Why I gave up on people.

It has been over a year since I have last posted, I tend to have lost routes with the interest of politics over the years. I am not interested like I was when I was a teenager. I don't write anymore, it's something that I've lost I guess. But once and a while I really feel like I need to get something off my chest, even if its to a bunch of strangers who don't even know me like on this forum. But something inside me makes me feel like its important to me to write this. And to be honest deep down I don't believe I'm doing it for you (the reader) I'm only doing it this to generalize my feelings on a certain topic to gain clairvoyance for myself. I'm basically just doing this to put it all out there, just to really put it in my head that this is what I believe. It's almost like a way of re-assuring myself of my beliefs. And I feel that's why most of us are here. To explain our opinion and our feelings in hopes that someone can relate. And somehow relating to another makes you feel better inside. There's something about being on the same level as someone that makes you feel a little less lonely inside.

Growing up I always believed in having strong relationships with the ones you love (or believe you love). I always believed in brotherhood, romantic relationships, and family ties. I always grew up with a sense that you can never fail in life if you have people to share your existence with. I think the reason most people are so obsessed with the idea of relationships is because we are born alone and we all know that we will die alone. In reality we are alone. That's why we do our best to make relationships and keep a strong connection with the ones that are around us. Because it gives us a false sense of security that we are not.

Growing up into a young adult, a now college student, I began to realize how toxic people are, and how much they affect my life in such a negative way. This may sound like I am putting blame on others to justify not taking responsibility for where I am and what circumstances I now live under, but that is not true. I have come to take full responsibility for how my life has turned out and where it is going. But what I have accepted as fact is that the people around you can have a huge influence on the decisions you make in everyday life. I'm older now, I'm wiser. And I now understand why my parents say friends come and go.

I have given up on people for many of reasons. One being that I am far to busy with my life trying to improve myself every single day. It has become a waking obsession. I spend every single day learning, exercising, harnessing and perfecting my craft of music, attending college and keeping up on my study, working all weekend at my part time job. Even taking a shower, or evacuating my bowels i am either listening to a podcast or reading an article. Some will say.. "Well you have to have fun! "Well I feel like I've had my fun. What I enjoy doing is being alone. Because if I am with other people, it is a waste of my time. How am I suppose to learn if I'm busy hanging out with someone?

I have my reasons.. another is that all of my friends have become drags. All either UN-employed or stuck in a depressive relationship that I have to sit and nod my head about every time I encounter them. Some friends that are doing much better then me passively put me down right in front of my face. Sometimes I feel like they've done it so much its became a conscienceless habit for them. My whole life to them I've been goofy old Bruce. I guess they hate to see the person I've become. The intelligent scholar with a promising future and potential greatness that lies ahead of me. They can't accept the man Ive become. And they do whatever they can to sustain the image they've had for me so long. The ones that are doing better then me love to make it clear to me that they are above me. The ones who I am doing better than avoid me. Rather than be proud of me, or be there for me. I never believed in that scale before. But its come clear to me that most people in my life do live by the scale. It's always a competition and I can't stand the fact that I have to compete with the ones that I love.

I have always been the one who believed strong in brotherhood. I was the one who was always giving and giving, but never receiving anything in return. And I guess after a while you just get tired of the same old results. And for me it wasn't even about cause and effect. It was the true love that I had for my best friends. I was compassionate. Looking back I can't say that they are the same. That's why I have given up on them. The party and rock and roll life to me is a primitive lifestyle. It's out-dated in my mind, but to them all they see is someone who is now lame. Someone who sits home every weekend being a loner hanging out by himself. Because there perception is so skewed they forget the absolute truth that I have a different outlook on life now which has led me to a completely different way of living. An obsession of self improvement of obtaining knowledge and perfecting my skills and crafts. This post may give you the sense that I am cocky and arrogant. But I am very least in the sense. But I will admit that I have a strong belief in myself. One stronger then I have ever gotten from the people I have grown fond of over the years.

