Do I have the right to tell you how to treat women?

a reply to: InTheLight

Ok im sorry im hi. Well from the other poster... you mean Ignoranceisntbliss? Well, perhaps he has a bias against women. I dont know he'd have to verify it for us but, it's wrong and i will always stand on the right side of life. People should be treated with equality.

Maybe he's still learning, like many of us are.

Compassion should be the rule of law imo and well that's just how i feel about it.

Do unto others ..

originally posted by: Neith
a reply to: InTheLight

Ok im sorry im hi. Well from the other poster... you mean Ignoranceisntbliss? Well, perhaps he has a bias against women. I dont know he'd have to verify it for us but, it's wrong and i will always stand on the right side of life. People should be treated with equality.

Maybe he's still learning, like many of us are.

Compassion should be the rule of law imo and well that's just how i feel about it.

Do unto others ..

I would rather not do unto others by following that example.

a reply to: InTheLight

To each their own

You asked, I answered simply.

If you don't like the answer I gave, then .... I dont know what else to say.

I'm being honest, that should be enough, should it not. Regardless of who says it.

a reply to: Revolution9

Goes both ways. I definitely have the right to tell me how NOT to treat me as a human being, female or not. I get to decide how people treat me, whether they are male or female.

I also have an obligation to try to treat people, male or female, with decency and respect; at least until they prove that they don't deserve it. I admit that I don't always succeed in this, but I have an obligation to try. Having said that, I'm more leery of males. They are bigger and stronger and in my personal experience, far more prone to aggression and violence. I know it's not "most men" but I would be stupid to ignore the fact that every time I've been beaten up or sexually assaulted (with one exception here), it's been by a man.

From my step father (violent drunk) to baby sitters, boyfriends, and my first husband, to friends and casual acquaintances, and even strangers, the multiple times I've been beaten, molested and raped have been men, save that one big sister of a friend who was female. I've been subject to violence since I was an infant, and molestation since I was 4.One female out of at least a dozen men.

It makes me nervous of every one with a penis but my survival is just more important than the potentially hurt feelings of the "good men". In my personal risk assessment calculations, the genuinely Good Men, understand instead of getting their feelings hurt anyway. So yeah, I get to choose how you treat me, as much as you get to choose how you treat others. If you don't understand why I'm nervous of men, you're a threat. Sad, in so many ways, but true.

Also, a lot of men say "Well, she should have known" and then get mad when women are nervous of them. Talk about can't win for losing. No matter what we do, someone will get upset, and in my experience, the more upset a man is the greater the likelihood he will get violent.

Yet another also, when we try to explain why we are so jumpy, we are often told we are whining, lying attention whores, which is bullying us into shutting up. So we have to be friendly to all men, which puts us at greater risk for violence or rape, but then we are being naïve and stupid so we deserve the violence and rape and then we need to just not talk about it because we are just whining for attention and/or trying to be manipulative.

a reply to: Revolution9

Do I have the right to tell you how to treat women beyond established law and order in our land? If I do not have the right to tell you how to treat women then do other people have the right to tell you how to treat women beyond usual law and order? If they do have the right to tell you how to treat women then why do they have that right? If that is so then WHERE DOES THIS NEW AUTHORITY COME FROM?

I would think it would come from people that find certain treatment or definition of others offensive or unjust and that could also include any type of bias (unconscious or otherwise) and then choose not to remain a silent or a bystander.

Tell me OP, if you were in another land, would you remain silent while witnessing men abusing women when their laws permit it? They will tell you they have the right to treat their women as per their law, so where does that authority come from?

www.marieclaire.co.uk...

a reply to: InTheLight

Yes that is true. But remember, not everyone thinks alike. The world is a much different place than it was 20 yrs ago. People are far more bias now than than they were then.

I wish it wasnt this way but it is. And i blame liberalism for it. It's destroyed the family and normality as we once knew it.

