It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


Falling: An Epic Fantasy

page: 10
<< 7  8  9    11  12  13 >>

log in


posted on Apr, 27 2017 @ 12:00 AM
a reply to: TNMockingbird

Loved the pics Chirp!!!!!

posted on May, 1 2017 @ 01:48 PM
66 - About to be Educated

Siere purposefully called on Elder Poliara just at the end of her audience hours for the day. After discussing a few matters with the Elder, she tried to settle herself.

“Elder, may I ask your Bearer a question?” She nodded to the pretty woman with blue eyes.

“Casera? Of course, Seeress,” the Elder replied. Her steely gray manner belied a mild curiosity.

“Thank you, Elder. Casera, where were you trained? Your skills as the Elder’s Chronicler are excellent.”

“I was raised in Ynilak Maarke, your Grace, near Burneval across the Ash River from Maiel. The Seneschal of Ynilak is a renowned polymath, and I studied under him.”

“Quessak Marthuk?”

“Yes, your Grace, Master Marthuk.”

“Were you aware he adheres to the Makatan faith? The Makatans have quite different beliefs from ours. I’m surprised you felt safe with him.”

“Yes, I knew of his affiliation, your Grace, but we did not discuss our religious beliefs. He was very cordial toward me and quite dedicated to his work.” The girl’s eyes sparkled.

“I see. Very good, Casera. Clearly, he trained you well, didn’t he?” Siere could barely control her voice, the anger at this girl boiling in her breast.

“Quite, your Grace.” Siere caught an edge in the tone of her voice. Had Siere’s rage shown through? Bloody Abyss!

“Thank you, Elder,” Siere inclined her head to Poliara, then turned and left. She could almost feel the Bearer’s eyes on her.


“I have an assignment for you, Lanceguard. What is your name?”

“Galicarr, your Grace,” he said in a deep, rich voice. His ready smile showed straight, white teeth.

“In a few minutes, Sir Galicarr, a pretty young woman with bright blue eyes will come out of the chambers we just visited. I need to know where her quarters are, and I cannot ask about it. Can you find out for me?”

Galicarr was of a height with Prince Taarvaes. He had chiseled cheekbones, deep green eyes, and straight light brown hair that fell just about to his stubbly beard. He was unbearably gorgeous, and when he smiled at her she felt her pulse increase. Ach! I cannot make moon eyes over some fool man no matter how beautiful he is!

“Just Galicarr, your Grace, I’ve no lands to my name. All you need to know is where she stays?”

“Yes,” Siere replied.

“I’m not supposed to leave your side.”

“I promise I will go straight back to my apartments. You can find them again?” He nodded. “Good. As soon as you find her door, come back to my apartments straightaway and tell me.”

“Alright, your Grace, I trust you will support me if I am confronted. Lord Braeghe might consider this a dereliction of duty and he’d have my hide for it,” he said seriously.

“I can handle the Lord Captain, and I will not allow anything to happen to you because of this, Galicarr. You are doing as I have ordered you.”

“Then I am your servant, your Grace,” he dipped his head, turning to go.

"Galicarr," she called, and he turned. "Be careful of her," she warned. With a small smile, he nodded lightly before continuing.


Siere paced back and forth in front of her fireplace impatiently. He should have been back ages ago!

She tried to sit and study the Book of Voices, but could not concentrate on it.

Finally, nearly three hours after she had left Sir Galicarr, there was a quiet knock on the door.

Siere hurried to the door and flung it open. Galicarr stood there, disgustingly handsome and smiling.

"She did not come out in 'just a few minutes', your Grace," he began without preamble.

"Well, what did you find out, then?" she asked, beckoning him inside.

“Her name is Casera Anhulis Guentheratis,” he began as he entered, “She is just twenty-one, and has been a Bearer for six years. She is actually half-Burnevali, on her mother’s side. She has four brothers, one younger sister, and her father works as a clerk in her mother’s business - she is a moneylender. Their family is --”

“Bloody Abyss, soldier, did you find out where she sleeps?” interrupted Siere, exasperation boiling over.

He blinked. “Of course. She invited me for tea. I told her I was free from my duties for only a short time. She proved to be quite talkative.”

“You should be very careful with her. She is dangerous.”

He nodded. “You can feel it with that one. I think if she'd had her way she would not have let me leave. As it was, I made it clear I had obligations elsewhere and was expected. Not that I would put it past her to have ignored them. She has some quite unusual ideas.”