I have given up on people because most people have a certain toxicity that they put on you. They remain the same person, so they want you to remain the same. Because nobody likes changes, its hard for people to accept it. And that's why I feel people never undergo it. And I'm not speaking for all people when I say this, only the ones that I've come known. I've seen the people I use to look up to grow into shallow depressed human beings. The more my mind grows, the deeper I can see into them. The more I can see them for who they really are, for what they are. And it scares me. I nod my head and pretend to be normal to my co-workers. But with every word in every story they tell me I have an overall sense of where its headed, I know whats coming. Before I lose you, I am just saying that I have grown to love myself. I have grown to accept myself for who I am, something that my friends have never done. They put me down for so long that I actually perceived the image that they PERCEIVED of me. But since I have given up on people, I am starting to realize who I truly am! Someone who deserves respect, someone who is meant for greatness, a smart, compassionate, loving person who is meant to live beyond the means of everyday mediocrity and simplicity that so often drives most human beings to depression or insanity. It's a dangerous path trying to gain someones acceptance from people who don't deserve yours.

If theirs anything to take away from this post. Is that if you feel like the people around you aren't building you up and only trying to bring you down. If they aren't helping you create or preserve the image or perception you want to have of yourself. Then you should give up on them. You won't believe the change it will bring into your life, the happiness and freedom to be yourself without judgement. To accept and love yourself for who you truly are.





Please feel free to comment with any advice you can add, or if you relate to this post in some way. I plan on staying a little while

How am I suppose to learn if I'm busy hanging out with someone?

It seems from this post that your friends and acquaintances have taught you quite a lot. You can spend time with people while still being who you are, those two things are not mutually exclusive. It sounds to me like you are growing up and getting more comfortable with who you are, and others aren't. Some will catch up, some won't. Keep your head up, life happens in seasons and the seasons do change.

Watch this video. It shows how under disease and a disappointing life, she made it anyway.

I was going to write similar post - it hurts to grow apart from your friends.

You wish for the good times you used to have with them, but people can grow apart.

In my case, I am not sure what happened. Were they at one time cool, and later turn into d*cks-heads? .. or maybe I just changed, I don't know. Whatever the case, many of my old friends just became uncomfortable to be around.

You are right, bad people can be detrimental to be around - in more ways than one. Its a shame because friends can have lots of fun together and experience interesting things.

When we are young we are more tolerant of people who are occasional jerks, and d*ck-heads and tend to ignore that stuff because we are just happy to be around friends and having fun ..as a result you have friends, and have fun. When you get older you become less tolerant and demand more respect. When you don't get the respect or other people cross that line with respect to their qualities, you may choose being alone is better.

I am not sure which is better, but for me there is no going back.

a reply to: BruceEFury

If theirs anything to take away from this post. Is that if you feel like the people around you aren't building you up and only trying to bring you down. If they aren't helping you create or preserve the image or perception you want to have of yourself. Then you should give up on them. You won't believe the change it will bring into your life, the happiness and freedom to be yourself without judgement. To accept and love yourself for who you truly are.

You're right, everyone should do this.
Just everyone give up,,,, on,, everyone.
Sounds really good. Maybe it's already happened?

a reply to: BruceEFury

I think I gave up on people when I was... 6.

Well I feel like I've had my fun. What I enjoy doing is being alone. Because if I am with other people, it is a waste of my time. How am I suppose to learn if I'm busy hanging out with someone? Well I feel like I've had my fun. What I enjoy doing is being alone. Because if I am with other people, it is a waste of my time. How am I suppose to learn if I'm busy hanging out with someone?

This is an interesting paragraph. First of all, being alone is fine. I even asked my doctor, because people were nagging me to "get out of the house! Have a social life! Do something!"....

they worried about me....but I told them, I'm fine being alone. I prefer being alone! And when I do hang out or am in a situation that I am very social and talkative and listening and learning about other people, it exhausts me. I have to recharge. It's a personality type.

Anyway, my doctor assured me that there was nothing amiss - that being fine as a homebody and artist is okay.

