I've lost my daughter.

a reply to: bally001

I do find your position curious.

Why do you feel like you have lost your daughter because she is making her own choices?

That sentiment is odd. Even if one of my daughters were making choices I didn't like, I wouldn't feel like I had "lost" them.

Generally, I see that attitude from the parents who want their children to be carbon-copies of themselves.

a reply to: Dalan
Your position seems odd to me. Do you have any family members that are lost to drugs?
They are lost, that is the best way to describe them.

a reply to: Martin75

Do you have any family members that are lost to drugs?

Do you have any family lost to red herrings?

Logical fallacies are more dangerous than standing armies.

They are lost, that is the best way to describe them.

Drug addicts are sick, they're not "lost."

Drug addiction is a health issue.



Claiming that someone is lost because they're making their own choices denotes a smothering attitude. We don't know if OP's daughter is an actual drug addict, or smoking weed and watching Pink Floyd's The Wall.

a reply to: Dalan

Do you have any family lost to drugs? (

Yes

Drug addicts are sick, they're not "lost."

That is a fine line. Our family had to make the decision to walk away. We were being robbed and attacked and our safety and wellbeing finally had to be addressed. It sounds harsh but you don't know either. We are taking his word for it...he is fighting. So I am supporting him.

a reply to: Martin75

I have a family member lost in a drug world. She goes missing for weeks sometimes. It is scary. My doctor gave me a bad drug for ADD and I became addicted. She raised the amount I would take every couple months. I was lost for a while in my head. One day I woke up and poured the Adderall down the sink and never looked back.

Drugs are a battle.

a reply to: Dalan

I see your point. I guess if anyone feels lost, its' us.

My daughter has free choice of course and I'd never ever want her to be a carbon copy of myself. I just want her to do well.

She was a lovely generous person, good at her schoolwork, had employment after school and on weekends. Saving for a car All her choices. We supported her as parents do.

It was her choice to go on another path and I see some sick individuals taking advantage of her now and all the good intentions she developed for herself during these last teen years of hers is gone.

Should I support her in her latest take on life. I will, but I won't indirectly support the leeches she's with now.

Lost, yeah. Gone from a morning and afternoon, "I love you daddy." To just "F'off". Certainly lost that. It's hard to continually be kind to someone, no matter how much you love them when they continually abuse you and the rest of the family. It's had an influence on her younger sibling. I fear for her life.

So yeah, I take on board what you are saying. I can wear that. Can't explain why I feel I lost her. She was a little champ.

regards,

Bally

a reply to: Jdennis10

Glad you're on track.

My sense of loss is an emotion of course and my sense of fear for my young lady is a response to that.

Still, I have hope. Authorities have their hands tied on this one but are sympathetic. They see a lot of this.


regards,

bally

a reply to: Martin75

Cheers for the support. It's been great getting this out and replying to different points of view and advice. That's ATS.

I will, after a respite due to some surgery I've had, commit to a few paragraphs of information and direction from this experience.

kindest regards,

bally

a reply to: Martin75

In reply to this, she has done another runner. I can see a change in her facial emotions.

When I've sorted this latest situation out. I'll be in touch.

bally

a reply to: bally001

I'm sorry Bally. This will be a long drawn out fight...I truly hope your family wins.

originally posted by: bally001
a reply to: Martin75

In reply to this, she has done another runner. I can see a change in her facial emotions.

When I've sorted this latest situation out. I'll be in touch.

bally

I expected she would. Addiction is a horrible thing and often takes a lot of time to work out, if things do work out. I hope they do, for her sake and that of the family. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Sadly, some people have to hit rock bottom before they can get back up again. I am so sorry this is happening to her and affecting you and your family. Hugs to you all!

a reply to: Night Star

Cheers, we're chasing our tails here.

Xmas wishes to you and yours too.

My xmas tree looks a bit sad. First time for this to happen after 21 years and 7 children. Thanks again for your support.

bally

a reply to: bally001


I keep coming back to your thread to see how you are getting along ....

I feel your pain, I feel the love for your daughter, indeed i took on board

you said she was your favorite? she is aware of that! if not

obviously deep down, she more than the others will resent that!

(that came from my mother who was a favorite .... and she hated it!) you

may think you are hiding it, you cant, it shows, maybe she is playing you?

trying to force the issue?

Try and think outside of your emotions ... Time for tough love?

a reply to: eletheia

Thanks for your encouragement. Yeah, I've told my daughter she was my favorite since she could walk.

We've kept it a secret since then. Makes it all a little sad for me. Sorry. Just brings back memories.

bally

originally posted by: bally001
a reply to: Night Star

Cheers, we're chasing our tails here.

Xmas wishes to you and yours too.

My xmas tree looks a bit sad. First time for this to happen after 21 years and 7 children. Thanks again for your support.

bally

Why does your Christmas tree look sad? Some lights, a few red bows and ornaments and there ya go...a bit of magic and enchantment which is what the family could use right now. I know it won't change what's happening, but you still have your wife and other kids and lots of love right there. You have the love of your ATS family too. There has to be a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.

Your daughter's addiction is controlling her behavior and she will eventually realize that it isn't what she wants for her life. This will take time, but you already know that. Just hang on tight, we're on this ride with you.

a reply to: Night Star

Yeah, you're right. Just that every year the young lady was the chief decorator and had her unique quirks that set the tree alight with her personality.

Thanks mate.

bally

a reply to: bally001

I understand. My Holidays are different too. Lost both my Parents and things changed. It just made a year in October since my Mother passed away. Christmas wasn't the same last year and won't be this year either, but there are still family members and we make it as beautiful as we can for each other with lots of love.

There will be other trees and your young lady will be there to share in decorating it. We have to hold on to that hope. I know I am. I am still praying too.

a reply to: Night Star

Thanks Night Star. I know. It's good I can get my feelings out on this forum. At my age you'd think I should be a grown up. Guess I've always wanted to be happy for my children and see them happy.

Dammit!!!

Slowly letting go so the young one can experience life for herself but I'll always be here to support her. Just don't like the abuse she is directing to her mother and siblings. I'm pretty calm and focusing on the family for xmas. If the young lady isn't here, there will still be a seat at the table for her with a bon bon. Sad because her grandparents are travelling a ways to be here too as is her beloved older sister (her best friend before this) and sisters husband.

Your concern and spirit is appreciated and I'll certainly update as things pan out.

My kind regards to you and yours over the festive season and will ponder on your words over this time.

bally

a reply to: bally001


Much love and light to you and the family at Christmas and always! I shall keep my eye on this page for updates!

a reply to: Night Star

Thank you Night Star. I will update again soon. Still a bit of a roller coaster ride.

bally