Confessions Anonymous

Hello, my name is knowledgehunter0986, aka KH, aka Hunter, aka nobody special and I have an addiction. I am addicted to ATS. Having lurked for well over a decade, I thought I had a clear grasp of what I was getting into and when I finally joined, the high I instantly got took over me and sent me down a path of self-destruction. (Very very melodramatic)

It turned me into a narcissist. I started to care too much about stars, more than a regular person should, it was all about me and how much stars I could harvest. With every additional green star that popped up beside my name, my ego grew along with it and eventually I started to look at those with less star-harvesting skills as inferior to me.

It also has made me quite pretentious. Eventually I would wait for a new thread, usually partisan ones of either side and leave my snarky remarks and then expect my stars, thinking it added some intrinsic value to me or my name.

One thing to my credit though, I was never flag hungry and avoided making my own flag-harvesting partisan threads, even though I practically lived in the Mud-Pit. I guess it was my subconscious keeping me in check.

But then I started to get more and more flags. I would feel more important and valuable with every additional flag, even sometimes refreshing the page hoping for a new one and when I didn't get one, it would bruise my ego.

It has also turned me into a hypocrite. I would often morph into the same thing I claim to despise, for the sake of stars or just for the sport of "winning". What am I really winning? I became rude and condescending, I thought I was smarter than my entire opposition and I became very insensitive to other people's feelings. The truth is I'm sensitive myself and maybe that's what drives my fervor.

The one silver lining that runs through this entire dynamic was that I was able to learn so much. I learned so much about other people and especially so much about myself in such a short time, ultimately re-finding myself. This is why I can confidently confess these things to you.

Now I've been few weeks sober from all the mud fights, but it has given me much needed time to reflect and I've come to realize and learn what really gives me value here. It's the same things that brought me here to begin with. Learning and sharing knowledge, reading and sharing interesting stories, meeting and conversing with friendly people and just sharing good and positive energy. This is what I'm really about, contrary to popular belief.

Now I will confess ahead of time, that I will still show up once in awhile and throw some mud from the bushes, if only to keep my arm sharp. No hard feelings.

So with all that being said..

Find me where the wild things are.. or maybe the shed

These are my confessions, what are yours?

(water)

I have to confess, I do not give confessions.

a reply to: rickymouse

Thanks for your confession

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Thankyou for sharing. There is free coffee and Timbits in the back of the room.

I confess that I did not vote in the 2016 election. First time in decades. I just couldn't see my way to vote for anyone who was running.

I will confess that I have 49 flags. One more and I will have 50!

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Make it 50!

originally posted by: reldra
a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Thankyou for sharing. There is free coffee and Timbits in the back of the room.

mmmmm timbits.

Good on you to be able to know when you where wrong, i dont think we ever agreed on anything but i raise my glass to you.

I drink way too much, thats my confession for today.

Sweeeet! You guys are awesome!

Nice one, thanx.

I have to watch boring dvd directors commentaries every night to go to sleep. Any dvd. Even disney. As long as the voice is smooth and really boring. And... I love watching fake tv preachers. Just the really fake zapping out of wheelchairs ones. Highly entertaining. But everyone else gets mad cuz i watch em so much

I confess I stopped buying kleenex, tissues, napkins, and paper towels.

I just use cheap toilet paper for everything now

Sometimes I pee in the shower. Just don't twist that around though.

originally posted by: Freija
Sometimes I pee in the shower.

Eh that's normal, unless you're not actually inside the shower taking a shower

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
I will confess that I have 49 flags. One more and I will have 50!

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Make it 50!

I just starred you, it was your 1,500th. Cheers.

a reply to: Ameilia

Ha! What a good day! 1500 stars and I'm watching the cheesy 80's film the ice pirates. Nothing is wrong in my world. You rock.

I confess to be still totally ignorant of those statistics; am too self-conscious to start a thread; don't care about stars-flags and don't really care if I have "popular" opinions. I want to learn and listen. I can get angry at constant commenters who bang that same old drum and completely dislike threads that turn into the the argument society-and I am very angry at one mod right now.

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Mark (Springer) discusses the Digital Ego

If anyone can remember - either Mark, Bill or one of the mods did an excellent thread on the 'stages of an ATS member' where you start out all excited jumping in on lots of threads, then you slowly start to get cynical, then you take a break, then you come back and give zero flux as you eventually accept it's like a drug of sorts and that once the honeymoon period is over, we're just a bunch of sarcastic and cynical bastards with zero tolerance for 'normal'.

a reply to: Sublimecraft

Ah, so there is a word for it lol. Thanks for that link.

originally posted by: VictorVonDoom
I confess that I did not vote in the 2016 election. First time in decades. I just couldn't see my way to vote for anyone who was running.

If they would have been walking it would have been easier to pin a ballot on them.

i admit NOTHING