“She is about to be educated. Show me her quarters, Galicarr,” Siere said grimly as she pulled a light cloak on over her robes.
edit on 5-1-2017 by PrairieShepherd because: Last minute editing!

posted on May, 1 2017 @ 02:14 PM
a reply to: PrairieShepherd

G'day Shep,
I just quickly posted a la Shedde and saw that you'd posted more I came to read here first!
(ssh, don't tell anyone)

Awesome! I can't wait to see what Siere does but I know it's going to be good!

She is about to be educated." That sounds so bad-ass...I may have to use it some time.

Not feeling too wordy today but wanted you to know I really enjoyed it. As per always, waiting for the next part.

posted on May, 1 2017 @ 02:20 PM
Ooooh, Craps gonna hit the fan!

posted on May, 1 2017 @ 03:29 PM
a reply to: jacygirl
Well, I hope it lives up to your expectations. But no spoilers. You have to wait!

a reply to: Night Star
HA! Perhaps, perhaps...

posted on May, 2 2017 @ 03:11 PM
67 - Wrath of the Seeress, part 1

“That one,” Galicarr whispered as he pointed down the quiet, dim hallway. The Bearers were mostly in their quarters now, it was quite late.

Siere considered him for a moment. “What I am about to do needs to be done, Galicarr. You may accompany me and say nothing of it, ever; I will Command you or Compel you if necessary. Or you may go back to my quarters to wait. I leave the choice to you, but I will say this: what I do is necessary to protect your Lord Captain.” Then she waited. She hoped she had read the young man correctly.

“Seeress, I trust you. You needn’t Command me. I was ordered not to leave your side and to make certain you were safe, with my life if necessary. I was not ordered to remember or convey every detail of your actions.” He finished with a warm, wry smile.

Siere nodded curtly. Then she Gathered tamborae, and Worked a ward against sound around the hallway. Galicarr looked around, alert.

She strode purposefully toward the Bearer’s door. There was a click from the latch, then the door blew open inward. There was a sharp cry of alarm from within. Siere stalked inside, warding the room against sound and scanning the dimness for the Bearer. She found her sitting at a small table in just her shift, eyes wide and indignant.

“What are you --?”

“Be quiet child!” Siere snapped, her anger simmering inside. Be careful, you must not lose control. Galicarr followed her in as she Worked tamborae to close the door behind her and stifle sound.

“How dare you break in here? And you,” Casera raged at Galicarr, “I did not give permission for --”

Suddenly she was silenced, her mouth still open as if she could not close it completely. She growled in fury, hands balled into fists, and stood up.

“Let me explain how things stand,” Siere said icily. “You will not speak unless you are instructed too. You will not do anything unless instructed to, or it will go quite badly for you. I have seen to it that we will not be disturbed, so you and I can have a pleasant conversation. Do you understand?” Siere released the plug of air she had created inside the girl’s mouth to prevent her from speaking.

“Go burn, witch!”

“Galicarr, do you feel that was a respectful response?”

“Not at all, your Grace. A child who spoke like that in my household was punished.”

Siere formed a hard rod of air behind Casera. Working caan she switched the girl about her thighs and buttocks.

“You seem to enjoy punishing others who refuse to bend to your petty, childish whims, girl,” Siere's wrath teetered on the edge. “Neither the power of the kir nor the Gift are to be used for such selfish indulgences. I would have thought that you had been instructed in this. Perhaps you have not.” Siere released the switch. “Now, you are welcome to ask for mercy, or --”

“You, Galicarr!” the girl said to Galicarr, a nasty, smug tone in her voice. “Kill her. Now!” Galicarr stiffened, and started moving toward Siere, beginning to draw his sword. It had been a Command.

posted on May, 2 2017 @ 03:25 PM
a reply to: PrairieShepherd

You're going to end it right there?

I'm pretty sure that Siere has control here, so I'm not too worried yet.
But I also don't trust you not to throw something really unexpected into the mix.

Such good stuff, Shep. Definitely keeps me coming back for more.

posted on May, 2 2017 @ 03:26 PM

posted on May, 2 2017 @ 03:28 PM
a reply to: jacygirl

Actually there's a practical aspect to it. Taking it out to the natural breaking point would exceed ATS's post-character-count limit, so it has to get broken up somewhere. That's the best place to break it in this scene.

a reply to: Night Star
LMAO! That pic is perfect!

posted on May, 2 2017 @ 03:41 PM
a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Ohmygosh! That pic Night Star posted IS perfect! (purrfect, hehe)
I had the same expression on my face.

