What do I say?

a reply to: Profusion

I haven't followed your threads so you might have already heard this, but an ex is an ex for a reason. Sometimes it works out to keep them as friends, but the longer and more intense the relationship was, the less likely it is to be able to remain friends. The old baggage tends to spoil the reformatted relationship. If you truly want to move on and hope for a long-term relationship with a new girlfriend, you have to be willing to make the new girlfriend the priority in your life. I would never commit to a long-term relationship with a man who made his ex as a higher priority than me.

originally posted by: Profusion
I've finally got it...

If we get past the first date, I'm going to mention that I'm single, but the woman I'm going out with may frequently see me with women who are my colleagues and friends. She may even see them coming to my home, but that doesn't mean anything.

That's absolutely true. It explains everything as well. She doesn't need to know that on the first date, but she'll need to know it after that.

I don't have to mention a word about an ex coming to visit me or an ex being my friend.

I think I've solved this problem.

so your ex wife little slice of heaven is a colleague?

good luck to you man but you kind of sound like a liar and/or a manipulator.
see you around

Even the fact that you ask about this situation tells me you know something is amiss here.
In my opinion the more you keep your ex in your life the less chances are to give any another woman a fair chance. I don't believe in friendship with exes unless you completely and totally forget all your intimate moments, all the things that attracted you to her in the first place, and from the way you speak you're still hooked.

If you're so sure is "just friendship" you'd have no problem to introduce her to your new date.

I believe you still warm yourself at a fire that is extinguished. Is not fair for yourself and is not fair for the person you chose to fill up the empty space until you completely get over your ex.
Put your priorities in order, get over the past and only then proceed to find someone new. You can't have it all, no matter how much you want it, but you can make a mess for you and everyone around you if you think only at what you need.

originally posted by: and14263
Remember when you first started and you said none of your threads were real and it was all a psychological experiment?

Is that still the case?

I call it trolling.

Hoping this "sociology experiment" will reach an end *cough* please mods *hack* *spit*

It may be harmless, but ATS should not tolerate spammy repeats of the same thread by the same poster thrice weekly.

a reply to: Profusion

I've read enough here to realize you are being dishonest all the way around. You obviously are still in love, desperately, with your ex.

It's nice to keep a little something something on the side but you are just playing games-so nice to be wanted by two women

Not nice-all. You're just a player.

a reply to: Justso

Actually he likely created the whole scenario to see what people would say. He plays these games all the time and even admits to it.

a reply to: OccamsRazor04

Then, e's probably stilla virgin and emotionally around 14. Why is he allowed to continue? People do read and care about others' dilemmas. So disapointed.

originally posted by: OccamsRazor04
a reply to: Justso

Actually he likely created the whole scenario to see what people would say. He plays these games all the time and even admits to it.

Right. I remember seeing that admission as well.

The real question is: why does the staff tolerate it?

Are we going to be OP's lab mice? Or are we going to hit the complaint button and cite that OP is knowingly having a lark with the site and its members?

Are you really just wanting a thrill by dangling on the edge here with meeting your ex because you want to talk to her in person because she's interesting to you while also addicted to the excitement and drama of the possibility you could be seduced and have sex with her? I ask you because you're clear you would draw the line there if you're current gf had sex with her ex while dating you. So therefor, you having realized that and stating it here leads me to ask you if you are addicted to drama because that is the scene you're playing out in your head while requesting input from others here in regards to your unfolding dramatic story. We can see that you may be seen as more interesting to her since you have a gf who you are sexually active with and that she may find it interesting that you want to speak with her even still. You're taken and she may want to challenge that and you may want her too. The undertones here are seductive and secret with a dash of wanting to be honest and do right. This is a dangerous combination because that is not what love is as you say you still love all your ex's. Loving all your ex's borders on your seeking being of God who is love & who is THE dealer of unconditional love which is THE ultimate goal but there's irony here because they would not be considered ex's but friends and you would be incapable of being a dealer of unconditional love without God in your life. Unconditional love is only achieved through God. Had you removed from your heart and mind they and she is your ex and you wanted to visit based on friendship with also having an established and firm relationship with God, you'd be off to a super start and in a bigger lead in the achievement of unconditionally loving others. If that is your true purpose you can help yourself achieve that by keeping the principle of sex being between one man and woman in a marriage of sexual comitment to each other that is only between the two of you whether you are near or apart from one another beit said to one another in a private ceremony and kept that way or acknowledged by the standing Government. This is why it is wisely advised both parties speak of honoring this towards each other as keeping the comitment leads to virture and integrity for the couple on an individual & personal level where they can become One with God who is love and who gives unconditional love.

a reply to: Profusion

I honestly don't see an issue. I simply wouldn't date a guy who wasn't comfortable with my ex-partners being in my life. Some of them are like family to me now.

So my blunt answer would be to not date her if she can't handle a visit from your ex.

a reply to: Abysha

I don't understand why almost everyone is telling me not to have a relationship with my ex. It doesn't make sense to me because my ex-wife is my best friend. I have repeated that many times here, but people just ignore it or downplay it.

The point is that people are different. Having your exes as friends has worked for you, and it has worked for me. Why can't people in this thread just say...

"If it works for you, go for it."

No, they have to be ultra-controlling about it. It's like many of these people are trying to reach through my computer screen and drag me to where they want me to be.

It's creepy. There's no two ways about it.

I'm naturally a contrarian, so I tend to go against the consensus pretty much all the time. Isn't it interesting how hive mindish the behavior and thoughts are on a conspiracy forum?

Another way the hive mind is manifesting in this thread is how so many are condemning me for lying. I've never met anyone who didn't lie. I wrote in the original post, "I could lie." Of course, lying is always an option for anyone. I specifically wrote, "I hate lying." Those condemning me for lying missed the fact that even if I were telling a lie in that case, it would have been a white lie. In reality, I wasn't even discussing a lie. I was discussing telling the truth. The fact that I used the phrase "I could lie" through people for a loop. I'm getting branded a liar for using the phrase "I could lie" and admitting that I tell white lies occasionally. That's beyond belief.

I think you and I are two of only a handful of real contrarians here. I'm basing that on what I've seen of your posting history. This is not the first time I've completely agreed with you when you stood up to the hive mind.

You're one of my favorite posters for many reasons including that.

a reply to: Profusion
Having a girl as a "best friend" or even a really good friend, that still wants to come see you, will be a hard pill for a girlfriend to swallow. Something tells me the new girlfriend will tell you to make a choice. Her or your "friend". For me, if I started dating a girl, that had a guy friend that wanted to come see her every now and then, it would be a deal breaker. But that's just me.

Perhaps you can introduce them and that may help....may?