Beyond The Avatar

We humans are very judgemental creatures. Despite our attempts to limit the number of unwarranted judgements we make, the automatic process of commenting on another person's views or behaviour is too strong to suppress completely. Of course, judgements are not always unwarranted and they can in fact be rather beneficial for us at times. They can warn us of impending danger and aid us to prevent wasting our time and energy. They can also serve well to keep pride and vanity in check.

Nevertheless, I am speaking more of unwarranted, unfair and unreasonable judgements. One of the biggest mistakes many of us on the internet make is utilising these types of judgements when we lose control of our emotions. Whether it's the member who has turned into a brick wall and will not even contemplate your ideas; or the member who has just contradicted what you thought were iron-clad arguments; or the member whose ideological outlook and political views anger you; the tendency to judge them, usually harshly and unfairly, becomes strong.

I myself struggle with the process of creating excessive judgements — internally as well as externally. I don't always express my judgements with words, but inside my mind they appear rapidly and frequently, and I have to work hard to keep them in check. The common saying "don't judge another person before you have walked a mile in their shoes" is a useful coping mechanism. Even so, we may not have to employ such advice if we entertain one significant question: what separates our true self from our online persona?

For most members many things, but for a select few, I presume very little. After all, what is a username? A handle? An avatar? What lies behind these things? An armchair psychologist? A social justice warrior? A lonely, disenfranchised troll who feels good about annoying and upsetting others? You think you know a person because you read their posts on an internet forum? You think you have a caught a glimpse into their personality by analysing paragraphs they have typed on a screen? Maybe you have, maybe you haven't.

I have witnessed on a few occasions examples of other members getting the wrong idea about myself and/or my motives. It can be frustrating to think somebody can, what feels like to me, grossly misinterpret the type of person I am and the views I hold. However, that is the nature of the internet and more importantly, I am at least partially responsible.

I choose to keep a separation between my endeavours on websites such as ATS and my everyday real life interactions. I prefer to keep them distinct, not only for privacy and safety reasons, but also because I enjoy the separation of myself in this way — even if it is superficial.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

There's a prominent member who used to piss me off a lot. Man, their posts annoyed the crap out of me. We got talking over on the BTS side and they turned out to be really decent and interesting. They did me a favour that I won't forget.

They were also a kick in the ass and a reminder that half of our perceptions of people are projections.

This guy in the video exemplifies the human tendency to judge what we see. He seems to speak directly to the points you're making in. Watch it without shedding a tear! Listen without feeling humbled! Mwhuahah mwuahahah

originally posted by: Kandinsky
a reply to: Dark Ghost

There's a prominent member who used to piss me off a lot. Man, their posts annoyed the crap out of me. We got talking over on the BTS side and they turned out to be really decent and interesting. They did me a favour that I won't forget.

They were also a kick in the ass and a reminder that half of our perceptions of people are projections.

This guy in the video exemplifies the human tendency to judge what we see. He seems to speak directly to the points you're making in. Watch it without shedding a tear! Listen without feeling humbled! Mwhuahah mwuahahah

Well that will just change your whole mood on the way to work.

a reply to: In4ormant

It's like a dose of count-your-blessings and smell the roses

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I don't have an online persona nor indeed an avatar. I did think about having an avatar at one point but couldn't find anything that I felt might say something about me. I am pretty much myself online.
One thing I have found is that my interactions over the years have taught me something about my own attitude and mind set which has been a benefit.
I chose a username which is really non specific but has a meaning behind it for me. Some usernames can be a guide to where the poster is coming from, or at least can indicate their interest.

It's all good.

S+F.

a reply to: Kandinsky

So many adjectives can be used to describe that young man.
Bright, enlightened, wise beyond his years and so well spoken.

His peers are fortunate to have him as a role model and I think he gives insightful advice that us older folks would be wise to listen to. I particularly like the piece about 'never missing a party'.

His words on experiencing the bad times, letting it in, doing what one needs to to overcome it and then moving on, especially, resonated with me.

Thanks for sharing that video!

a reply to: TNMockingbird

You're welcome and I agree with everything you say.

I think the video is subtly life-changing at a deep level and somehow makes us all feel connected. If there's any truth to some lives being here for a reason, I'd suspect his to be one of them.