I need breaks. I think best when it isn't in public in front of a live audience. I get too easily caught up in feedback and think that I thought
something that was actually just someone else's words. Then I'm a hypocrite.
But eventually I get bored in my own real thoughts and return to the interchange.
To be perfectly honest, when it comes to the ideal of "productive member of society" I am a complete failure.
I don't know if you like long stories, but here goes:
After I walked out for the third to last time from a job, which consisted of working around and supervised by nurses, I then told the property manager
where I lived.
She said, "You've got to leave."
and I said, "I've made an appointment for a used goods store to see what they might take."
Her response was, "No. No. You have to leave right now."
So I threw some essentials in my car and drove away, leaving furniture, dishes, books, clothes all in the apartment. I lived in that car for a year.
But I did have one of those portable cassette players in vogue in the 90s. My favorite cassette featured this song:
I eventually got another job, because the $500 which was to last me for the rest of my life had been exhausted, and I didn't feel like dying. Then I
left that job for another, then after awhile I quit that too. I thought that I could get a job working around nurses again.
This was a different facility from the one I had left so precipitately. But I did know the nurse who was the HR person. Some years before, she had
left nursing to work in a pizza joint, which she had enjoyed. But she returned to nursing. I asked her why she came back she said "For the money."
So she was HR and she asked me why I wanted to work there I said "for the money" thinking that she would remember. But I don't think she did. She
said, "oh look, here comes the DNS (Director of Nursing Services)."
Wouldn't you know it! One of the nurses that I worked around at that other place I left. (cue the song).
She laughed. "How about you write an essay about how much you care, and can do a better job than before."
That's when I slipped out sideways. Back in those days, I was writing a lot of stuff and posting it on the breakroom bulletin board, a regular
disruptive pamphleteer.
Then I gave up, went to the authorities and got officially declared unemployable. Mental Health Professionals endorsed the declaration.
So that's the story of my ability to produce for employers in an efficient (rapid) manner while also complying with all laws, standards and practices.
Very very sub-standard.
edit on 20-8-2023 by pthena because: (no reason given)
a reply to: pthena
You tried, isn't that not worth something? I remember some talks we had about things like this and your memory that you hinted on above. Don't blame
yourself, ok?
Are you housed now with some free time on your disposal? Just an idea, maybe you enjoy helping society in different ways? If you yearn to be a
productive member, even the small things can be fulfilling. Like helping people over the road or get groceries for sick or immobile people. Or just
visiting the local retirement home and talk with people there.
I would like to offer to meditate for you and try sending you some positive energy for your free disposal. That is, if you accept it. It helped people
before and I would like to share some with you, it reads like you could use it.
I won't start without permission. If you do not feel like it, decline. Whatever helps you the most
I'm just fine now. I've been living in a rented room for at least 3 years now.
You may ask "a year on $500?" Frugality. A good habit. When I see homeless people, I give them a $20. I'm thinking it's time to give Shriner's
Hospital another donation. Maybe Red Cross for Maui.
I am a man of means,
by no means king of the road(slang for hobo).
lol I got a new camera and am playing around a little. It took me almost a week to figure out what all the thingies do, I don't do insta or any social
media so ATS has to endure the result of my experiments
I gave up on the cheap digital camera I bought. The total instruction manual was How To Install Battery in 47 languages. That's it. Nothing
else. The manufacturer doesn't even have a webpage for further instruction.
Ah globalisation... lol I didn't really look into what I was buying, much more the general stats and bought from Sweden, imported from HongKong
manufactured in China... so it was wild to find even a brand name or anything, it doesn't exist just in this one Swedish shop...
Ah globalisation... lol I didn't really look into what I was buying, much more the general stats and bought from Sweden, imported from HongKong
manufactured in China... so it was wild to find even a brand name or anything, it doesn't exist just in this one Swedish shop...
That happens a lot with online retailers, one residential address in Wales had 400+ eBay shops registered there and all roads led to China .
I got conned myself when I bought a bike online thinking it was coming from Switzerland, yip made in China rubbish arrived and is totally useless as
a bike .