You are right - if your companions bore you, and you'd rather be making art or music, then go make art or music. Allow yourself the freedom to learn what you want to, try what you want to, create what you want to.

You are actually still in adolescence. You are learning who you are. You are trying on various 'outfits' to see what makes you whole and happy from within yourself. You have a few years to go before your physical brain is done shaping, pruning, and coalescing into the adult "you." So, be confident with yourself.

You are right on schedule! Well done! The tasks of adolescence are to do what you are doing....and those who are chasing after party party party time are also on their own way. Be forgiving of yourself, and of them (not to say you have to 'accept' them as your friends - just accept that they are the way they are, and you are the way you are).

Other friends will come in and then drift out of your life. Your own maturity and personality will attract certain types of people to you, and will turn others off, and that's okay. You don't need to drag other people's baggage around.

Congratulations, and yes, I can relate. And I'm about nearly 30 years ahead of ya. Keep going. Keep working on what makes you feel most like "you."
Thanks for posting!!

F/S
(Very well written, too!)

hallefrickinlujah!

I could have written that word for word myself, and I couldn't agree with you more.

Just wanted you to know someone fully got what you said.

Personally I think it's a symptom of peak novelty in the world and some very disturbing "vibes" worldwide making people more and more nervous and fearful which in turn makes people selfish and self serving.

at one point I took a vow of silence for a month, carried around an index card saying so. Amazing how much it pissed off everyone I knew. I would still hang out with people, just in silence. It was like being in the BBQ club for 20 years and one day out of the blue announcing that you're vegetarian. Which, btw, I also did.

I quit. Now my only focus is on my small little family and myself. I went back to being who I feel I am supposed to be, a musician and creative artist. Now I have time and I have even lost the need to care about what "other people" think about me. I couldn't give two f**ks.

i would say we should be friends...hehe...but that might be too ironic.

cheers.

Well said, I hear you. The fact that you posted on here indicates a desire to connect and be heard, otherwise you could have written down your thoughts on paper and left it at that. No man is an island, we all need human interaction and connection, society as a whole is so sick that it is necessary to pull away and reflect inwards at times. I don't think you have given up on people, maybe your standards are too high. If you were dropped out into the woods for a month solid isolation, I wonder would your perception on this change.

Sounds like you only need to give up on toxic people, meet some good ones. You big baby.

My friend, you simply have to meet the right people, the right people will also teach you things, once in a while I get bored of people too, but its simply temporary, I take that time to improve myself other ways, searching for new music, art, films, learn about ways of life, perceptions etc, but the right people I have met have enriched me in ways I would have never discovered by myself alone. I wish good luck on your journey.

a reply to: thepixelpusher

This is an interesting story. Though I may not relate to the extremes of her circumstances, we can all get a sense of what shes going through and how it relates to us as people.

originally posted by: nOraKat
I was going to write similar post - it hurts to grow apart from your friends.

You wish for the good times you used to have with them, but people can grow apart.

In my case, I am not sure what happened. Were they at one time cool, and later turn into d*cks-heads? .. or maybe I just changed, I don't know. Whatever the case, many of my old friends just became uncomfortable to be around.

You are right, bad people can be detrimental to be around - in more ways than one. Its a shame because friends can have lots of fun together and experience interesting things.

When we are young we are more tolerant of people who are occasional jerks, and d*ck-heads and tend to ignore that stuff because we are just happy to be around friends and having fun ..as a result you have friends, and have fun. When you get older you become less tolerant and demand more respect. When you don't get the respect or other people cross that line with respect to their qualities, you may choose being alone is better.

I am not sure which is better, but for me there is no going back.

This is exactly my point.. Though I do believe there are people out there like me. That would give me the time of day and respect that I desire I just believe that they are not the people I have grown up with.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Yes, you know exactly what I am talking about. It's almost that theres something inside you that has given up faith on people. Small talk is a bore, and you expect a response that mostly relates to THEM and not you. And yes, I still am in adolescence. Even though I am 23 :p I am still learning and shaping my mind to ways of life. Confidence has always been an issue. But ever since ive developed a loving relationship with myself I have learned to believe in who I am and who I want to be. And I am also glad to hear this "You are right on schedule! Well done! The tasks of adolescence are to do what you are doing....and those who are chasing after party party party time are also on their own way. Be forgiving of yourself, and of them (not to say you have to 'accept' them as your friends - just accept that they are the way they are, and you are the way you are).

