What it really felt like to grow up behind the wall in an occupied East Germany.

I post this in here because it is about my experiences completely without any whitewashing or sugarcoating. If this is in the wrong section then please move it accordingly. @mods

I do apologize in advance for any incoherent sentences or foreign language i'm going to use. I will of course translate any german words into the english language. I try to ensure the best reading comprehension and link to some sources about certain subjects. I made this thread because of a member and the thread about the northkorean television. I observed alot of similiraties between NK and EG and i decided to write this thread. I did extensive research on East Germany after i discovered some discrepancies between what was written in the history books and how i remembered it. Mind you the horrible and vile actions are all true but the good things were nearly eradicated for some reaon. The same with Hitler and World War 2. I discovered that this dark period in my countries history had way more to offer than the history lessons i attended at school and the information they provided was mostly false or inaccurate. I was a real history buff back then but i blindly believed the bs they teached us. Now i draw my own conclusions.

Part One

I think a little introduction is in order because the following wall of text contains my memories as a child. This not a Spy Novel nor did i join the resistance sorry if you came here for that sort of thing. I will further more disclose a very dark secret that i kept since forever. However witnessing the increae of news about that subject and the blatant attempts to legitimise and even justify certain actions i felt compelled to tell you all about my trauma. I will spare you the details and i'm fully aware of the fact that people who experienced such trauma like myself don't like to be reminded of their own. The identity of my abuser remains unknown to this day. This is a testimony of me telling people who were in the same position as myself to speak up and don't let anyone get away with it because it's not your fault. All that i'm left is nothing but regret that i kept quiet. Let me clarify that my story has nothing to do with garnering sympathy or to seek attention because i don't care about that at all.

I was born and raised in a very small town only a few miles away from the infamous wall. I skip the part as a baby for obvious reason because i slept i burped i pooped nothing special. I was ready to go to school at the age of 6 and it was the happiest and proudest day in my life. The first day at school was cleberated by teachers and other pupils. It was more like a community gathering with friends and family. I was really excited despite the disturbing stories that i was told that included teachers eating bad children who misbehaved to serving human meat in the cafeteria. Of course it was all bs.

The one thing that struck me the most was how friendly and kind everyone was to each other. There was also no other race present in my school but it honestly never crossed my mind that this was odd. My first encounter with a black person was much later in life. I know it sounds made up but there barely was any violent behavior too. I never experienced emotions like greed or jealousy before i went to a western school. I'm not implying that every school was the same but i guess i lucked out on that one. We had an enormous amount of respect for our teachers something the world felt they had to get rid off it seems. The classes however were like real propagandacenters that i can confirm. It was always about the USSR,Honecker,DDR(GDR), and how evil the outside world was. The FDJ(Free German Youth) was always present and the school conditioned us that it was our duty to join them and that it was a true privilege. I never had the chance to join but my older brother had the distinctive blue shirt and the flag and was really proud to be part of it. I never had any problems with them and at least in my town they acted more like boy scouts. Helping the elderly or raise money for good causes that sort of thing.

My friends and i spend alot of time outside exploring the world. It was always so quiet and peaceful and it was pretty much impossible to know what was going on behind the curtains. It was a very well kept secret that i found later. I always wondered if my home was bugged by the Stasi too. I do recall some odd occurences were people in our town just disappeared overnight. The school told us that the Stasi is our best friend and they protect us from all the evil influences of the west. We had no choice in believing them. I'm glad that i wasn't born in East Berlin. They had it much worse.

My family had a few relatives in the west that came to visit us from time to time and they told us how the checkpoints worked. You were allowed to carry some items from the west. Mostly groceries or small things though and it was forbidden to take anything from the east with you when you leave. I remember different brands of food but it wasn't that bad on my side either. Granted we had mostly cheap knock offs of popular brands from the west. The variety was strictly limited and we had only a few stores in my town. It was all very cheap though. You could go into the store with nothing but 1 East German Mark and you were able to buy half of the store and still some change left it was insane. I won't go to much into detail but here are some brands from East Germany.

Vita Cola or Club Cola Muckef#ck(coffee substitute) with horrible taste. Couldn't find a specific english source but trust me you don't want to drink that ever. Most of the east german brands ceased to exist after the fall of the Berlin wall in 09.11.1989. Like i said there wasn't much variety inside our stores. I never had the feeling that i missed out on anything though.

