It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


The matrix is real - guide to dodging bullets.

page: 1

log in


posted on Mar, 8 2017 @ 04:26 PM
I thought I'd throw together a quick guide for the wannabe Neo's out there who want to develop a special power.

The power isn't dodging bullets, the power is to re-create the world in your own mind the way you want to think it really is, reality notwithstanding.

The bullet dodging is the technique employed to achieve this state of eternal, inner-fantasy.

Before you can apply and enjoy the benefits of these techniques you need a handle by which you can employ them effectively. You must begin by realising or creating a false narrative which you will 100% stand beside. You will base this entirely on feelings, or something someone once told you.

I'll give an example - the belief that people are born instinctively evil and are pre-destined to become axe-weilding maniacs. You must assert with 100% certainty that there are no external influences or circumstances that will lead to an individual becoming an axe weilding murderer and that the person will become that without any external influences whatsoever. This is just an example, you can apply these techniques to almost any fantasy reality you deem fit to create in your head.

So let's assume all axe murderers are born with this insatiable appetite...even if you were to raise said person in a desert where there isn't an axe within a 1,000 mile radius...even is said person is never even exposed to the concept of murder and has absolutely nothing to gain from it...they'll simply come up with the idea themselves. They will effectively invent the axe and realise they can use it to chop off peoples bits and that people with bits chopped off will most likely die. the more they think about it...the more aroused they are by the idea.

Now that you have this absurd premise by which you can work, it's time to learn some bullet-dodging techniques that you can use to prevent rational people from shattering your idealistic little world.

1. Outright ignorance.

This isn't the best technique but it can be effective, sometimes.

Someone will most likely confront you at some point and ask you something like:

How is it even possible for someone to have this yearning to murder someone with an axe, specifically...if said person doesn't even know what an axe is or what it can be used for?

The best way to handle something like this would be with total ignorance. Ignorance doesn't mean you understand and neglect to address the question or points made...but that the questions/points raised will simply will not register in your head, they won't be processed like the comments in a piece of source code. It'll be like reading or listening to a foreign language, a concept so alien to you that you can't even begin to entertain it let alone actually contemplate it and reach a conclusion.

2. Selective trivialisation.

You might decide that ignorance won't quite cut the mustard, and that selective trivialisation is a better approach. A good example would be to isolate a particularly benign word, phrase or point made or used by your critic or opponent. Think of it as a smoke and mirrors tactic. With this technique you can often trick others, perhaps even trick your opponent and yourself into believing you successfully addressed and rebuked what was actually quite a relevant point - exmaple:

Why would he become an axe murderer...he lives in the desert and there weren't any axes for a 1,000 mile radius. He had no human contact except for with his desert dwelling parents who also don't know what an axe is. There is no axe for him to kill with...

So...he could travel 1,000 miles to acquire an axe! People are free to travel you know.

Yeah, it sounds like you answered that question and made a good point, but it was a deflection that will only fool so many. The keen-eyed opponent may see through this and follow that up by asking why someone would travel 1,000 miles to acquire an object they don't know actually exists. If they do, refer back to option 1 - outright ignorance.

3. Moral superiority.

It can be a useful technique to employ the role of the more englightened or educated person taking part in the debate.

To do this you need to establish some kind of expertise in the subject you're debating. A good technique is to refer to a friend or family member who you simply claim was once murdered by someone using an axe or was an axe murderer.

You can simply make a false claim, or even a real claim only exaggerate it's validity, something like "Yeah, well my cousin murdered a bunch of people with an axe and it was the first axe he'd ever even seen - up 'til that point he never even know axes existed! I know this because we were cousins and inseperable as kids...I knew everything about him/her!"

It's hard for people who do not know you or your family to rebuke such a claim, almost impossible for them to verify the validity of anything you say in this context. But if they continue to push their backwards, bigoted agenda you can then expand on this option which takes us right in to technique 4...

4. Play the victim.

So you told your opponent that your cousin murdered a load of people with the first axe he'd ever seen or touched...and they tell you they don't believe you.

Get emotional! How dare they?! They've no idea what it was like, having someone in your own family chop up a load of people with an axe! The shame it brought on you, having to come to terms with that! It was've suffered...and your enemy has come along rubbed salt into your weeping, self-proclaimed wounds...therefore you are a victim in this situation and your opponent is clearly a bad person, probably bigot or a full-blown nazi!

The beauty of this technique is it gets onlookers feeling sorry for you, and they end up on your side out of pity! This is a great technique and very effective - but the most effective of all is last but by no means least...

5. Accuse your opponent of being bigoted or racist or a full-blown nazi!

So you're saying that because he lived in a desert and didn't know what an axe was, that he was too stupid to figure out how to get one and use it? Racist!

This will instantly silence about 50% of people who DARE to argue with you.

It used to silence probably about 90% of people but they've been getting tired of that so it's less effective, but still a great technique - use it as often as possible...use it while it's hot!

People are absolutely terrified of being labelled a racist or a bigot - you've no idea how scared out of their tiny minds they are of being labelled bigot, they'd rather be called an axe murderer!

Use this technique to your advantage while it's still hot, because it is predicted that within the next 8 or-so years the percentage of effectiveness will most likely drop to about 10.

Anyways, that's all for now - I hope some folks found this helpful and please feel free to add your own techniques. Mind these techniques are specifically for deluded folks what want to maintain an absurd fantasy try and keep your responses or contributions in context, please.

edit on 8-3-2017 by HeathenJessie because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 8 2017 @ 05:23 PM
a reply to: HeathenJessie

edit on 2017-03-08T17:25:23-06:002017Wed, 08 Mar 2017 17:25:23 -0600bWednesday2503America/Chicago175 by corblimeyguvnor because: just cuz

posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 11:43 AM
I'm left with three questions.
What the hell are you talking about?
Are axes needed to dodge bullets?
Are desert dwellers the best axe wielders?
edit on 9-3-2017 by Anathros because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 9 2017 @ 11:53 AM
a reply to: Anathros

I imagine the OP is making a connection through the axe murderer points with debating on ATS.
I could be wrong of course but if I'm correct I have to say it is clearly thought out and in the main well written.

Personally I'm not drawn to getting involved in the intricate details but OP gets a star and flag from me for thread authoring effort.

new topics

top topics

log in