As the saying goes, if it's not broken, stop trying to fix it.

originally posted by: Hecate666
As a woman I kind of agree with OP , but I also have the uncomfortable feeling that we are talking about women here as if they are a separate species that needs to be talked about like pets or cattle or furniture.

It feels weird reading this as a woman, as if it is men talking with men about a non human thing that needs to be discussed among them only.

Again, I agree sort of about the premise of the posts reason but it is really strange not to be part of the decisions.

OP said he wants to decide for himself how to treat women...wow. Maybe you should ask women how they'd like to be treated and then adjust accordingly. You are not a woman, you don't know what we feel or think. We are also in general [! - exceptions acknowledged] weaker and less aggressive than men. You can of course treat women as you wish but remember if you can, all violent geezers, madmen and machos will also have the same right and they will do it to the detriment of another human being.

(Bolding mine.)

I think you've hit the proverbial nail right on the head.

Answer to the OP: no, you don't have that right and neither do I.

My daughter is now in her 30s and the mother of 3 wonderful children. When she was much younger but still adult, my message to her was simple: it's your life. You make your own choices. I don't need to agree with your choices. That's irrelevant. You stay within the law, I'll back you.

For me, the father-daughter relationship should come down to this: she is who she is, what she does is her choice. I do not and cannot understand every intricacy of the feminine mind or perspective. But woe betide anyone who doesn't treat her with respect as a human being.

I gave the example of my daughter, but I don't see a line in the sand here. To me, that philosophy goes for all women I know, and hence all men. I can't tell you how to behave; all I can do is try to "do unto others as I would have them do unto me". I think that's a fair standard to go by.

a reply to: Hecate666

You said it felt wierd for you to see women being discussed as if they were a seperate species.

Then, you said "you are not a woman. You do not know how we feel and think."

But wait a minute, aren't you both just HUMAN?

originally posted by: Neith
a reply to: InTheLight

Yes that is true. But remember, not everyone thinks alike. The world is a much different place than it was 20 yrs ago. People are far more bias now than than they were then.

I wish it wasnt this way but it is. And i blame liberalism for it. It's destroyed the family and normality as we once knew it.

As the saying goes, if it's not broken, stop trying to fix it.

I don't see many families destroyed within my sphere of family, friends and coworkers. Within my sphere, I see hard-working young men and women, working together, to tackle the overwhelming odds against their gaining success or a foot up financially, because it is a must these days. But, they still appear to maintain a helpful and positive attitude within a free society (if that is what you mean by liberal).

As I always reply to when people say, "Things could be much worse", I reply "Things could be much better". For things to be much better requires ending the silence and inaction in regards to tackling societal problems, such as bias and division.

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: Neith
a reply to: InTheLight

Yes that is true. But remember, not everyone thinks alike. The world is a much different place than it was 20 yrs ago. People are far more bias now than than they were then.

I wish it wasnt this way but it is. And i blame liberalism for it. It's destroyed the family and normality as we once knew it.

As the saying goes, if it's not broken, stop trying to fix it.

I don't see many families destroyed within my sphere of family, friends and coworkers. Within my sphere, I see hard-working young men and women, working together, to tackle the overwhelming odds against their gaining success or a foot up financially, because it is a must these days. But, they still appear to maintain a helpful and positive attitude within a free society (if that is what you mean by liberal).

As I always reply to when people say, "Things could be much worse", I reply "Things could be much better". For things to be much better requires ending the silence and inaction in regards to tackling societal problems, such as bias and division.

I appreciate that, very much. Not everyone can see past the dust and the sadness the world often brings. But hope brings all together if we allow it to. I think we're on the same page with this, and i understand what you mean.

originally posted by: Neith
a reply to: InTheLight

Yes that is true. But remember, not everyone thinks alike. The world is a much different place than it was 20 yrs ago. People are far more bias now than than they were then.

I wish it wasnt this way but it is. And i blame liberalism for it. It's destroyed the family and normality as we once knew it.

As the saying goes, if it's not broken, stop trying to fix it.

