Sex Does Not Constitute A Committed Relationship.

originally posted by: DAZ21
a reply to: grainofsand
I guess I'm more old school and want me and my girlfriend to be exclusive to each other

Of course, she's your girlfriend.
I don't want a girlfriend.

I have trusted female friends who I have enjoyable recreational sex with.
Your perception will of course be different if you are with someone who is your committed exclusive partner.
I don't want one. That is the difference.

I do have a committed relationship with my left hand that my right hand doesn't know about...is that cheating?

a reply to: HUMBLEONE

If you have engaged in deception with either hand then yes, that's cheating.
It is why I'm honest from the start with everyone. I don't want an exclusive sexual relationship.
Lots of people don't.

I talked to the bloke who run off with my ex-girlfriend of 10 years on the phone once (the dog refused to see me face to face), he pretty much had the same opinion... according to him, he never stole some dudes girl, since I never put a ring on her finger.

I responded by saying "great! so now I have to live not only with the fact that my high school sweetheart run off with a some idiot meth addict, but also a f#ing Beyonce fan!"

Anyway, cheating is cheating... people can try and justify it with claiming there was no legal documents involved all they want.

But it won't change the fact that they are nothing but a thieving dog!

Just my opinion...

a reply to: grainofsand

Fair play, that isn't a committed relationship but it is a relationship.

You have trusted female friends that you enjoy sex with but they aren't your girlfriends,

Aren't you just in a polygamous relationship with a number of women?

a reply to: DAZ21

Lol perhaps!
I love my female friends, deeply, but we don't want sexual exclusivity.
Give it whatever label but it's still just friends who love each other but happen to want to have sex together on occasions with no exclusivity.

*Edit*
I'll happily spend a night just watching a film drinking wine with not even a kiss until I'm leaving the front door at the end of the night.
Sex and deep friendship are very well separated in my psyche.

My best advice is not to have sex with anyone you are not willing to have a child with or die for-- as these are two very real possible outcomes of sex-whether or not you take precautions.
I will also tell the ladies-- you carry the DNA of every male who ejaculates in you for life, so I would be very very careful about what you do for fun.
I would guess this (as well as giving away parts of your soul to your lover) is why God wants for us one man with one woman.
Sorry, OP, you might be right in the world as we currently have it, but there are many factors that people don't consider when they are looking for a booty call and these factors lead to all sorts of unhappiness. A momentary rush, a notch on the belt are not worth the consequences, especially when a child is created.
Peace to all. Hope you're willing to make the right choices or to deal with unintended consequences if you don't.

a reply to: grainofsand

The act... OK, fine, if adults wish to behave like rutting animals, that's entirely their business. But when in the hell did discussion of it and open defense, even bragging over it become acceptable in mixed company, particularly among relative strangers? "Ooh, you can pick up a barfly, wow. No barfly, but you have a friend you can hop in the sack with during lean times, daaaaamn...." This is what leaves me scratching my head. Not only does it represent a lacking of the hunt, the chase, and the game that used to constitute half the enjoyment of the dating scene, it has a total lack dignity to it. If you don't have to work for something, then it probably isn't worth a damn and if you don't have any investment into it or place any sentiment or value into it, why the hell did you take it in the first place? Speaking as a dude that's been happily and monogamously married for nearly 14 years, the growing attitude and acceptance of truly casual sex doesn't seem that far off from kleptomania or any other obsessive-compulsive behavior.

Seems like society is losing itself within it's own bullcrap and acceptance of all things anti-traditional and self gratifying. That didn't go too well for the Romans, but I'm sure things will work out differently for our "enlightened" culture. (sarcasm)

a reply to: burdman30ott6

Lol, we will clearly never find common ground so It's probably best we ignore each other.
You clearly have issues with consensual recreational sex and I assume that could be a religious thing or something, because I can't imagine what problem anyone could have with that.
Sex with friends but no exclusivity is good for some, maybe not you but hey.

a reply to: grainofsand

It's not religiously motivated, it's probably more of a product of being raised in a small rural community with traditional values. You simply don't hop from bed to bed in smalltown America unless you want the entire community to know exactly what you're up to. I'd guess you're from a more urban environment.

a reply to: burdman30ott6

Yep urban, but tourist world, everyone knows each other in Winter but Summer is around double the population of people.
It's hard not to be a slut here.
I don't lie to anyone though, and I don't think my safe sex course of activity can be criticised outside of religious circles.

Funny. The desire to have sex is to ensure the propagation of the species and may result in a child. I would hope you are committed to the welfare of children and our species?

originally posted by: neutronflux
Funny. The desire to have sex is to ensure the propagation of the species and may result in a child. I would hope you are committed to the welfare of children and our species?

I would commit to the welfare of any child of mine...I've committed the same to children who are not mine as well...still do.

a reply to: grainofsand

Hi there! I am religious (well, a Christian as of 2 years ago) but don't think that invalidates my opinion, does it?

In fact, I held this same opinion before converting. Mostly.

IMO, while we are all free to make whichever choices we want, there is a danger in saying that sleeping around is harmless fun. Read my above post if you'd like to hear a differing opinion on the matter.

I'll also say that, while the carnal side of our nature is quite strong, there are other elements to our existance that could use just as much attention. Good for you if you have a healthy balance between your earthly and spiritual needs. If I had to place them in order of importance, I would definitely not put the earthly needs first, but understand that what works for me doesn't work for everyone else.

All the different opinions sure make for an interesting world, though.

a reply to: zosimov

Nope, 'Earthly' needs are not a high priority lol.
They just 'happen' and some folk get offended or whatever by that.

a reply to: grainofsand

Well, people get offended by my being religious, so I know how you feel

a reply to: zosimov

Lol, I'm happy for you to believe whatever you like, just expect me to challenge you if you ever bitch about me having consensual recreational sex.

a reply to: grainofsand

OK, we have a deal. I am giving an opinion which most closely approximates the advice I plan on giving my children (when the time comes.. a long long time from now) but that doesn't mean I care what you do with your spare time.

I used to play in rock bands on the sunset strip. On tour. 1 girl 2 girls even 3!!! Ex fiance a prof. Dominatrix now. If i were to share stories id probably shock half the members here. Definitely one up maybe all of em. So my position doesnt come from inexperience or bitterness.

Im all recreationaled out.

I love sex. Can have it willy nilly. But these days i just dont need to bang around. If im having sex with someone its because i care about them and want to share and give them something special. Not religious or prude. Just now its something im skillful at that i reserve for whome i feel deserves it. But not because i want to get my rocks off. Im too mature for that nowadays.

Opps