Other friends will come in and then drift out of your life. Your own maturity and personality will attract certain types of people to you, and will turn others off, and that's okay. You don't need to drag other people's baggage around."

It makes me happy to that you give me reassurance that I will attract the right type of people. People like me perhaps? I guess what it is deep down is that I am in search of praise of what I've become and achieved. Maybe because my loved ones never really gave me any when I DID succeed something. (But thats another story)

Thank you for your honest reply and words of wisdom! P.s. Thank you, I take pride in my writing ability :]

originally posted by: Michielli
hallefrickinlujah!

I could have written that word for word myself, and I couldn't agree with you more.

Just wanted you to know someone fully got what you said.

Personally I think it's a symptom of peak novelty in the world and some very disturbing "vibes" worldwide making people more and more nervous and fearful which in turn makes people selfish and self serving.

at one point I took a vow of silence for a month, carried around an index card saying so. Amazing how much it pissed off everyone I knew. I would still hang out with people, just in silence. It was like being in the BBQ club for 20 years and one day out of the blue announcing that you're vegetarian. Which, btw, I also did.

I quit. Now my only focus is on my small little family and myself. I went back to being who I feel I am supposed to be, a musician and creative artist. Now I have time and I have even lost the need to care about what "other people" think about me. I couldn't give two f**ks.

i would say we should be friends...hehe...but that might be too ironic.

cheers.

That is a very interesting story! It sounds like you were trying to prove a point to not only the people around you, but yourself as well. And Yes! You are in F*** it mode! I hear that it is natural that us as musicians carry that "I dont care about what you think" attitude. And about the friend thing.. The irony is very apparent. But things might change! They always do!

a reply to: xenap

Oh absolutley. Maybe I perhaps put the point across or gave some the idea that I was going to go full blown mountain man, and be a hermit the rest of my life. I assure you that is not the case! I simply stated that I have given up on the people that have dragged me down through life. And maybe someday I'll meet the right people and develop strong relationships with them.

But then again I might end up like this in 20 years.

You feel you are different from others around you
Civility stops you from speaking your mind at times
Perhaps you fear or rather think your "friends" will not understand you

Are you truly happy and at peace with yourself
If so then why let percieved banality effect you

Maybe you have climbed to the top of the pyramid and are now looking down at where you started
The people below are like you once were
Have a heart my friend
An ivory tower is a lonely place

You are one of billions
If you see further than others
Then let your light be a beacon for those lost in darkness
If you care to do so

originally posted by: BruceEFury
a reply to: thepixelpusher

This is an interesting story. Though I may not relate to the extremes of her circumstances, we can all get a sense of what shes going through and how it relates to us as people.

Well that video helped me. It put things into perspective and made me think about priorities.

originally posted by: randyvs
a reply to: BruceEFury

If theirs anything to take away from this post. Is that if you feel like the people around you aren't building you up and only trying to bring you down. If they aren't helping you create or preserve the image or perception you want to have of yourself. Then you should give up on them. You won't believe the change it will bring into your life, the happiness and freedom to be yourself without judgement. To accept and love yourself for who you truly are.

You're right, everyone should do this.
Just everyone give up,,,, on,, everyone.
Sounds really good. Maybe it's already happened?

At least then there's no expectations, so that they might surprise you. What's fun though is surprising them and they could be a perfect stranger as much as they could be a best friend or an old friend or an enemy.

We ourselves are where the rubber meets the road and goes places far and wide.

Thanks for sharing friend, I enjoyed your sincere aproach. My reply will be short, some people are running away from the sun and others returning to the source of the sun.

a reply to: BruceEFury