soul mate.

OK so here goes nothing...

I want to start by saying that I have been with my current girlfriend for about 8 years and have never cheated on her. We got engaged 2 years ago and are getting married next month. We have always been relatively happy together.

Going back about 3 weeks ago I met this girl. A friend of a friend. We have a lot in common and we get on very well together. It's almost like we are the same person. We seem to have a strong relationship seen as we have only know each other for a short time.

Here's where it gets complicated... She is Married and has a son. She isn't happy in her relationship. Her husband is a deadbeat.
We have both met each others spouses and have had a few film nights as the 4 of us.
All night we are pretty much looking into each others eyes from across the room.

We are going on a night out together this weekend with a bunch of people. And I'm worried I'm going to say something when we are drunk and ruin everything.

At night times I find myself longing for her. (not a sex thing). During the days I am counting down our next meeting.
I don't know for sure how she feels about me but if I don't say anything I may regret it for the rest of my life.

Do I:

A) Tell her how I feel and risk ruining our friendship.
B) Not say anything and risk regretting it forever. Remaining friends.

It could be wedding jitters but I have never felt this way in my life for someone before.
Please help me.. I'm going crazy!!!

a reply to: xsocomx

When it's all said and done and you need a guy who knows a guy, call me.

a reply to: xsocomx

Respect her. Its hormonal. Both of you. She ovulates right when you biologically need to do some wooing.

Its harder but its right. Stick to your girl if she is worth it. Unless you REALLY know yourself dont write in stone when it comes to what you want. Figure that out first.

Dont look at her like that. Get some space if you need to.

I have been through this. Try the long road on this one.

Advice from a stranger:

She's looking for someone else bc she's unhappy with her relationship. So she's making herself available to you. She's knows you are engaged and is disrespecting your fiance. She's trouble and selfish. Stay away from her and stay with the girl that gave you 8 years and promising forever. Unless you don't love her anymore.

a reply to: xsocomx

If you are young with no real ties sod it go for it love is love baby.
If you are older with ties it can be messy and it will hurt many but go with your heart just don't cock up everyones life because you are right it may be just jitters.
Me? I wouldn't go....be sad and end up alone all my life.

a reply to: xsocomx

Grass seems greener on the other side.

You've been with your fiance for 8 years, th8nk about all the good times and bad times you've been throigh. Relationships aren't about the warm fuzzies and flirting all the time it's mainly about partnership. If you can't commit to your current fiance, then you need to really think about your future, not with your fiance or this interest, but you.

It sounds like she isn't happy in her relationship tho, it might have gone stale and you're just the one guy she's chosen to be close to. So be careful.

a reply to: xsocomx

Oh and don't marry if you aint in love dude. I did that it sucks for all involved.

a reply to: xsocomx

It's pretty f-ed up for you girlfriend of 8 years man. You'll probably regret letting her go if you decide to pursue this new girl and it doesn't work out which it probably wont.

Clearly, call off the Wedding.

Nobody should enter marriage with these thoughts.

If you don't, you will have a failed marriage.

a reply to: FauxMulder

Sounds like a seven year itch but 8 lol.

From a former cheater, I say just bang her on the low so the both of you can get it out of your system. I been there with the second and third thoughts. Its usually just sexual tension. Have a great evening with her, or two or three, or for four - 7 months whatever. But you must not pursue this woman as a replacement for your established relationship. If she cheats on her man for you, why would she not do it again down the road if the two of you were together?? And she may think the same as well of you down the road.

I promise when both of you have a great intimate time together, both of you will realize how much you cherish the partner in your established relationships.

OR

Perhaps the four of you can enjoy a mature adult open relationship with each other. That would be ideal, but it always seems so difficult to pitch

Looking forward to your "How do I get my Ex back?" thread.

Which will happen, if you act on impulse. Believe me.

Which gal do you have more in common with and which one has hobbies that you enjoy too? I think an important variable in relationships is having similar interests and enjoying activities together whether it be golf, fishing, nascar racing, art, etc...
Physical attraction is important, but I think the summation of other qualities outweigh it, such as trust, ambition/goals, loyalty and compatibility...oh and humor too.

Which one do you think will be bring more to the relationship? Which one would be less likely to leave you for another? Which one would make a better friend?
Which one has the most money? I kid, I kid..., but the long term things are important, especially if you are looking for marriage. And yes, as mentioned physical infatuation may be misleading for it is many chemicals at work and could skew your assessment. I know how looks can just make one discard the other factors, but looks ain't everything.

Good luck cuz this is a tough one and I hope your fiancee doesn't have access to ATS if she knows your username...DOH!

Thanks guys some strong advice.

I am 31 years old.

My heart is telling me to pursue.
My brain is telling my to stop you have everything you need.

The sensible thing would be for me to forget this other girl. But I cant stop thinking about her.
I just feel as though I need to know how "she" is feeling before I can work all of this out in my head.

I will hurt many in the process if I did go ahead. But is this the price of true happiness?
I have always let thing fly past me because I am so considerate of other. Selfless even.

Maybe this is a test from the gods. But it is eating at me from the inside out.

a reply to: xsocomx

Usually in Hollywood, you'd go for the new girl and live happily ever after.

May I ask how old you are?

originally posted by: worldstarcountry
From a former cheater, I say just bang her on the low so the both of you can get it out of your system. I been there with the second and third thoughts. Its usually just sexual tension. Have a great evening with her, or two or three, or for four - 7 months whatever. But you must not pursue this woman as a replacement for your established relationship. If she cheats on her man for you, why would she not do it again down the road if the two of you were together?? And she may think the same as well of you down the road.

I promise when both of you have a great intimate time together, both of you will realize how much you cherish the partner in your established relationships.

OR

Perhaps the four of you can enjoy a mature adult open relationship with each other. That would be ideal, but it always seems so difficult to pitch

Lol that's horrible advice dude!

a reply to: xsocomx

stop hanging out with this other lady who seems to be tempting you. if you stop seeing her for a while and the feelings persist, then yes, be honest with your fiance and let her help you. she will respect you infinitely more for being honest and asking for her help than if you go behind her back out of curiosity and hormones.

also, dont get married until you figure this stuff out because its possibly a sign that you need marriage counseling before you even tie the knot. i mean look at this line

...always been relatively happy together.

is that a diplomatic way to say you have had worse? definitely postpone the wedding dude. time to figure out what is good for you instead of what you can live with.

a reply to: mkultra11

Maybe the most fun though.

a reply to: whyamIhere

In the past I have disagreed with this guy, but I'm gonna have to agree with him this time. Call off the wedding and try to do some re-evaluation of what's going on.


And this folks is why I am sometimes scared of relationships. I am scared of going to this point.

Your'e truly being tested.. why else would this woman show up just weeks before your WEDDING?
I feel terrible for your fiance'..but understand your torment. Good luck, I bet it's mostly just jitters.. but, I hope you sort it out.