Practical shmactical.
You could have written more, and broken it into two separate posts.
You do this on purpose!!!!

posted on May, 2 2017 @ 03:44 PM

originally posted by: jacygirl
a reply to: PrairieShepherd
You do this on purpose!!!!

Well...maybe...a little...

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 12:36 PM
68 - Wrath of the Seeress, part 2

“Your Grace, I cannot resist it!” Galicarr’s voice was strained, and he moved slowly. In the back of her mind she admired his desperate, but futile, struggle against the Command.

Rage exploded inside Siere’s head, but her teacher's voice came to her mind: You must never lose control. Aomm has given you more power than you can possibly imagine. Never, ever allow yourself to lose control.

She Worked caan to force Galicarr gently to his knees, then she bound him securely, even as he continued to unwillingly struggle. She never took her eyes off the Bearer, whose expression of triumph had now been replaced with horror.

“You foolish girl. You continue to choose the unwise path,” she said through gritted teeth. She Worked a surge of tamborae, and the young woman was blown back and up against the wall, held suspended and spread-eagle, her feet several inches off the floor. Siere pressed the bonds of air down on the Bearer’s chest just enough to make her work to breathe, but not enough to suffocate her.

“How many? How many men have you abused?”

“I’ve heard about you. You are insane! Everyone knows it!”

“You can confess to me, or you can confess to Elder Poliara. One way or another, your mistreatment of our men ends tonight.”

“I have done nothing wrong,” Casera snarled. “They deserve it! They are just animals! They need to know their place!”

Siere gritted her teeth. She had not wanted it to come to this. She could not let Galicarr struggle much longer, or his heart would give out. Already his face was red and he was covered in sweat. He would die unless he was released.

“Release Galicarr, Casera.”


Siere Worked ashu, pulling up a memory of a woman caught in a fire, then she pushed the memory onto Casera's mind. The Bearer screamed, deep in her throat.

“Release Galicarr!” Casera shook her head, pursing her lips. She had begun to perspire on her forehead and her skin was red, reacting to the memory Siere had given her.

Next she pulled the image and feeling of tikri – venomous arachnids – crawling all over Casera’s skin, dredged up from another memory. She shoved it into Casera’s brain. The young woman’s eyes went wide in panic and she struggled against her bonds, shrieking in terror.

“Release him!”

“I will kill you! I swear it!” She spat at Siere.

The next memory was a woman attacked by Mons Rosian raiders who did not have kir. Then it was ges’etaaken. Then it was the venom of the kinnic. Then it was dingalaat, small flying reptiles that attacked large prey in flocks, each tiny bite containing a small amount of venom that, when compounded by hundreds of bites incapacitated the prey with pain.

The girl was weeping and moaning, trying to avert her eyes away from Siere.

“Release him, Casera, or I will see you tried for murder!” After a few moments, the Bearer closed her eyes and clenched her jaw shut. Damn! Siere thought, he is running out of time! Indeed, Galicarr’s struggles were growing weaker, and he gasped for breath, but still he fought against the restraints Siere had wrapped around him.

Siere reached inside herself for another person’s memory, and created the sensation of water filling the Bearer’s throat and nostrils. She started to choke and cough, her body convulsing in spasms. Siere let the seconds stretch as Casera struggled against the memory. Finally, she stopped it.
“Release him, Casera.”

The Bearer’s voice was weak. “No.”

She was out of options and out of time. This should have worked! Why is she being so stubborn! She rolled the dice on one last desparate gamble. She pulled up Gaalen’s memory of Casera’s visit, taken from his kir, and sent it hammering into Casera’s mind. The Bearer’s eyes grew wide again, then she shut them tightly and thrashed, her head shaking from side to side. “No! No! NO!”

When the full memory was upon Casera, Siere moved close to the Bearer, who was still pinned to the wall by unseen bonds. She leaned in, her mouth close to Casera’s ear, and spoke softly.

“I have used tamborae from sunup to sunset nearly every day for over a decade. I can show you a thousand and one acts of terror and violence. I can continue this for days. Can you?” Siere looked into Casera’s eyes, and finally saw what she was looking for. “Release him, Casera. What I have to show next you will not be so gentle.”

“Galicarr, I release you. You are free from my Command.” It was barely above a whisper, tears streaming down her cheeks, her entire body red as if she had been sunburned.

Siere released the bonds around Galicarr, who slumped to the floor, exhausted.