I am going to disagree with this. And I will tell you why. Rather than ranting or simply saying "I blame CONSERVATIVES" (which I do), I am going to tell you WHY and I do believe you and others will see I have a point.

First I'm going to say that female me is holed up in my house here drinking with a female friend. We do not go out with men. Me and most women I know have had SO MANY problems with men it's ridiculous. Men need to BACK OFF.

And speaking of "The Family" 90% of the crap you take is from MARRIED MEN. The guy is married - why is he harassing single women? Why is he even speaking to single women?

FAMILY MEN. Who are generally more CONSERVATIVE. I could on at such length about this, it would shut down the entire internet.

Now - let me tell you why I think CONSERVATIVES and, or the push for FAMILY VALUES is to blame for this. And why the Liberal idea of letting people engage in whatever lifestyle they wish is the CORRECT idea.

Because not all people are cut out to be "family men". Or women. As example - if you're more suited to being a player who wants to hit on and sex all kinds of women - DO THAT. Why should your wife, and kids, have to put up with you?

Attempting to FORCE, or guilt, all people to live this "family lifestyle" CAUSES PROBLEMS for those NOT SUITED TO IT and those people in turn CAUSE PROBLEMS for others.

And people who DO WANT to have this "family lifestyle" - who's stopping you? Is a gay person or people like me who choose to be single - stopping you?

This is why I believe the liberal position is the correct one. Let people who are not suited for certain things - do their own thing. It's like a "pressure release valve" which is a good thing because then innocent people do not get stuck dealing with ill tempered jerks who are crabby and aggressive because they are in a life *not suited to them*.

We are kids of such men also. They should not have gotten married and had kids, should've been playboys. And this was AFTER the so called 60s cultural revolution or whatever people call that.

Here's another "Liberal" topic that can be mentioned: Yes, MORE mental health care please! Because some people really belong in mental institutions. Or do you think that Charlie Manson could change his ways and become Ward Cleaver?

Please stop blaming liberals for everything. And I do believe my thoughts on this make perfect sense. ALLOW people who are NOT SUITED for a particular lifestyle to "do their own thing". Force them? And not only do they suffer - INNOCENT PEOPLE SUFFER.

And now I will RANT!

My friend is crabby from men harassing her. Also said, we were talking about a gay (M) neighbor - "At least THEY are polite!"

Yeah really, they do seem to be more POLITE. And not up in your face and harassing you all the time. This is an urban area and there are enough around here and they're ALL nice! M or F.

Maybe because they have to try harder? Maybe that's the answer - EVERYONE should just try harder to be a decent person. Not "morals" - MANNERS!!! Sure, morals too, whatever your's are, probably DO NOT HURT OTHER PEOPLE is THE MAIN THING! Don't you think?

I haven't got any grief from men lately, I avoid people. Friend here interacts with more people. Also tries to avoid people.

Besides men "hitting on you", that might be one thing, many are downright hostile. Going up to strangers and making rude remarks to them is not good communication.

OK communication, if you are at the store or something: It's a nice day today. I like that kind of pizza too. Are you from around here? Did you go to _ school?

NOT OK communication: Yeah I was looking at you, you could improve your appearance by not dressing like a man. You're not a bad looking woman but you need to gain weight in the ass. You're not a bad looking woman, you should spend more time on your appearance. Are you a dyke? You look pissed off. Smile!

One time I was at the store and waiting in line to pay. The guy behind me saw me looking at the gum and stuff, points to one of those small paperback cook books they have there, points to one and says: "There ya go, that's the honeymoon guide." EYE ROLL

WHY ARE YOU EVEN SPEAKING TO ME? FOR WHAT? And then it's immediately on the offensive, some kind of criticism, just overall hostility.

Some of these are just mad, hostile people. I read something online once, I was always baffled as to why a married man would try to hit on a younger, single woman. I saw some of their wives also and it wasn't like they were dogs or raging assholes or anything, I thought they were perfectly fine. So why hit on a single woman?

