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Castro goes to hell.

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posted on Nov, 27 2016 @ 06:58 PM
Not many people know this, but this last Black Friday, when Fidel Castro died, he ended up in Heaven. He was just as surprised as anyone else, 2016's been an odd year for all of us. So Castro gets in line to go through the pearly gates. After a while he gets bored so he lights up a cigar.

At the other end of the line, St Peter smells the smoke, he looks up & is about to point at the "No smoking until you get inside" sign, when he notices the smoke is coming from Fidel Castro.
St Peter checks his book and flies over to Castro & says,
"What are you doing in line here? it takes a lot of intestinal fortitude to get in this line after all you did!"

"Hey, I just died and ended up here, I just got in line to wait my turn and ask how I ended up here. This has to be a mistake." Replied Castro.

St Peter took Castro's papers and looked over them.

St Peter was all like "Okay, I see the problem, walk this way"
With that St Peter walks Castro to the down escalator right by the pearly gates.

"Yeah, you go down there, they'll process you. Good bye Mister Castro, it wasn't even nice to meet you."

So Fidel takes the down escalator to hell. Once gets there, he gets in an even longer line, the one with the sigh that reads "Average wait time 3 weeks. Smoking encouraged, get used to it now." After ten minutes in line one of the demon guards looks at Castro and makes a call on his flaming Samsung Galaxy 7 smartphone, and almost immediately Satan shows up in a humungous cloud of smoke & brimstone. He has a huge smile on his face and his arms outstretched in welcome.

"Fidel Buddy, what the heck are you doing waiting in line with these n00bs?"

With that Satan slaps a VIP name tag on Fidel & teleports him away to his new home. They arrive at this palatial estate carved into the side of a volcano with a private beach & a dock. Satan give Castro a tour of his new crib, then they get to the dock. There is a yacht there so massive that it has a smaller yacht as a life boat. There are also some jet skis moored on the docks.

"This is all yours Fidel, I'll give you a tour of your office later. For now just take it easy, relax."

"I can do that." Fidel grinned evilly

"Once your all settled in I'll show you around the office. Until them I'll send over some our our finest smoking hot demonesses, pun intended, for you to pick out for your entourage/harem, just let me get your paperwork started & I'll rush it through."

Fidel looks through is pockets & can't find his papers, "Oh no." He said, "I must have left them with St Peter!"

"No problemo buddy" Satan said reassuringly as he snapped his fingers and summons two of his best smoking hot demonesses.

"Demonesses! I want you to go upstairs and get my BFF Fidel's paperwork from St Peter & bring it back here. And use oven mitts this time, I don't want to see any scorch marks on my buddy's paperwork!" he growled at the demonesses .

With that the smoking hot bikini clad demonesses began their exhausting trek up the down escalator to hell on their quest to get to heaven. After an hour climb two tired, sweaty smoking hot demonesses emerges from Hell looking much worse for wear (I can't really say they looked like they had been through hell, because they looked really good down there.) They were so tired that they had to hold each other up to keep from falling over from exhaustion. They struggled to approach St Peter, step after painful step. St Peter looks at them & exclaims

"I don't believe it, Castro's not even in Hell for a day and already we're getting refugees!?!?!??"

posted on Nov, 28 2016 @ 09:14 AM
Fidel gets to Hell and the devil greets him, welcome Fidel you will have to choose which of three torture chambers you wanna be in:
on the first one a man was being flogged with chains - nope, says Fidel
on the second one a man was being burned with hot irons - no next one
on the last one a man was chained and a gorgeous blonde was giving him a BJ - this one is OK says Fidel
the devil asks, are you sure Fidel ?, yes replies Fidel
devil tells the blonde "your replacement arrived"
edit on 28-11-2016 by manuelram16 because: (no reason given)

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