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Bear pond or bare pond- a tale of naked strangers.....

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posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 09:15 AM
In my latest cabin fever induced memory tirade. I chuckled about something that happened to me, and thought we could all share our "warmest" memories.... Anyhow this is my naked stranger encounter, and would love to hear yours also!
( not looking for porn, just fun or embarrassing stuff we can laugh about).
Here goes.....

I live remote, and what I call the big woods is very remote. I harvest timber and firewood by myself in late summer and early fall. While cutting in the blazing heat of august, I got that sick, dizzy, dehydrated feeling you get when you push too hard for too long. I shut down the saw, plopped down for a minute, and drank the last of my water. Not feeling much better , I said screw it, I'm going in the pond over there. I am not a person prone to skinny dipping, or being naked in public. However this is literally the middle of nowhere. I put my saw in the truck, walked down to the y shaped pond, and peeled off my stuff.

One fantastic cannonball turned backflop later, I was in the water. Laughing at myself for a royally sh#tty cannonball, I swam around a bit, feeling way better.

5-10 minutes go by, and I'm thinking about getting back to work. SPLASH!! sploosh, splash!
Uh-oh..... Black bears are very common here, and play in water to cool down too. Great, now what do I do? I couldn't see around the corner where the noises were coming from. Screw it I'll wade into the edges and peek. Trudging over there quietly, I step into a hole. Dunking myself, and swallowing water in the process. Now I'm trying not to choke to death, quietly....

Hello?....Hello?.... Is somebody there?
Hey bear! Hey bear!

Oh's not a bear. It's a woman....Great...
Yup, someone's over here. I said, sorry to suprise you, but you scared me. I thought a bear came in the pond.
Me too! Was that you cutting wood? Yup, I got a little heatstroke I think, decided to cool off in here.

Now I can see a face to go with the voice as she's swimming around the bend towards me.
Wtf lady? I'm naked, and now I get to be embarrassed too- was my thoughts...

Uhhh- I'm married, and I don't think my-
Shut up! She hissed, Now there is a bear coming in!
She passes me, without a word more, and now I believe her. I turn and head for the bank also.

While trying to hear what's going on, I quietly start putting my clothes back on- wait where is she?
My clothes are over there...she whispered. She's crouching in 2 feet of water, doing her best to be modest...

I'm going to the truck, I'll get my saw, come back over here and start it. That should scare it off.

Please hurry, I have kids....

I get the saw, sneak back, fire it up and go to wide-open throttle. Mister bear hauls ass across the pond and crashes through the bullrushes on the far bank.

Phew...that was interesting..
Thank you! Splash, splash, splash...
A very attractive, very naked woman is running at me..
One giant hug later, a lot of laughter ensued....
I turned to return my saw to the truck, and to allow this lady to fetch her clothing.

She comes back red faced, and still laughing a little.
We stammered through some I'm married with kids too type stuff and departed ways.

Two days later, im at tje store getting ciggarettes. somebody's behind me saying that's him-
Yup, it's her and her very large husband....
He walks over and bear hugs me, picking me up in the process, thanks man! No way my kids or me could live without her! Thanks brother....

I thought he was gonna kill me...
Life's a trip...

I also do not swim naked anymore.
I bring lots of water, and take breaks....

posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 09:26 AM
Great story, I need to start shopping for a cabin in the Catskills! Star and flag for not having any political content!

posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 09:31 AM

originally posted by: WUNK22
Great story, I need to start shopping for a cabin in the Catskills! Star and flag for not having any political content!

I left the best part out though. I never told my wife. She's gonna read this here and either laugh at me, or kill me...

The Catskills sound awesome, we don't have mountains here unfortunately. Good luck, and remember to holler out loud before you get naked In the woods...
edit on 292017 by Natas0114 because: Second thought

edit on 292017 by Natas0114 because: (no reason given)

posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 10:13 AM
a reply to: Natas0114

Having stories like that to tell is what makes life really fun.
Congratulations on having experienced it!

posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 10:20 AM
a reply to: butcherguy

I used to get very embarrassed, now I just laugh...
You are very right, the experience was well worth the price.

posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 10:24 AM
a reply to: Natas0114
Thank you so much for sharing! That story was priceless. Hopefully wifey gets a good laugh in before she kicks your butt!

posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 10:30 AM
a reply to: Martin75

Thanks! Technically, I did nothing wrong, but my fingers (and legs) are staying crossed.

posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 11:31 AM
A laugh aloud story. God forbid this is 100% true.
Myself and my wife and two children were walking along a lane a few miles from home when my oldest, about 14 years old at the time, say he needs the toilet bad. A number2.
Well we are just passing some rocks about 6 to 7 feet tall, so I tell him to go there. We walk on a few yards and wait. After about 5 minutes my son yells that he's not got anything to wipe with. So my wife always carries paper napkins in her bag (don't ask why) so I walk back to him.
As soon as I saw him I fell on the floor, I could not physically stand up. I nearly died of laughter.
He did not go behind the rocks as I expected him to do but was perched on the tallest of the rocks there on view to anyone walking or driving by. My wife and my other child walked back to see what the commotion was and they promptly burst out laughing. It took quite a while before we could continue with our walk.
I wont tell you about the seagull incident.

posted on Feb, 9 2017 @ 11:59 AM
a reply to: crayzeed

That is epic! I also have raised teenagers, and have a few good ones like that rolling around my memory cave...
Awesome! And thanks for sharing!

posted on Feb, 23 2017 @ 10:55 AM
Bahahaha! I almost spit my water out! Great story!

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