Especially when you KNOW - men are supposedly logical, right? So why don't they say to themselves: This woman can get a young, single guy. And even if I were divorced (and thus single), why would such a woman want me, who will be flat broke and stuck with kids at least some of the time - when she could get a young single guy without this baggage? No, she wouldn't want me so why should I even bother?

WHY DO YOU NOT THINK THIS? It's only common sense, right?

Well I read this thing where the writer said that they most certainly DO KNOW this, and do it anyway, strictly TO harass the woman because they are mad that they can't have her.

So you're mad over THE LIFE SITUATION YOU CHOSE, and being stuck in it, and you want something else, but since you can't have it you get mad AT IT???

That's nice.

And men think women are crazy?

And why do you have to be so hostile in your interactions with people? Especially women?

SOMETHING YOU HAVE NOT CONSIDERED:

For women like me, from dealing with asshole after asshole after asshole - WE GAVE UP ON YOU. We think all men are assholes now.

So not only did you ruin your own chances - you ruined the psyche's of women who MIGHT HAVE GIVEN YOU a chance. Ruined your future chances.

If this isn't SELF SABOTAGE I don't know what is.

Sorry, I am done reading replies to this thread. It is a new day..is it a new year.

originally posted by: FalseMove

originally posted by: Neith
a reply to: InTheLight

Yes that is true. But remember, not everyone thinks alike. The world is a much different place than it was 20 yrs ago. People are far more bias now than than they were then.

I wish it wasnt this way but it is. And i blame liberalism for it. It's destroyed the family and normality as we once knew it.

As the saying goes, if it's not broken, stop trying to fix it.

I am going to disagree with this. And I will tell you why. Rather than ranting or simply saying "I blame CONSERVATIVES" (which I do), I am going to tell you WHY and I do believe you and others will see I have a point.

Please stop blaming liberals for everything. And I do believe my thoughts on this make perfect sense. ALLOW people who are NOT SUITED for a particular lifestyle to "do their own thing". Force them? And not only do they suffer - INNOCENT PEOPLE SUFFER.

Wow that was wordy lol! Ok where to begin ...

I blame the Liberals of today for this Machivah that's been created. Now, I do so only because i know the difference and remember what they used to be like. And they sure as hell weren't like this 20 yrs ago. It's like demons from hell shifted earth into a completely different reality and then zapped everyones brains with a ray gun erasing any evidence of COMMON SENSE leaving half the planet zombified.

I hope that helps.

originally posted by: Neith

originally posted by: FalseMove

originally posted by: Neith
a reply to: InTheLight

Yes that is true. But remember, not everyone thinks alike. The world is a much different place than it was 20 yrs ago. People are far more bias now than than they were then.

I wish it wasnt this way but it is. And i blame liberalism for it. It's destroyed the family and normality as we once knew it.

As the saying goes, if it's not broken, stop trying to fix it.

I am going to disagree with this. And I will tell you why. Rather than ranting or simply saying "I blame CONSERVATIVES" (which I do), I am going to tell you WHY and I do believe you and others will see I have a point.

Please stop blaming liberals for everything. And I do believe my thoughts on this make perfect sense. ALLOW people who are NOT SUITED for a particular lifestyle to "do their own thing". Force them? And not only do they suffer - INNOCENT PEOPLE SUFFER.

Wow that was wordy lol! Ok where to begin ...

I blame the Liberals of today for this Machivah that's been created. Now, I do so only because i know the difference and remember what they used to be like. And they sure as hell weren't like this 20 yrs ago. It's like demons from hell shifted earth into a completely different reality and then zapped everyones brains with a ray gun erasing any evidence of COMMON SENSE leaving half the planet zombified.

I hope that helps.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. Machivah? What's this? I tried to look it up, Google and Bing don't know either.

I live in a Liberal / Democrat area and I don't see, ah, any kind of "demons" "zapping peoples brains with ray guns".

There are plenty of largely Lib, Dem, cities, areas - that, ah - function? You know that, right?

Are you ok in the head? Why not take a trip to Chicago! See for yourself!

I know you are losing control of your bowels at the mere mention of this