ATS Catfishes Beware.

I had a middle aged client once that was being scammed by Nigerians pretending to be a 20 year old model. The stories for why the money was needed became more and more ludicrous but he kept paying out until he'd handed over his entire life savings totalling hundreds of thousands.

The reason the scam works so well is people who have money believe they're too intelligent to get ripped off. Once they've paid out the first time it's hubris that keeps them dumping money into it until they either accept it happened and pull out or lose everything.

a reply to: halfoldman

As it happens, I am deeply unfamiliar with the idea of being contacted by beautiful women, pouring out their admiration for me with amorous intent. Tis such a rare occurrence to have such correspondence, that I feel sure the suspension of disbelief would be something taken on only after a significant investigative effort on my part, probably consisting of Turing tests and several other key methods.

The heads up however, is welcome.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
As it happens, I am deeply unfamiliar with the idea of being contacted by beautiful women, pouring out their admiration for me with amorous intent.

That makes one of us.

Want me to share some of my fan mail? The last one was hawt. I think it may have been DB, but with the lights off, who can tell...

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Who indeed!

The pitch darkness selfie is a rarely discussed art.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

LOL I've been to 419eater, love the threads, the completed safaris are the best, along with making the scammer ride a toilet bike and other fun stuff. Great recommendation sir/madam!!

I think I love you

a reply to: TNMockingbird
I wonder if the move of ATS to require a social media connection for joining is escalating this problem.

I gave up Facebook a while back, I didn't like the direction it was clearly heading. I received "I have the hots for you", friend requests from both males and females, on more than one occasion on Facebook, and an occasional Nigerian Prince, that wants to share his fortune, emails on my personal email account, but dumped them without thought.

I am not delusional enough to believe that at my age any stranger, male or female, would be that enamored with me, based only on my good looks and dry wit.

I have a darling friend that is an amazing genius, he works in the scientific industry, and makes a small fortune. Being a geek and not very attractive, he is taken advantage of on a regular basis. It used to bother me that he was being used, but I came to understand that he was just settling. He wanted a gorgeous woman on his arm, he could afford it, and he was willing to pay for it.

He was my friend, so I decided if it made him happy, it tickled me to death.

a reply to: halfoldman

Gotta lead them on first man, make them work for those banking details!
Seriously, I've had a couple of ladies like this try and weasel their way into my bank account.
Just try and make conversation, they are working off a script and unscripted replies can be hilarious.

Anyone who is stupid enough to fall for one of them deserves it. Hard learnt lesson, but someone who falls for it needs it.

I like catfish. It's tasty.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

I wonder if the move of ATS to require a social media connection for joining is escalating this problem.

I hadn't thought of that as an angle but, it would certainly explain if things are in fact escalating as far as folks on ATS being 'catfished'.
As for the rest of your post...
I can relate on so many levels!

I suppose my friend enjoys the chase (HIM being the one being chased) or the fantasy of a gorgeous woman willing to do whatever it takes to be with him, as long as he is footing the bill to get her to the US from abroad and it really only bothers me when he acts so surprised that they've asked for money again.

We dated very casually 20+ years ago and he was easy to become infatuated with any girl who was sweet or nice or smiled prettily at him then, also. He would refer to them as the next Mrs._______. He spent a fortune (vacations, flowers, jewelry and the like) and seemed very happy in his life. Interestingly (or not), he's never been married long or had children of his own. He's about 45 years old now and social media has just allowed him to expand his 'horizons', I think.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

We dated very casually 20+ years ago and he was easy to become infatuated with any girl who was sweet or nice or smiled prettily at him then, also. He would refer to them as the next Mrs._______. He spent a fortune (vacations, flowers, jewelry and the like) and seemed very happy in his life. Interestingly (or not), he's never been married long or had children of his own. He's about 45 years old now and social media has just allowed him to expand his 'horizons', I think.

I never dated my friend, I was just as geeky as he, so I was of no interest to him; nor him to me. I loved our battle of the brains and we depended on each other to stay fairly grounded in reality.