Our Cars however were a complete different story. Instead of copying well known brands from the west they created their own. The Trabant was a nightmare. Uncomfortable,loud,slow and it was possible to punch holes into the exterior of the car just by using your fists. That's one of the reasons why the Trabant is often refered to being made from Pappe(cardboard). As a little side note i want to mention that not every household had a car back then. That's why car sharing was common and highly appreciated. The fear of crimes being commited was non existing in my town. Well almost...

Part Two

Trigger Warning It gets really dark now. I'm not angry or upset with you if anyone chooses to skip the following part.

Life was good and my parents loved me but at the age of(6-7) i can't really remember sorry something happened that forced me to realize that not every person is nice and has good intentions. I think a little background is needed again. Back then we had no sexual education at school and the flowers and the bees didn't exist for me. I never had contact with pornographiy of any kind. One wrong decision can change your life forever and i learned that the hard way. I thought alot about that fateful day and what i could've done differenty.

I have no idea why but one day i choose to take a different part home but before that i gathered some fruits for my mother. I had a little basket for the apples and i was on my way home when a guy approached me. I talked to alot of different people because i was a pretty curious kid and not shy at all. The kids today are more aware of the danger a unknown person poses to them but back then i had no clue. He invited me into a little shack and promised me that he would show me something wonderful. Because of what happened next i will not go into explicit detail and instead let you fill in the blanks or better not. After he was done with me he threatend me with a knife and not to tell anyone or he would kill my family and siblings. Something inside of me screamed to get out of there so i kicked him as hard as i could and ran back home never looking back. It took a while for me to fully understand what he had done to me but i never saw him again because the wall fell and my parents decided to move to a larger city and leave the DDR for good. I just wanted to show you that these monsters existed everywhere and you're not alone. I regret not talking about it much sooner but my life got really complicated after we moved to West Germany and it still is.

End of the Trigger Warning.

The DDR media outlets broadcasted propaganda 24/7 well at specific times. The infamous Der schwarze Kanal(The Black Channel) was a weekly propaganda show. The news were heavily edited to fit the narrative of our occupants. Fake news is a joke compared to what we had to read and watch. Real information was very limited and not easy to obtain.

I didn't watched much TV(there weren't a lot of channels to choose from to begin with) back then and i remember only a few shows but it was mostly educational stuff only. There were no cartoons but a lot of movies about russian fairy tales and fables. Stories about the witch Baba Yaga were very popular. We had some scary episodic shows aswell and one in particular that was freaking awesome but unfortunately i can't remember the name. It was about a paranormal house with monsters and ghosts who lived and acted like normal people. It was hilarious and frightening.

The most popular show of all was the east german Unser Sandmännchen(Our Sandman). It was a daily short story program for kids with puppets on strings and a stop-motion animated figure called the sandman. Ironically the west decided to copy the east german show because of its popularity but never came close to the original. You can ask every east german about this show and they will always tell you that our version was far superior.

Well thank you for reading this enormous wall of text and now feel free to ask me anything else you want to know.

a reply to: Perfectenemy

I am sorry for what happened to you, thank your for sharing your story it is very interesting and that dark part which you have shared show's you are a strong person and having told it will help many other's.

God bless and keep you and your's safe.

a reply to: Perfectenemy

It was always about the USSR,Honecker,DDR(GDR), and how evil the outside world was.

I just wanted to comment that this is one of the classic tactics of cult brainwashing - the "Outsiders", or us vs them mentality. Establish that the group is special and sacred while outsiders are villainous and antagonistic. A Hostile Attribution Bias naturally develops along this divide, meaning that people of a group assume that any action taken by the enemy must be evil, while any they do themselves can only be justified. Information control, same deal.

Once.... there was a girl from Leipzig. I spent 3 months with her and her friends all of them 'born in the DDR'. It was a great experience.


Thank you for your post.

a reply to: Perfectenemy

Now I understand more of your current way of thinking in a deleted post. I am sad to read of what happen to you as a child. If I could go back in time I would have stopped it from happening. Since I can't do that all I can offer is my friendship for your to share whatever you need to with me or others at ATS.

originally posted by: LookingForABetterLife
a reply to: Perfectenemy

Now I understand more of your current way of thinking in a deleted post. I am sad to read of what happen to you as a child. If I could go back in time I would have stopped it from happening. Since I can't do that all I can offer is my friendship for your to share whatever you need to with me or others at ATS.

Thank you though i have no idea why my other thread got canned. It's sad that people don't want to hear the truth about these things. Well i at least tried.

a reply to: Perfectenemy

You can always private message me if you need to share what's on your mind.