“Good. Now we can begin again,” Siere said. She released the Bearer from the wall, and the girl crumpled in a heap, sobbing. Siere knelt down next to her and spoke quietly. “This is what I want from you, child. First, you will release Lord Captain Braeghe from the Command you placed on him, and you will do it in my presence. Second, you will never abuse another man. If I find out you have, you will crawl to the Council of Elders naked and leashed to suffer their judgment. I will insist you be given like for like treatment befitting an apostate, and let me assure you, I am an expert in Temple law. I will get what I ask for. Finally,” she said, “You work for me. You will bring me a summary of the days’ business with Elder Poliara. Every day. In person. If you fail me, Casera of Ynilak, you will go before the Council. Do we now understand each other?”

The weeping Bearer nodded wearily.

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 02:33 PM
a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Oh wow, that was SO worth waiting for!!!! I loved it!!! (read it twice, lol)

Your characters are amazing, geez I'm running out of words to use without sounding repetitive.

(Siere...teach me!!??!!)

Badazz Siere is my hero!

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 02:48 PM
a reply to: jacygirl
I'm relieved you enjoyed it. Siere blowing the door open, stalking in, then shoving Casera up against the wall with tamborae, all ice-cold barely controlled fury - that was the spark for this scene.

When I first wrote it, Siere was just using tamborae to essentially torture Casera, but I thought that just didn't work. Siere just would not torture someone like that, and anyway it skirted the Precepts of the Temple with regard to using tamborae. But taking memories Siere now owns, now that worked. Especially taking Gaalen's. "Here's what you actually did to him, you twit!"

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 02:56 PM

originally posted by: PrairieShepherd
a reply to: jacygirl

But taking memories Siere now owns, now that worked. Especially taking Gaalen's. "Here's what you actually did to him, you twit!"

I honestly thought that was pretty brilliant...making the bearer experience what she did to Gaalen! I loved the feeling of "fury" that I felt when I was reading Siere's emotional state.

I'm not aggressive looking and neither is my behaviour.
But once, somebody pushed me too far and I actually punched him in the face and knocked him on his arse. I didn't hurt him (of course) but it did surprise him, lol. (and me too)

I absolutely loved how Siere was able to take the ultimate control in that segment.
So much so that I would buy a "Badazz Siere" t-shirt, hahaha!!!

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 03:00 PM
a reply to: jacygirl

LOL - when it gets made into a movie, "Siere's a Badazz" will be a merchandising meme, you watch.

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 03:26 PM
a reply to: PrairieShepherd

I would buy the movie AND the t-shirt!

I mean, at least it wouldn't be false advertising.
(I have a tank top that says "Canadian girls kick ass" but I've never really kicked anyone's ass, so it's misleading, yes?)

Now I think I want to see Siere and Gaalen get together.
(I don't trust you not to "icy chip" one of them outta the story!! *sob*)

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 03:38 PM
a reply to: jacygirl
If there isn't the possibility the characters might fail, then the victory is hollow, right?

I learned that lesson from GRRM (Game of Thrones). But I learned a much darker lesson from a movie, actually - Se7en. That was that sometimes, even if the villain dies, they win. I only watched Se7en once, and never will again - I seriously felt like someone had punched me in the gut after it was done.

Now, I'm not saying I have that level of darkness in me. But, in my opinion, to make an effective story, there has to be the possibility that whatever the "quest" is could fail and fail mightily.

Finally, I will say this: at it's core, Falling is actually first and foremost a love story. So there, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 03:42 PM
a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Oh really?
*puff* *puff* .... *Pass*...rofl...stop it!!

I know you're right.
I don't think I've ever really tried to write something dark (other than journals when I was extremely depressed, but that doesn't count).

It takes talent and courage to show the dark side of good people, otherwise they end up looking like "bad people" and their goodness is lost. (does that make sense?)

posted on May, 3 2017 @ 03:54 PM
a reply to: jacygirl
We are being pretty silly today, aren't we? LOL

It takes talent and courage to show the dark side of good people, otherwise they end up looking like "bad people" and their goodness is lost. (does that make sense?)

Absolutely it makes sense, and I think you're right on the money. But I think it's important to remember that our characters are not all good or all bad. If they are they are neither real nor believable. People act selfishly, they do things for their own gain, they lash out and hurt others, sometimes consciously sometimes not.

But there's always a story there. I can't remember who said it: "Life is in the messy bits" or something like that.

top topics

<< 7  8  9    11  12  13 >>

log in