Make ATS Great Again

I've decided to run for President for ATS. Crooked Washington has invaded ATS, and is internally spinning this Great website. This is a sad time for ATS, and many of us will come to realize the greatness of this next tremendous web-election. I'll have you know, I'm making superb changes to website design. I'll be cutting ads bigly. Massive cuts. I will also enable double stars from Black Project Leader donors and above. Now, I know some of you will say "Well how much have you Donated?" I am currently putting those figures together, but I can promise you a future release of them. I promise. No problem.

To address the predominant issue of ATS infiltration and security, I propose specific actions. Some of you many not know, but there are/have been hackers that have DDoS attacked ATS recently. It causes really bad load times, and can make people frustrated. These hackers are very dangerous, they are bad people.

I'm going to build a Firewall. I'm talking yuuuge. Something classy. Some of you might ask "How are we going to pay for a Firewall?" I'm going to make SkepticOverlord pay for it. After I make him install it. It will be Terrific. You might wonder "And how will you do that?" I'll get to that later. He's a smart guy and some of the best people.

Secondly, I will appoint a special super moderator to investigate the private U2U messages between Phage, theantediluvian and Annee for hacker collusion(who else could have done it right?). Annee might say "That's ridiculous." - Yeah, because you'd be banned.

This is a monumental time in our history and will shape the future. It's time to drain the swamped HOAX bin, and if together we refresh our pages for exploited ad impression revenue, we can Make ATS Great Again.

a reply to: imjack

Some campaign platform. Good luck getting the oligarchs to let you even run for their office.

And why should they, its their website not yours. They own it, play nice or get the hatchet.

Disclaimer: I am playing along with the satire, not really meaning what I am saying.

a reply to: intrptr

You don't think I can win even if it's rigged and I don't want to win? Pfft.

(winkyface)

a reply to: imjack

Got my vote , those U2Us really need looking into.

Look into ArMap's handling of Mars anomalies.
He thinks everything is a rock.
The cover-up must be brought to light.
It'll be yuuuuge!

a reply to: gortex

I think all three of them have been accused of Soros paycheck connections. Indeed. I am the perfect choice as an 'outsider' to find truth.

a reply to: imjack

You have my vote. And my vote is one of the best votes. As for the U2Us, I have seen them. I have been accused of being a couple of those people.

We need a wall, must keep the bad Ombres out!!!



P.S. I believe you have been sent by Jesus!

originally posted by: MagicCow
Look into ArMap's handling of Mars anomalies.
He thinks everything is a rock.
The cover-up must be brought to light.
It'll be yuuuuge!

Yes, but the specific issue here is I believe Phage leaked information to Annee and theantediluvian from the Really Above Top Secret forum.

originally posted by: imjack
a reply to: intrptr

You don't think I can win even if it's rigged and I don't want to win? Pfft.

(winkyface)

You can't even run if they don't select you beforehand. This isn't a democracy, ya know.

(winkyface back)

originally posted by: MagicCow
Look into ArMap's handling of Mars anomalies.
He thinks everything is a rock.
The cover-up must be brought to light.
It'll be yuuuuge!

#ArMapGate

a reply to: imjack

And I shall run against you.

I will give everyone free beer and bacon. Well, except my Muslim and vegetarian friends, they'll get green tea and Turkey bacon...

Talk about a waste of ats space and yes I'm talking about both the op and the poster.

originally posted by: KawRider9
a reply to: imjack

And I shall run against you.

I will give everyone free beer and bacon. Well, except my Muslim and vegetarian friends, they'll get green tea and Turkey bacon...

You almost had Augustus, I think, but he won't settle for beer. It will have to be bourbon.

If you can promise me that you will close the borders and put all illegals from venus and mars on a rocket to pluto.

Then you sir will have my vote.

a reply to: reldra

I'm a Mason, so I had his vote in the brown bag!

originally posted by: KawRider9
a reply to: reldra

I'm a Mason, so I had his vote in the brown bag!

LOL. I should have known. And the Masons are OBVIOUSLY behind imjack's campaign, with money from Soros, inhabitants of Niburu and probably Beyonce.

originally posted by: thesaneone
Talk about a waste of ats space and yes I'm talking about both the op and the poster.

Here comes the Mainstream Trump News Network to paint me in a bad light! You support Hackers on ATS? Sad!

a reply to: KawRider9
Beer & Bacon!!!!

Sorry Jack but I'm voting for KawRider!

originally posted by: reldra

originally posted by: KawRider9
a reply to: reldra

I'm a Mason, so I had his vote in the brown bag!

LOL. I should have known. And the Masons are OBVIOUSLY behind imjack's campaign, with money from Soros, inhabitants of Niburu and probably Beyonce.

My plan was obviously to be nominated first as a joke, but later I will choke the selection process with hypocrisy to win.

originally posted by: imjack

originally posted by: thesaneone
Talk about a waste of ats space and yes I'm talking about both the op and the poster.

Here comes the Mainstream Trump News Network to paint me in a bad light! You support Hackers on ATS? Sad.

I can be your Twitter Advisor. That should have been 140 characters and ended in an exclamation point.