He too never stayed married long enough to have children, just long enough for them to get their hands deep enough into his pockets and bank account. He isn't a young buck anymore, he still has the eye for the pretty ones, and I fear it will be his downfall. I just hope he finds someone that makes him happy, even if he has to pay for it.

a reply to: DBCowboy

LOl.

And just to reiterate, I'm not saying this or that person is a catfish.

Sometimes people are also just nice to each other.

I was just thinking of how easily it could be done these days.

In past ages ATS was pretty anonymous, but nowadays we have pics and everything connects to everything else.
I guess nowadays, it's good to be suspicious (although suspicion is no proof of anything), but sometimes you have no idea who is sitting on the other end.
We all have our weak spots, and just urging caution.
But I'm certainly not suggesting any kind of witch-hunt, or that people shouldn't be nice to each other.
We don't know if somebody is just being nice, or softening you up to extract information.
What happened to me on another site might have nothing to do with ATS whatsoever.
It's about the interwebs in general.

a reply to: savemebarry

Sorry, it's not a lie. I may know of whom you speak, but you know what, most of the time, it's not like that.......I stand by my statement. They met, they talked, they were both miserable in their marriages, the one wife went nutso, hitting up everybody and claiming all sorts of crazy stuff. It doesn't make what I wrote wrong. They spend a long time together IN PERSON before marrying.

It's possible on, as ignorant-ape calls it, Farcebook, to restrict requests so only you, and people who are friends with your current friends, can extend the hand of friendship. Same with allowing people to send messages to you.



Thus, I have never had a friend request or solicitation from a random person on Facebook trying to obtain my details. Emails are another story, but they're so obvious. Don't even click on them. Straight in the trash they go! And I haven't had any such attempts here on ATS.

Also. I fail to understand how people even fall for this level of Catfishing. I can understand people being lonely and vulnerable and being pleased and excited that someone is actually paying attention to them. BUT. In this day where Skype is readily available so you can see who you are talking to while you are speaking with them, phonecalls, internet sleuthing to see if said person actually exists....

I don't understand how people can fall for and suffer through the whole - "Oh, I've been dating this person online for 2 years now... I love them so much... ummmmm. We've never spoken on the phone, they refuse to videochat with me, I know nothing of their family or their day to day life, we have never met or anything but they have sent me alllll of these gorgeous perfect photos! And I have sent them a lot of money and gifts! We're in love!!! We'll meet one day and be together!!! Oh, now I have no money... I'm completely broke... and they've stopped talking to me... they've completely vanished..."

I have no problem with people meeting online. I know a few couples who have met online, one of these couples being married for 11-12 years now. But simply, if they refuse to videochat, refuse to talk on the phone or be open with you, they have a sobstory about how they need money please help them they only need $50, now they need $100, now it's a thousand, now they need more and more and more and they love you so much please help them they desperately need this cash!... it's clearly a farce.

a reply to: kaelci

Of course you are right, I think. Folks just find others at their most vulnerable times, sometimes, and when they are weak. I've known few couples who have met online as well and are still together. Happy? I dunno but, together and that is what they want apparently, to be with someone.

I think that some folks are desperate for a 'romantic' type of love. I know of someone, very close to me, who is unable to leave a relationship and take some time for themselves. They simply must be in love or tangled up with someone else romantically.

I just think it's a shame. I don't know why people 'fall' for the scam that they do but, it speaks loudly about the loneliness and hunger for human contact and tenderness and understanding that folks (who fall for the scams) must be crying out for.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

I just think it's a shame. I don't know why people 'fall' for the scam that they do but, it speaks loudly about the loneliness and hunger for human contact and tenderness and understanding that folks (who fall for the scams) must be crying out for.

What I feel is sad is that a lot of the sites are not scams. The people that know exactly what they are getting is just a fantasy trip.

I have a friend who has a daughter that makes over $200,000.00 dollars a year, doing nothing but Facetiming and Skyping groups of guys, while they compete over how much money they are sending her. She just sits there and talks, coos, and awes, about how wonderful they are.

Some of these guys are children so they have an excuse, many are not.